The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 08.03.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 08.03.85

Haven’t done of these in a while and I’ve been thinking about Butch Reed this weekend anyway, so let’s go back to Bill Watts.

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Joel Watts & Jim Ross

And indeed, Joel Watts announces that Hacksaw Butch Reed has won the TV title from Dutch Mantel in New Orleans, which to me has always seemed odd in that you’d think a TV title would only change hands on TV.  THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE TV TITLE!

Bill Watts rails again the UNBRIDLED ACTS OF PROFESSIONAL TERRORISM that Skandor Akbar perpetrated against Hacksaw Jim Duggan (you know, what with the fireball and all) and declares it a problem with the entire Middle East, where “terrorism equates you to hero status”.  And he doesn’t want to glorify the heinous acts of terrorism, but let’s watch a replay of it in slow motion from multiple camera angles so we understand just how heinous the terrorism was!  Anyway, Bill lets us know that there’s only three things important to his life:  GOD, FAMILY AND COUNTRY!  So Bill throws to his own promo from May, where he puts over man’s man Jim Duggan and FIGHTING AMERICAN Terry Daniels, who went in against insurmountable odds and flew the flag of AMERICA.  But then he got beat up by those terrorists, and then the damn LAWYERS got involved, and if there’s one thing Bill hates more than foreigners, it’s LAWYERS.  They’ll even sue each other these days!  Well Rudy is sure finding that one out.  So Bill is taking his career back to basics, where you go to the gym and work out and then kick somebody’s butt and STAND UP FOR AMERICA!  So he came out of retirement and saved Duggan from a beating by terrorist associates Dibiase & Dr. Death.  So back to Bill in the present, and he clarifies that he’s not a bleeding heart liberal (you don’t say…) but rather he’s an “American supremacist” and we need a “final solution” for Akbar.  PHRASING.

Anyway, I kid, but Watts is incredible and much like no one else could be a better Vince McMahon than Vince McMahon, no one else could be a better Bill Watts than Bill Watts.

And then we get another Watts promo, this one with Duggan, as they’re setting up a “Missing in Action” match, where the loser leaves town for 90 days, as the main event of the Superdome show.

Over to Akbar, who only cares about money and doesn’t care about America, and also slips into a Tennessee accent while doing his promo.  Oh, wrestling.

See this was what we call THE HARD SELL, my friends.

Mid-South TV title:  Hacksaw Butch Reed v. Dutch Mantell

Dutch immediately lays out Reed and then takes out the referee before the bell, and then whips Reed, but Reed catches it and wins a tug of war with it, then whips the shit out of Dirty Dutch and goes after the referee as well.  Bill Dundee comes in to help and Reed whips the shit out of him as well and chases all the heels off.  Well that was quite the deal.

Dick Murdoch v. Karl Stiles

Oliver Humperdink interrupts before the match and challenges him to get a piece of the Nightmare in advance of their Superdome match for Nightmare’s North American title.  So Murdoch agrees to the match, but Humperdink SWERVES him and instead of facing Nightmare, he gets to face HUMONGOUS.

Dick Murdoch v. Humongous

Yeah, so after the Road Warrior came out around this time, wrestling suddenly had a bunch of people playing (Lord) Humongous because all you needed was black trunks and a hockey mask, with the most famous versions coming from Memphis and notably played by a young Sid at one point.  This guy is nowhere near that level of fame, and was basically a green job guy named Gary Nations who is still around today apparently.  Humongous no-sells everything from Murdoch and tosses him out of the ring, then sends him into the railing and bloodies him up, and back in for a hockey-mask assisted headbutt and cobra clutch for the shocking submission at 3:38.  Despite the giant push here, he didn’t last long in Mid-South, because he was HUMONGOUSLY terrible and couldn’t work a lick.

Jake Roberts & The Barbarian v. Ken Glover & The Mongol

I’m assuming that the Mongol is the bald guy with the goatee, but I don’t want to stereotype.  So at this point Jake was turning babyface, and he works on Glover with a hammerlock on the mat before Barbarian comes in and beats on him in the corner. He drops a leg and gets a ridiculously bad powerslam, and it’s over to the Mongol, who looks like Damian Demento’s mini me.  Barbarian immediately puts him down with a big boot and Jake finishes him off with the DDT at 2:45.  I get the feeling the guy wasn’t really of Mongolian descent.

Ted Dibiase v. Wendell Cooley

Dibiase has very rare red trunks and kneepads here and it’s pretty badass.  Cooley uses some dropkicks to keep Dibiase befuddled, but tries one too many and Dibiase puts him down with an elbow and boots him in the face.  Dibiase chokes him out on the ropes and follows with a powerslam, and then finishes him off with the figure-four at 2:40.

Al Perez v. Jerry Grey

Perez takes him down for some grappling and works for a wristlock, but Grey slugs away on the ropes and chokes him out after a cheapshot.  Grey drops an elbow for two, but Perez fights back with his LATIN TEMPER and slugs away in the corner, then hits him with the german suplex to finish at 3:02.  Grey looked good here for an enhancement guy and this was a pretty decent little match.

The Nightmare v. Jerry Backlund

Just to clarify, Jerry Backlund was better known as Jimmy Backlund, aka Jimmy Del Ray.  Nightmare runs him into the corner and gets a high backdrop, then runs him into the mat a bunch of times.  Nightmare with a bearhug and he puts Backlund down with a press slam, but then picks him up at one.  Backbreaker gets two and he picks up Backlund off that as well.  Finally he hits the piledriver and finishes at 3:23.

And finally, Bill Dundee joins us at the desk, accusing Bobby Fulton of ripping off his style, and so next week they wrestle and the winner gets Dundee’s expensive suit.

Damn I wish that the Superdome show was on the Network.  Anyway, I’ve missed this show greatly and will definitely welcome it back into the rotation again.