The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night’s Main Event #30 – 02.08.92

The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night’s Main Event #30 – 02.08.92

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to FOX we go with the SNME series, although only for two one-hour episodes.  And with a terrible opening sequence and logo.  As I’ve mentioned before, the FOX network wasn’t available in most parts of Canada until well into the 90s, so this was a show I never got to see.

Taped from somewhere.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bobby Heenan.

Intercontinental title:  Rowdy Roddy Piper v. The Mountie

Mountie attacks from behind, but Piper tosses Jimmy Hart out and rolls up Mountie for two.  A cheapshot puts Mountie in control and he hangs Piper in the Tree of Woe and stomps him down for two.  Splash hits knee, however, and Piper makes the comeback while we get an inset promo from Bret Hart hyping his title shot at the winner of this.  Ref is bumped and Mountie gets a piledriver, then follows with the shock stick, but Piper no-sells it.  Mountie gets shocked in return and pinned at 3:40.  And then the payoff, as Piper reveals a shock-proof rubber vest under his shirt.  Uh huh, because that’s totally a thing.  Nothing match.  ½*

Meanwhile, at the Royal Rumble, Sid Justice dumps Hogan and they overdub the crowd reaction to booing for both Sid and Flair.  Thankfully modern airings of the clip have restored the smarky crowd to all their glory.  Then at a Wrestlemania press conference, Jack Tunney names Hogan the #1 contender and Sid flips out.

Hulk Hogan & Sid Justice v. Ric Flair & Undertaker

Flair starts with Sid and gets backdropped out of the corner, and it’s over to Hulk. He hiptosses both heels and runs Taker into Sid’s knee. Sid adds a slam, as does Hulk, and the heels bail and regroup. Back in, Taker gets an uppercut on Sid and Flair adds a clothesline for two. They double-team Sid, but Hulk comes in for the brawl and they give Flair the double-boot and clear the ring. Hulk poses and Sid looks none too pleased about him hogging the spotlight. We take a break and return with Undertaker attacking Sid while he seethes, and we get double-teaming in the heel corner. Sid rams them together and brings Hulk back in, but Flair takes out the leg and goes to work. Figure-four, but Sid turns his back on him. The heels continue to double-team, but Hogan slams Flair off the top…and Sid denies him the tag again. Hulk hits the heels with a double clothesline, and Sid takes a walk. Flair tosses the ref for the DQ at 10:58, allowing Hulk to clean house. Nothing as a match, but again it had to be here for the Sid heel turn. *1/2

Meanwhile, Sid goes full-on supervillain to complete his heel turn.

Meanwhile, Brutus Beefcake tells a creepy story about waking up from his boating accident with Hogan laying in the bed next to him, pumping blood from his own veins into Brutus.  Um, OK.

Hacksaw Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter v. The Beverly Brothers

Apparently this was advertised as the LOD but they were removed from the show without explanation.  Duggan quickly gets double-teamed by the Beverlies, but makes the hot tag to Slaughter, who gets a backbreaker on Blake for two.  Then he just decides to cheat and hit Blake with the Genius’ scroll for the pin at 2:38.  What a hero.  DUD

Jake Roberts v. Randy Savage

Savage’s pre-match promo is a work of art.  I would not want to f--- with this man.  Savage launches a crazed attack on Roberts on the floor and chokes away in the ring, and Jake has a broken nose from something already.  So Savage goes after it, forcing Jake to toss him to escape.  Back in, Savage attacks again, so Jake tosses him again to buy time and then sends him into the ringpost.  And then again, HARD.  And we take a break, with Savage shockingly not bleeding all over the ring after that.  Savage comes back with an elbow and goes up for the double axehandle, but Jake catches him coming down and follows with the DDT.  He demands a knockout count instead of a pin, but Savage is up at 8.  Savage backdrops out of a second DDT and drops Jake on the railing, then finishes with the flying elbow at 7:26.  Clearly the best match of the show.  ***  Savage isn’t done yet and he goes OLD SCHOOL with the ringbell, but Jake manages to escape a Steamboating.  Liz comes out to celebrate to end the show, but Jake lurks behind the curtain at the Gorilla position as the show ends.  Later, we would see him try to ambush Liz, only to be foiled by Undertaker in his babyface turn.

The Pulse

I can see why this one didn’t set the ratings on fire.