The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night’s Main Event #25 – 01.27.90
(OK, I’ve already done this particular episode twice and it doesn’t need another redo, so I’m gonna repost it and the Main Event #3 that follows this morning so I can move onto #26 tomorrow morning for you!)
This is a redo of a rant from 98-ish and a pretty fun show anyway. This one ties into the January theme of “ring royalty” via Macho King, I’m thinking.
Taped from Chattanooga, TN. Attendance unknown but it did a huge 11.1 rating!
Your hosts are Vince & Jesse.
Macho King Randy Savage v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
This is a “title” match, for those wondering. Savage’s coked-out promo is classic stuff (“The guillotine is what peasants use to get their hair cut, yeah!”) and Mean Gene notes that some people are born great, some have greatness thrust upon them, and still others steal it. Very true. Duggan insolently dumps over Savage’s carriage to start, but puts his head down in the ring and gets nailed. Duggan comes back with a clothesline for two and follows with an atomic drop, but gets distracted with Sherri, allowing Savage to dump him. Double axehandle follows and they head back in for another one, and that gets two for the King. Necksnap gets two. Blind charge misses and Duggan fights back, backdropping Macho out of the ring. Vince declares the match OVER, but he’s not there to elbow the timekeeper in the ribs so it continues regardless. And we take a break. Back with Duggan slamming Savage and following with a kneedrop for two. Forearm gets two, as Sherri continues being a pest. Duggan puts Savage down with a pair of clotheslines and dumps him again, but again with the Sherri and a chase ensues. Duggan threatens to backhand her, but Savage nails him from behind and follows with the double axehandle. Once more from Sherri, as she gives Savage her purse and he KO’s Duggan for two. Jesse is mystified that anyone could be dumb enough to fall for it twice. Duggan recovers with a small package for two and makes the comeback, sending Savage into the corner with an atomic drop. He sets up to finish, but Savage rolls out and reverses a suplex back in to finish at 7:55. You have to hand it to Sherri — Elizabeth would never get her hands dirty like Sherri would. In fact, it’s probably her fault that Savage lost the World title to Hogan. Fun, fast-paced match with Savage cheating six ways from Sunday to retain the crown. He’s no worse than Prince Charles, I suppose. ***
Mr. Perfect & The Genius v. Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior
Hulk Hogan should bring Warrior in as a coach for any further seasons of CCW and then make his students watch and imitate the pre-match promo. Without coke. Now that would be entertainment. Anyway, Hulk slams the heels repeatedly to start and Warrior cleans house. Back in, Perfect slugs away in the corner, but Hulk elbows him out of the ring and sends him into the post, as Hennig is already on bump overdrive tonight. Back in for another 180 bump off a trip to the turnbuckle, then one off a punch, then another off the turnbuckle. And people wonder why he had back problems. Genius, meanwhile, grabs his scroll and presumably does a live blog from the ring apron while Perfect bumps to the floor off the big boot. The headline turns out to be “WHAM!” as Perfect uses the scroll on Hogan to take over, and slugs away in the ring. Hulk sneaks in a small package for two, but Perfect stomps him down again and adds an Ax clothesline. Necksnap and it’s over to Genius for his mincing offense, and Warrior is offended. Queering don’t make the world work, you know. Perfect slugs away and now you’re gonna see a Perfectplex, but he releases at two and lets hetero lifemate Poffo try the moonsault. That misses, so Perfect goes up and tries himself, but lands on Hogan’s foot. Hot tag Warrior, and he beats the swishiness right out of Poffo, dumps Perfect, and that fucking jerk Hogan tags himself in and legdrops Genius for the pin at 7:50. That was WARRIOR’S kill! Warrior “accidentally” clotheslines Hogan in the post-match fracas with the heels (but really could you blame him?) and they nearly come to blows, setting up Wrestlemania VI in the process. Hennig bouncing all over the ring like a superball makes anyone look good. ***1/4
Jake Roberts v. Greg Valentine
Hammer takes Jake down with an armdrag to start, but Jake tries for the DDT, forcing Valentine to bail. Back in, Greg gets a cheapshot and throws chops in the corner, then whips Jake into the turnbuckle and drops the elbow for two. He slugs Jake down for two and drops a knee on the back for two. Jake slugs back and runs Hammer into the corner, which sets up the short-arm clothesline. He tries the DDT, but Valentine backdrops out of it and sends Jake into the corner to dodge a kneelift. The figure-four appears imminent, but Jake runs Valentine into Jimmy Hart and KICK WHAM DDT follows. Ted Dibiase runs in for the DQ at 5:14. Sadly, Virgil is afraid of snakes, so he’s unable to reclaim the stolen Million Dollar Belt. This would have been better with 15 minutes instead of 5. **
Ravishing Rick Rude v. Dusty Rhodes
This is another feud that would seem to have been a natural fit and yet never happened. Rude attacks to start, but Rhodes puts him down and drops an elbow on the back. They head to the floor and Dusty rams the back into the apron to work it over. Back in, Rude tries a slam for the comedy spot, only to get elbowed down. Dusty misses an elbow and Rude goes to a chinlock, while Bobby Heenan gives a piece of his mind to Sapphire. Tempers flare outside the ring and the managers are sent packing as we take a break. Back with Rude kneeing Dusty out of the ring and into the post. He goes to an armbar while Sapphire returns to sit in the front row, as ticket sales were so bad in early 1990 that you could buy a ringside seat halfway into a TV taping. Dusty and Rude collide, allowing Rude to go up, but Dusty nails him on the way down and works the leg. Rude stomps away in response and Dusty comes back (“Hit him in the gut!” notes Jesse as he tries to cheer Rude on) but Rude slugs him down again. Sapphire draws Rude out of the ring with a “seductive” pose, and the menfolk brawl to the back for the double countout at 8:38. No official decision announced, but I’m just assuming. This was Rude’s last tour as a comedy heel before his repackage as a main event killer at Wrestlemania VI. **
Dino Bravo v. Rugged Ronnie Garvin
Poor Garvin doesn’t even get an entrance at this point in his WWF career. Bravo pounds away to start and tosses Garvin, allowing Earthquake to get a cheapshot and send him back in. Bravo drops an elbow for two off that. Gut wrench gets two. Bravo misses a series of elbows and Garvin slugs back and puts him down with Hands of Stone, but he’s such a jobber here that Bravo just gets up. Garvin goes after Jimmy Hart, but his Garvin Stomp is interrupted by Earthquake. Bravo tosses him and Garvin goes up with a flying bodypress, but Bravo rolls through to finish at 3:15. The Canadian beatdown commences from there and that was pretty much it for Garvin on the national scene. *
You could definitely tell that the SNME concept was running out of steam by this point, but this is a fun show with some good matches that you didn’t often see on TV, so it’s well worth checking out.