The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestling Challenge – 11.01.86
THE RECOGNIZED SYMBOL OF EXCELLENCE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
Taped from Rochester, NY
Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan
Intercontinental title: Randy Savage v. Billy Jack Haynes
Yes, it’s a rematch from a couple of weeks back, when Danny Davis screwed over Billy Jerk and awarded a match to Savage by DQ.
Wait, wait, I’ve been wanting to work this one ever since then. I imagine that Bobby and Gorilla might have had a conversation about this match that went a little like this…
Gorilla: He’ll have to watch himself out there, Brain, because he’s facing a dangerously paranoid, drug-addled sociopath!
Bobby: Yeah, but I’m sure Macho Man can handle him.
Anyway, amazingly Danny Davis is the referee for this one AGAIN as the officials apparently never learn their lesson. No wonder he was allowed to finally just start doing whatever he wanted. They trade armbars and Billy Jerk goes to a headlock, but Savage is in the CLASSIC red and yellow gear so he’s got no chance here and might as well just give it up right now. Savage runs him into the corner and gets two, but he tries a slam and Billy falls on top for two. Savage dumps him and follows with a double axehandle to the floor, and back in for two. They fight over a suplex and Billy Jerk wins that, but both guys are out. Haynes comes back with a backbreaker and a press slam, which sets up the full nelson, but Danny Davis gets brushed by Savage’s arm while checking on him and we have another DQ win for the Macho Man at 5:20. And Danny even grabs the mic and makes the ring announcement himself! This was basically the same deal as the original match. **
WRESTLER’S REBUTTAL! WITH HULK HOGAN! Apparently the fans are all on his side and they all demand that he destroy Mr. Wonderful. Strong disagree.
The Islanders v. Iron Mike Sharpe & Terry Gibbs
OK, so now the Islanders are finally Haku & Tama officially. And they get the quality jobbers! Tama controls both guys with armdrags as they bump all over the place for him, and Haku gets a crossbody on Sharpe for two. We get an inset promo from the Dream Team as Johnny V notes that their names sound like a kidney disease. OK that’s a pretty funny line. Gibbs works on Tama and drops an elbow for one while the announcers discuss the finer points of wearing shoes in the ring (“They probably ask Tama what size he wears and he says a 15 and an 11!”) but Haku suplexes Gibbs and Tama finishes with the flying splash at 2:58.
Meanwhile, The British Bulldogs join Killer Ken, although Matilda doesn’t have any thoughts to offer.
Meanwhile, George Steele goes through a Burger World drive thru and HILARITY ENSUES. See, they didn’t need 29 writers to make terrible comedy back then.
The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff & Hercules Hernandez v. Cpl. Kirschner, Lanny Poffo & SD Jones
Mel Philips doesn’t even introduce him as “SD, Special Delivery, Jones” so that SD can do his finger guns before losing! This guy’s the worst. Poffo has a poem for us, starting “Hello Iron Sheik, you sick degenerate freak,” and then pauses for the pop and revels in his wordplay. It was pretty good, actually. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to recall in PWI at the time that Hercules was traded to Bobby Heenan shortly after this, in exchange for the Missing Link of all people, although I don’t remember Link being in the WWF at this point. The babyfaces work over the Sheik for a bit in the corner, but as usual Kirschner gets clobbered in the corner because he’s a bozo, and Herc puts him away with the torture rack at 1:40. Let’s face it, the Corporal was a disgrace to America and the marine corps. I’d like to think a real Marine would take longer than 10 seconds to submit to a guy bouncing up and down on the mat.
Meanwhile, The Killer Bees also think they deserve a shot at the Bulldogs and it’ll be a clean scientific bout.
The Hart Foundation v. Tito Santana & Pedro Morales
Intriguing! Man, Tito ended up being quite the thorn in the Harts’ side, didn’t he? Tito works a headlock on the Anvil, but Jimmy Hart trips him up, so Pedro comes in to take care of business himself. He beats on Bret in the corner and backdrops him, but runs into a boot and the Harts go to work on him. Pedro suplexes out of a facelock by Bret and makes a hot tag to Tito, who hits Bret with a crossbody for two. It’s BONZO GONZO and Tito chases Bret to the floor for a brawl and runs him into the railing a bunch of times, and both teams are counted out at 2:55. I would like to see more of this matchup, in fact, so hopefully they do a rematch next week.
The Snake Pit with special guest Rowdy Roddy Piper. Fitting name because this segment is always the pits. In this case, Jake tries to get Piper to touch his snake, and Piper is creeped out by it and refuses. NO MEANS NO. And in fact Piper finally has had enough and wallops Jake from behind, sending him flying over the snake.
The Rougeau Brothers v. Barry O & Tiger Chung Lee
We’re getting ALL the top level enhancement guys this week! Wait, I’ve got it, maybe the evil Randy Orton clone is actually his cousin, the long lost son of Uncle Barry out to reclaim the family name! Jacques evades Tiger with acrobatics while get an inset promo from Dino Bravo, who denies that Canada is proud of the Rougeaus, and in fact they make him sick to his stomach! Bobby: “Wait a second, is that Jacques or Raymond in there?” Gorilla: “That is in fact Jacques.” Bobby: “Who cares?” Rougeau Bomb finishes Lee at 1:58.
Meanwhile, corrupt old Jack Tunney finally comments on Danny Davis, as the championship committee is currently investigating Davis and his “worthiness” to continue as a referee. And yet it took another three months to do anything and he had to screw the Bulldogs out of the tag team titles before they did anything! Still more effective than those clowns in Washington, AM I RIGHT? Bunch of clowns.
Ricky Steamboat v. Moondog Rex
Aw, poor Rex back to jobbing on TV after his triumphant run in Mid-South as the Nightmare on top. Steamboat takes him down with a headscissors and goes to a headlock while Bobby reminisces about the better days, when Ricky was getting dropped on his head on Saturday Night’s Main Event, but Dragon finishes out of nowhere with a victory roll at 1:10. Well that was abrupt. And the replay clearly shows that Steamboat was holding the guy’s pants! Well, you can ask one of Steamboat’s wives: Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Meanwhile, the Dream Team offers their rebuttal to the British Bulldogs and they’re still bitching about losing the titles at Wrestlemania. They’ve got DOLLS made of them, man! You can go to a drug store and buy them, man! Beefcake is REALLY close to cracking up at this point while Valentine is ranting, but manages to hold it together until they cut.
Next week: Harley Race! Koko B. Ware! The Honky Tonk Man, who is excitement personified Gorilla would like to remind you! Roddy Piper v. Mr. Fuji!
This was a really good show this week thanks to the top level jobbers and a good mix of stuff.