The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.27.21
Taped from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur
Eddie Kingston v. Lance Archer
Lance sends the Snake away for this one, and they slug it out to start before Lance hits him with running elbows in the corner. Eddie fights back with chops and biting and a classic thumb to the eye and they exchange more strikes, but Archer hits him with the Pounce and then picks him up and chops him down again. Eddie won’t stay down, so Archer chokeslams him out to the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and Eddie takes an awkward bump to the floor off that. Looks like he landed on his hip instead of his ass. Archer runs him into the camera and beats on him against the railing, and back in for a pump splash as he declines to finish the match. So Eddie comes back with a low dropkick and a running knee for two. He goes up and Archer tries for the Blackout, but Kingston slips out of it, so Lance chokeslams him and ropewalks into a moonsault before putting him in the IRON CLAW. But then Butcher and Blade assault Jake from backstage, and Bunny sneaks brass knuckles over to Eddie, and he hits Archer with the backfist for the pin at 9:00. This was a pretty ugly match as they never really meshed at all and the finish was kind of bullshit. *1/2
Meanwhile, Jon Moxley tries to piece together the relationships in the Elite, and he doesn’t even know if he’s friends with Eddie Kingston anymore. But he likes his beer cold, coffee hot, and sex in the morning because it’s a good way to start the day! Wise words indeed.
Meanwhile, Sting and Darby are hanging out in a warehouse somewhere, and Sting’s feelings are hurt by accusations of being a hoodlum. But then Darby throws his skateboard through a window to confirm that he actually a hoodlum, so Sting gets into the spirit by smashing up a window with his baseball bat. So I guess they’re ready for a street fight.
Chris Jericho & MJF v. The Varsity Blonds
MJF offers Griff the chance to just give up, so Griff boots him out to the floor and that naturally upsets Maxwell. So he tags out to Jericho. The Blonds double-team him with legdrops and Pillman gets two, but misses a dropkick. But a second one hits and the Blonds work on Jericho in the corner until MJF gets a cheap knee from the apron and we take a break. Back with Griff making a comeback with clotheslines and a double corner splash that sets up a double spear on the heels, and that gets two. Pillman comes in with a missile dropkick on MJF, and a superkick on Jericho for two. But then a dives goes awry and Jericho blocks another dropkick the Judas Effect, before finishing with the Lionsault at 8:14. Griff showed some really hot babyface fire here but the Blonds are still really green. **1/2
Meanwhile, Pac does a crazed promo from his secret hideout about the six-man next week.
Meanwhile, Shaq talks some shit about Cody Rhodes.
Cody Rhodes wants to announce that it’ll be himself and Brandi against Shaq and Jade at the PPV, but Brandi is pregnant, so he’s got more important things on his mind. But Arn tells him he needs to take the match, so Red Velvet comes out and it’s Cody and Red Velvet against Shaq and Jade and more importantly I TOTALLY CALLED THIS TRAINWRECK.
Hangman Page v. Ryan Nemeth
Page stomps Nemeth down in the corner with no discussion from the announcers on Nemeth’s much more famous brother, but Nemeth takes him down and works the arm for a bit. Page blocks an irish whip, but Nemeth does a very familiar neckbreaker for two. Page comes back with a sloppy spinebuster and a corner clothesline, and the sliding lariat gets two. Nemeth gets a DDT for two, but the Buckshot Lariat finishes at 5:38. Nemeth appears to have a bright future headlining indie shows where the main event features WWE’S DOLPH ZIGGLER………..’s younger brother. * Afterwards, Big Money Matt Hardy decides to make Page an offer he can’t refuse, playing to his emotions while my wife questions why everyone is talking about their feelings tonight instead of fighting. Good thing she wasn’t watching the Brodie Lee show with me.
