Got it all figured out.

Seriously, I got the whole ding dang figured out. Hear me out.

The Miz comes out and he says now look here. I'm the world champion but I'm on a Mizzion (mission). Or something clever. He points his pig hoof to the Wrestlemania sign and he says look here – and Bad Bunny comes out. Now he's his bodyguard like Virgil. He looks menacing so that creates separation. Miz says look, my MIZZION is to be the best ever. And Bunny is here to help me. How, I don't know.

Well here comes the goddamn Lex Express into the arena like Angle's milk truck. It's Lex Luger! Here he is! To do all that American nonsense. Well, he says your beehind is mine, Miz. Miz runs away. He says fine if you can beat the Bunny tonight in a match, you get my title. Well, Lex and Bunny fight, Lex wins with a forearm smash, Bunny falls out of the ring and loses in a 10 count. Lex says HAH Miz, will ya look at that, I can milk this now for ten more years, now I want your title!

Miz pulls the 2 count, why-didn't-my-finisher-win look with his face. You know, the one they teach in NXT. He says, no, next week, a tag match! Me and Bunny versus you and a partner of your choosing. Lex just struts around like a goofball and says fine.

So next week. Miz and Bunny come out all tough like a bunch of jerks. Lex comes out and says alright, here's my partner! And you know who it is?


Because bunnies fear gators because gators I assume eat bunnies.

And that sells tickets, pal!

Your friend,

You had me right up until your email started.