The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 04.06.21
Taped from Atlanta, GA
Your hosts are Joe Galli & Tim Storm, with Aron Stevens sitting in for the first match.
Last week: Chris Adonis has apparently joined Strictly Business with Nick Aldis, despite Nick claiming that he “doesn’t condone” the kinds of things that Adonis does. And then Adonis wins the National title from Trevor Murdoch and he sure does seem to be part of the team now.
Aron Stevens joins the commentary team and explains that they’re doing an eliminator deal to find the new #1 contender, and Stevens feels like the NWA competition is revealing his “masks of characters” and showing the real person underneath. But then Sal Rinauro comes out and demands to know why Aron is ducking him and not offering the tag team title shot promised. He even called Aron’s home number, 1-900-909-9900! Aron clarifies that he offered a MATCH, not a title shot, and Sal doesn’t have a tag partner anyway. Besides his pigtails.
The End (Parrow & Odinson) v. Chris Adonis & Thomas Latimer
So The End are doing what appears to be, and bear with me here, a combination of the God of War reboot game and Mad Max Fury Road for their gimmick, complete with spraying chrome into each other mouths before the match. Well that is certainly unique. Parrow, who was recently on the show as Mike Parrow, trades shoulderblocks with Latimer, and Odinson comes in and he’s got a giant Norse tattoo on his chest and looks like a guy WWE would have gobbled up in 5 seconds if he was any good. So I have to assume he’s not. Odinson cleans house with dropkicks and gets a belly to belly on Latimer out of the corner, and then presses Parrow on his back just to show he can. But then Parrow chases out after Latimer and Adonis jumps him from behind on the floor. Tim Storm notes that they got baited in by the better team. Yeah, they’re master baiters, all right. Back in, the heels double-team Parrow with a missile dropkick from Latimer that gets two for Adonis, and he goes to work on the back. Latimer slugs away on Parrow and Adonis measures him up for the Masterlock, but Parrow escapes with a jawbreaker and it’s hot tag Odinson. He runs wild with elbows in the corner and a neckbreaker, and a uranage gets two on Adonis. They do the AOP’s Supercollider powerbomb and Latimer lands on the floor, but they try a Doomsday Device and Kamille takes the ref, allowing Adonis to go low on Parrow and then finish Odinson with the Masterlock at 6:15. And then Latimer makes out with Kamille afterwards to be a dick. Whatever crowd they had for this one was DEAD here. 0 for 1. And then Thunder Rosa stops by to yell at Kamille in Spanish as we take a break.
Meanwhile, get your Nick Aldis retro action figure and beat up your old Hasbro WWF figures with it. But probably not the LJN ones, those things will kick your ass.
Thunder Rosa is still ranting in Spanish at the desk, but Taryn Terrell interrupts, letting us know that she’s nursing “an owie in her hip” and can’t wrestle Thunder Rosa, as much as she’d like to. And then this brings out Melina, standing up for Rosa, who is increasingly confused about why everyone is getting up in her business. Thunder Rosa being all SPICY is cool. 1 for 2.
Meanwhile, Austin Idol shills for his wrestling school while May Valentine is trying to do a promo backstage. Perhaps he should enroll her in his school and teach her how to interview people and read cue cards without sounding like a robot.
Meanwhile, Trevor Murdoch does not regret challenging Adonis while injured, because he’s not a coward and does not run away from fights. And he’s got his hat on backwards so you know he’s talking on our level. Maybe he should turn a chair backwards as well. But he’s putting Nick Aldis ON NOTICE because he was the cause of his issues.
Slice Boogie & Mims v. The War Kings (Jax Dane & Crimson)
Oh man, don’t move Slice Boogie into a jobber role already! Really he needs to go to NXT and team up with LA Knight. Mims gets thrown around by the Kings and brings Boogie in, but Crimson blocks a rollup attempt and chops him down for two. They take turns splashing Boogie in the corner but botch the spot and Boogie brings Mims in again as Crimson heads to the floor to regroup. They double-team Mims in the corner and Crimson whips Dane into Mims before dropping a flying elbow on him for two. But then Boogie yanks Dane off the apron and apparently knocks him out cold while Crimson goes to a chinlock on Mims. Mims escapes with a jawbreaker, but Crimson clotheslines both guys, and then is still lacking in a partner to tag. So Slice takes out the knee and hits a pump splash for one off that. Jax Dane is selling longer than a knocked out referee out there. Mims and Boogie double-team Crimson in the corner, but he fights them off, so they do a double suplex and Boogie gets two. And Dane is STILL out cold. Crimson makes his own comeback with a spinebuster on Boogie and then a death valley driver on Mims for two, but Boogie makes the save while a referee FINALLY checks on Jax Dane, who has been unconscious on the floor for 5:00 now. Crimson goes after Boogie in the corner, but Mims rolls him up for the pin at 7:31. OK, the Boogie train keeps rolling! This was an oddly paced tag match and not very good. 1 for 3. I feel like this tag team of Dane and Crimson that we were only introduced to on this show might be in trouble.
Meanwhile, kids playing tackle football and/or smoking is BAD. I know things are different in the southern states and people take that shit seriously but speaking as a Canadian who played football in elementary school and never got tackled in anything more than a “playing for fun” manner, I find it terrifying that there now has to be PSAs produced to warn against making your kids engage in head trauma-inducing sports at a young age. Lemme tell ya, no one in Canada is watching or betting on high school football games. It’s a very strange cultural disconnect between our countries. Or maybe it’s just a Texas thing, I dunno.
Nick Aldis joins us at the desk, but not to introduce the newest member of Strictly Business. Instead he wants to take about why he’s such a great and long-reigning World champion. Yeah but he REALLY should have dropped it by now, nearly three years as champion is getting to be a bit much. So anyway, Strictly Business is open for business and actively recruiting. Oh, and no one’s spot is secure. Given there’s only two official members that’s not particularly assuring for them, I’d say.
World TV title: Pope v. Fred Rosser
For those who don’t know the gag for this title, there’s a 6:05 time limit for the match and if the champion can retain seven times in a row, they can cash in the title and get a shot at the NWA World title. Which has not happened yet. Pope takes Rosser down with a headlock, but Rosser goes for the fireman’s carry and Pope escapes that and chases him back to the corner. Rosser gets his own headlock, but Pope hits him with short clotheslines and an atomic drop into a knee, and Pope springs to the top before missing a dive. Rosser spears him for two off that and goes to work on the ribs. Fred drops a leg on him for two, but Pope fights back with chops and a neckbreaker before missing a charge and hitting the turnbuckle. Rosser gets two off that and hits the fireman’s carry lungblower, but Pope immediately rolls to the floor to avoid getting pinned. Back in, Rosser gets two. He misses a charge and Pope comes back with double knees in the corner for the pin at 5:45 to retain. This was OK. 1 for 4. And then Austin Idol and Tyrus come out and make the next challenge.
This was pretty clearly the end of their first taping cycle, which I’m assuming was tacked onto the end of their PPV taping, and it showed with a dead show and a tired crowd. Definitely one to skip, this was not good at all.
Next week: Something called Powerrr Surge instead of the regular show, which is disheartening if they’re already skipping weeks and doing clip shows or whatever.