The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 05.01.82
I had wanted to do some Crockett stuff earlier in the week, but I already had Superstars in the can when he passed so I figured I might as well get it posted first. But what better way to pay tribute to an all time great promoter than by taking a look at Slaughter’s Privates for our weekly check-up.
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your hosts are Bob Caudle & THE ELECTRIFYING Sandy Scott. We STILL haven’t made it to the finals of the damn tag team tournament yet, but we are down to the final four teams on the Eastern side, which gives me hope that it might end sometime in 1982. Apparently the Wild Samoans have somehow qualified for the final four despite never even wrestling in the territory before this point. This tournament is such a trainwreck.
Jack Brisco joins us and wants to reiterate how disgusted he is with the actions of Roddy Piper, who beat up Tommy Rich and lashed him with a belt, as discussed last week. So Piper comes out and goes on an epic rant about how he’s proud to be a Scotsman and he wears a kilt proudly, but Jack Brisco is ashamed of his Indian heritage, so Piper has brought him a gift of some kind to put him back in touch with his bloodline. Now, I’m not sure what the gag is supposed to be, because they don’t really show the “gift” on camera, and it appears to be some kind of cloth bag tied up with a string and Piper doesn’t elaborate on what it is. Anyway, Brisco is unimpressed by Piper’s generosity and dares him to put up the Mid-Atlantic title next week, which Piper agrees to and then storms off.
Wahoo McDaniel & Don Muraco v. Carl Fergie & Bill White
Poor Muraco and Wahoo won that damn Western final something like two months ago it feels like, and they’ve been waiting around forever to find their opponents. Wahoo and Muraco take turns working on Fergie’s arm, so he tags out to White, who pounds on Wahoo with forearms in the corner. Wahoo returns fire with chops and goes to a chinlock before working on the neck while Caudle points out that Muraco is really hyper all the time. Gee, I wonder why THAT might be? Wahoo comes in and works the leg now as they’re all over the place with the body parts, but White manages to get the tag to Fergie again. But then Muraco brings in Wahoo again for a slam, and Don adds a dropkick and tombstone to finish at 4:27. For someone who is supposed to be “wild” and “hyper”, Muraco sure spent a lot of the match doing chinlocks and grabbing holds.
Don Muraco & Wahoo McDaniel join Bob at the desk, and Don wants to address everyone saying that he’s going to turn on Wahoo, and he denies it because he’s 100% committed to their tag team. Oh I’m sure he is. So to prove it, we go to a tape of Wahoo facing Sgt. Slaughter in a non-title match from Worldwide Wrestling, as Slaughter hits the cannon and is about to get the cobra clutch, but Wahoo rolls out of it and they do a chop battle in the corner and it’s pretty nasty. And then Wahoo makes the big comeback while Muraco takes out Slaughter’s Privates, and gets the pin. Pretty good match, too. Also, unlike the tag team title tournament that has been dragging on life support for months with no resolution, THIS storyline absolutely has a payoff, which you can probably guess right now.
Ron Ritchie joins us at the desk and all the babyfaces are all excited about Wahoo’s win and they’re gonna go party tonight to celebrate! Ron literally sounds like he could be on Letterkenny. He could not be any more Canadian unless he promised to go pick up a two-four from the LBS and then a double-double from Timmy’s. And then Keith Larson talks about his impending match with Roddy Piper and HE sounds like Tom Petty doing a wrestling promo.
Private Don Kernodle v. Terry Taylor
So after a couple of tag team matches between these guys, now one of Slaughter’s privates has been split off by itself. Kernodle goes for a takedown and Taylor reverses him out of the ring, and then slugs away when he gets back in the ring. Taylor goes to work on the arm and blocks a hiptoss by maintaining the armbar while Sandy Scott talks up Taylor’s handball prowess. Kernodle finally necks him on the ropes to get the heat, but Taylor comes back with a couple of slams. Kernodle rakes the eyes and slugs away on the ropes, but the ref gets all up in his business, so they throw him away and then brawl until it’s a no-contest called at 6:12. So I guess THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE and Taylor with have another chance to get his hands on Slaughter’s privates next week.
Sgt. Slaughter joins us, and he points out that Wahoo needed Muraco’s help to beat him, so therefore Muraco is gonna pay. Ole Anderson knows that himself and Stan Hansen are the only choices for the belts, and King Kong Mosca and Killer Khan come out to rebut, at which point Ole disgustedly waves them away and leaves. Sounds like him.
Roddy Piper v. Keith Larson
Been a minute since Piper wrestled on this show. He slams Larson right away and takes him down with a headlock before beating on him in the corner and putting him down with a cheapshot. Larson comes back with rights, but Piper just absorbs them all and then levels him with a shot. Larson keeps coming with a bodypress for two, so Piper beats him down again and hits him with a kneelift while bitching at the referee. Piper with the armbar and he demands the ref ask Larson if he wants to quit, but no submission happens so he pounds on him with chops in the corner and then suckers him into a blind charge before catching him with a sleeper to finish at 3:20. That was a pretty clever finish.
Carl Fergie and Bill White join us for our time-filling jobber promo, as Fergie claims that he knocked out Wahoo with his famous haymaker. Also Jim Dalton points out that you can’t give 110% in the ring, because it’s mathematically impossible and 100% is all there is to give. These promos make me miss the bumper sticker guy.
Jack Brisco joins us again and he’s got a tape of the Briscos against some more jobbers from Worldwide. And then we get a tape of Ole & Stan squashing a couple of jobbers as Stan MURDERS Tony Anthony with a spectacular lariat.
Killer Khan & King Kong Mosca v. Ron Ritchie & Ton Anthony
OK, back in our home studio again now, as Mosca and Khan are also in the final four of the Eastern tournament, but at least they made the pretense of them winning a tournament “in Montreal” to justify them qualifying. Khan is pretty entertaining here, shrieking like an animal while beating on Anthony with chops, and then it’s over to Ritchie and Mosca throws him around like a geek and twists his neck in various ways. Khan comes in and throws boots on him and then beats on Anthony in vocal fashion while Ole Anderson watches at ringside. Khan drops a knee on the back of the neck and picks him up at two, and then Mosca just comes in and punches him in the head for the pin at 5:15.
Jack Brisco is still around the desk, and he wants to talk about Roddy Piper some more, as we clarify that Piper gave him a teepee. OK, that makes sense. Don Muraco is done with all the laughing, although he’s rocking an amazing floral Hawaiian shirt. And he wants to stress that NO ONE is double-crossing the Indian, and we’re done for the week. Sometimes the simple storylines are the best ones.
RIP to Jim Crockett Jr.