The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 05.15.82
OK, so the Network is missing a week of the show, omitting the May 8 episode for some reason. I honestly thought that they had filled in all those random gaps by now.
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your hosts are Bob Caudle & David Crockett
FINALLY we have the finals for the tag titles set, as THE ELECTRIFYING Sandy Scott joins us to announce that Stan Hansen & Ole Anderson will face Wahoo McDaniel & Don Muraco in the best of seven finals for the titles, although we don’t know the cities yet.
Jack Brisco joins us, and he has won the Mid-Atlantic title from Roddy Piper, as Scott awards him the belt. But Piper storms out with a garbage can, calling Brisco a “trash can Indian”, so Brisco bounces the can off Piper’s head and calls him a “sucker” and puts a sucker in his pocket. So then incoming jobber Tim Horner decides it’s a good idea to stop by and laugh at Piper getting humiliated and “getting his can kicked” by Brisco, and Piper whoops on him pretty good with the help of Uncle Ivan, who was waiting in the ring for his match and decided to join in. So then Brisco comes back out to help and they beat the shit out of HIM too. Don Muraco tries to save and Koloff goes after him. And then David Crockett goes in to try and break things up, and HE takes a bump too!
NOW THIS IS AWESOME. Fuck the tag title tournament, this was what I want out of the territory.
Back from the break and Brisco’s shirt is all shredded, but Muraco is still looking good, and Sandy Scott announces that there will be no more DQs or countouts in matches as a part of a “30 day trial”, and all the matches will have to have a finish. And if there’s a draw, then the guys will get a 2:00 rest and then they’ll have to finish the match. I love the gaslighting here as they’re like “Oh, we know fans are sick of all the cheating from the heels robbing you of finishes!” but I guess it was 1982 and people didn’t really focus their heat on the promotion at that point.
Ron Ritchie v. Jim Dalton
Poor David Crockett is sheepishly apologizing for running into the fracas while Dalton works on Ritchie’s arm. Dalton goes to a lengthy nerve hold while Caudle points out that they have neglected to even talk about Sgt. Slaughter’s Privates thus far! Ritchie finally escapes the nerve pinch and puts him down with a dropkick and finishes with a powerslam at 5:50. I was getting worried that this would be the test for their new “no draws” system or something.
Sgt. Slaughter joins us and he’s got a newly redesigned US title, which looks sharper than the previous one with the weird center plate shaped like the country. Sarge is glad that there’s no more DQs because he doesn’t hide behind rules and doesn’t put up with excuses!
Killer Khan v. Vinnie Valentino
Khan takes him down with a snapmare and stomps on him before pounding on him with elbows and going to an armbar and then putting him down with a back elbow. Valentino comes back and slugs away in the corner, but runs into a knee like a complete geek and Khan puts him away with the kneedrop at 3:02.
Kelly Kiniski has words for King Kong Mosca, because he ain’t no baby and you don’t learn to be a great wrestler sitting back in the dressing room.
King Parsons v. Tony Russo
Huh, I didn’t know the Iceman passed through here. It’s really early in his career, before the cornrows and Rooty Poot stuff, and he seems more like a Butch Reed imitator at this point. Parsons works a full nelson for a bit and hiptosses Russo out of the corner before following with a slam for two. Another slam gets two. He beats on Russo with elbows and slugs him down, but Russo gets some forearms. Parsons with a pair of dropkicks and he finishes with a headbutt at 3:30. A very nothing debut for Parsons.
King Kong Mosca is also happy about the lack of DQs and countouts because he wins all the time anyway and never gets DQ’d. And then Roddy Piper storms in again and he’s still pissed about losing to the figure-four from Brisco and again stresses that Brisco is “a garbage can Indian” and he’ll put out a cigar in Brisco’s face if need be. “You do not throw rocks at a guy with a machine gun, Brisco! You step in my way and I’ll kill you!” DAMN. And then Ole continues to lighten the mood by blaming everything on Brisco and of course claiming that he’ll be the tag team champion again soon.
Kelly Kiniski v. King Kong Mosca
Kiniski tries working the arm to start, but Mosca beats on him with forearms and puts him down with a knee to the gut. Mosca goes to a neck vice on the mat and Kelly escapes from that and goes back to the arm. Mosca gets another neck vice while calling him “a loser, like your old man!” and this naturally gets Kiniski all fired up. But then Mosca just smacks him down again while also trash-talking color commentor Paul Jones (“That wasn’t even my big one, Jones!”) and Jones is somehow even more boring on commentary than Sandy Scott. They got me all excited for David Crockett and then did a bait-and-switch this week! Mosca keeps going back to that neck vice, but Kelly slams out of it and drops elbows on him for two. Mosca punts him down again and chokes away on the ropes before going back to the neck, but Kiniski fights back again and Mosca elbows him down and puts the boots to him. Kiniski gets fired up again, but Mosca puts him down with an elbow to the head for the pin at 7:57. I guess THAT was the big one in question. Mosca obviously gave a lot to fellow Canadian Kiniski out of respect for his dad.
Jim Dalton & Steve Sybert join Bob for our jobber promos in place of the local drop-ins, and they’re heels, so they love the no DQ rules. Dalton grouping himself with Slaughter and Ole is pretty funny.
Sgt. Slaughter’s Privates v. Jake Roberts & Johnny Weaver
Interesting main event, and this is gonna be where they test the new rules because they’ve been going on all show about them. Jake runs Slaughter’s privates into each other and slams Nelson, and Weaver comes in and stomps him down. Over to Kernodle and Weaver works him over in the corner and dodges a charge, and an atomic drop gets two. The Privates double-team the arm and Weaver just can’t get them off. Weaver slams Kernodle to escape the armbar but Nelson cuts off the tag and they keep him in the corner and that goes on FOREVER. Finally Roberts gets the hot tag as this is clearly building to a draw, and Roberts actually pulls out the DDT on Kernodle! It only gets two and they move on quickly, but I think that’s the first one. Roberts clears the ring with kneelifts and then backdrops Kernodle, but time expires at 8:50 and Crockett clarifies that they have to come back next week and finish the match. How is that any different than it was before? If they can still stall until the end of the show then that’s not any better than just having a draw.
Man this show was WILD but those new rules are bullshit and probably got forgotten and reset a week later anyway because the whole booking team was about to be overhauled. Still, that Piper-Brisco feud tho.