Dax Harwood v. Jungle Boy
Smartly, they’re already dubbing in the crowd singing along with “Tarzan Boy” so people get the hint for live shows. Luchasaurus is handcuffed to Tully and Cash to reduce potential shenanigans. They trade headlocks to start and Dax puts him down with a shoulderblock, but JB goes for the STF and Dax bails. Back in, they trade chops and Dax wins that battle with a questionable low shot, but he misses a charge and hits the post. Jungle Boy hits him with a backdrop suplex and clotheslines him to the floor, but he follows with a baseball slide and Dax counters him into the railing as we take a break. Back with a slugfest in the ring and JB puts him down with forearms in the corner, but he goes up and gets crotched as a result. Dax brings him down with a superplex for two, but Jungle Boy gets fired up and they trade forearms until Dax puts him down with a lariat. With a powerbomb, but JB reverses to a rana for two, so Dax does it again and this time it’s a slingshot powerbomb for two. JB fights back with a german suplex for two, but Dax grabs the ropes to block another one, so JB gets his own lariat. Dax headfakes him and hits a DDT for two. JB fights up and goes to the top for a bodypress, but Dax rolls through for two. They trade rollups for two and JB gets a crucifix for two. Dax with a jackknife for two and JB reverses to the backslide, but Dax blocks with a knee to the gut. JB rolls him up for two and then rolls into the STF, and Dax taps at 14:45 to finally give the kid a big win on TV. Good for him, this match was AWESOME. **** And then FTR demonstrates sportsmanship for all the kids out there, throwing powder in the dinosaur’s face and sending him into the post before triple-teaming Jungle Boy with a slingshot suplex. They add a spike piledriver on Luchasaurus to complete the beatdown, and then handcuff him to the ropes and vandalize his mask.
Meanwhile, Team Taz is doing a promo outside and gets randomly pissed off by a merch stand, so they beat up the geeks who running it and Starks slams one of them through the table.
Dr. Britt Baker DMD v. Shanna
They take it to the mat for some grappling and Shanna wins that with enthusiasm, and fights off Britt with an enzuigiri and then misses a baseball slide on the ropes. I’m amused that Excalibur talks about “Rebel” and Tony off-handedly corrects him to “Reba” because he’s still brainwashed by Baker. Britt takes over on the floor and we take a break, and return with Shanna hitting a clothesline in the ring for two. Britt takes her down with a crucifix for two, then hits the neckbreaker for two and loads up the pink glove before going for the Lockjaw. Shanna rolls her over for two, however, and gets a stunner, then follows with a shotgun dropkick, but Rebel provides distraction and Britt finishes with the Lockjaw at 8:12. And then we get another heel beatdown on this show, but Thunder Rosa makes the save to set up the match next week. Pretty decent match. **1/4
Meanwhile, MJF tries to manipulate Sammy Guevara, but he’s not buying it.
Meanwhile, the Young Bucks and Good Brothers go over the gameplan before the main event, and everyone is pretty pumped for the match, but Don Callis stops by to accuse the Bucks of assaulting him.
The Young Bucks & The Good Brothers v. John Silver, Alex Reynolds, Evil Uno & Stu Grayson
John Silver asks for Doc Gallows, which amuses Doc, but he obliges by offering up a knee. So Silver slugs away on him with forearms, but a cheapshot allows the Bullet Club to take over. Reynolds comes in with a sunset flip on Matt for two, but the Bucks give him a double dropkick and clear the ring. Everyone works on Reynolds in the corner and they quadruple-team him with a suplex from Gallows. Anderson trips up Reynolds, so Uno trips up Matt Jackson, and it’s over to Grayson as he runs wild and blocks the superkicks. He goes up with a frog splash on Anderson for two and we take a break. Back with Silver getting a hot tag, but Nick backdrops him onto the apron, so he goes NUTS and takes out all the Bullet Clubbers and then DDTs Nick for two. Uno comes in with a neckbreaker on Nick, but misses the senton and Matt comes in with a double Northern Lights suplex on them. Matt runs wild with corner clotheslines, but The Dark Order gets their own double-teams and Fatality gets two before the Good Brothers save. The Dark Order bails and Nick hits them with a dive to take them out before we get TRIPLE APRON BOMBS from the Bullet Club outside. Back in, Grayson is left alone for QUADRUPLE SUPERKICK, but that only gets two as Uno saves. So they take him out with the Magic Killer, and the Meltzer Driver finishes Grayson at 12:12. Well this was definitely all actions and they were quite deliberate in making sure John Silver wasn’t the one taking the fall. **** Afterwards, the Bucks announce that they’re in the tag team battle royale for a shot at themselves, which means they get to hand-pick their opponents if they win. This brings out Fenix to attack, but another heel beatdown results as Kenny Omega joins in, and then Jon Moxley makes the save and takes out Omega to end the show.
Next week: Beach Break, with a battle royale and a wrestling wedding! Talk about running the gamut.
First hour of this one was shaky but I wouldn’t kick the second hour out of bed for eating crackers, as the kids say.