Smackdown – August 11, 2006

Date: August 11, 2006
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re rapidly approaching Summerslam and that means we need to get some of the card set up. One of the big stories coming out of last week’s show was Chavo Guerrero explaining his attack on Rey Mysterio, which means it is time to set up their Summerslam match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari to get things going. Daivari talks about Undertaker challenging Khali to a Last Man Standing match at Summerslam, which is Undertaker asking for trouble. That’s going to be a no, because Khali has already beaten him down over and over. Cue Undertaker for the brawl and a chokeslam drops Undertaker, who bails in a hurry. They were done with this in a hurry.

We look back at Rey Mysterio brawling with Chavo Guerrero last week until Vickie Guerrero broke it up.

Vickie tells Chavo that this is ridiculous and he needs to stop, but Chavo talks about how close the two of them are. Rey isn’t a Guerrero but he’s trying to steal their legacy. That has to be stopped.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Tatanka

Non-title. Tatanka chops him into the corner to start and clotheslines Helms down for daring to block a suplex. Helms sends him into the buckle and hammers away as Cole tries as hard as he can to get over Tatanka’s warrior ceremonies as important. The Nightmare on Helm Street is broken up so Helms kicks him in the face instead. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tatanka makes the comeback. Chops abound, including the top rope version to the head for two. Helms grabs a neckbreaker for two and the Shining Wizard connects for the pin, despite Tatanka’s foot being underneath the rope. Even JBL says he was robbed.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of the problems with WWE. Yes they’re giving Helms a bit of a push, but what in the world is facing Tatanka with a screwy ending supposed to do for him? That is the problem with a lot of the people who have been debuting or getting a renewed push as of late: yeah there’s a push, but it’s a really boring one as there is nothing important for them to do. Helms is a champion and Tatanka is the best they have for him?

Daivari rants about Undertaker to Teddy Long, who makes the Last Man Standing match for next week instead of Summerslam. I seem to remember this being because Khali couldn’t be trusted on live television, which should tell you a lot of the problem at the moment.

KC James/Idol Stevens vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. London takes Stevens into the corner to start and it’s time to start working on the arm. The alternating shots to said arm have Stevens in early trouble but it’s off to James. As Cole talks about how impressive it was for James and Cole to beat Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty last week, Stevens gets in a cheap shot from the floor to take over.

London gets driven back first into the apron and there’s a slam onto James’ knee. That’s about it for the offense though as London quickly gets over for the hot tag to Kendrick as everything breaks down. James kicks Kendrick in the face so Stevens can roll him up with a grab of the tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. What in the world is their obsession with having the Tag Team Champions lose over and over again? That’s how we got to London and Kendrick becoming champions and I believe the Pit Bulls did the same. At least this one had some more energy to it and McCool is rather perfect in the role as the heel manager. I’m sure it’ll get a rematch for the titles, but I can’t imagine it makes Summerslam.

Ashley hits on actor Luke Perry and here’s Kristal to continue the Diva Search feud that will not end until we have a winner. Kristal leaves and flirting continues.

It’s Diva Search time and we have a talent contest with Luke Perry as the judge.

First up is Jen, who beats up a guy named Josh with some martial arts, drinks beers ala Steve Austin, and then shouts a lot.

Layla dances in a police woman costume, though she does slip on the beer a bit. The costume does not stay on long and she gets in a fight with Jen.

Milena is in martial arts gear, which also doesn’t last long, and she beats up the same Josh guy before playing to the crowd a lot because her talent ran out 25 seconds into the minute time.

Finally it’s JT who rhymes/raps about the rest of the women which is not exactly entertaining the crowd. You could tell Miz was begging for the clock to wrap up as soon as possible.

Layla wins due to the only positive crowd response. She’s also the only one who showed any kind of talent for more than thirty seconds. This was as much of a waste of time as you could have with a bunch of good looking women in limited clothing.

Vickie Guerrero begs Rey to stop this with Chavo. Rey promises to try to stop in Eddie’s name.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy

Feeling out process to start until Mysterio snaps off the first hurricanrana. Kennedy hammers away in the corner and counters another hurricanrana by sending him ribs first into the buckle. A running knee to the head gives Kennedy two and we hit the armbar. Mysterio fights up and sends him into the corner but gets crotched on top. That doesn’t get Kennedy very far, as Rey snaps off a super hurricanrana to send us to a break.

Back with Kennedy injuring Rey’s leg and then driving him back first into the apron. Mysterio fights up and gets two off a Code Red but here’s Chavo to break up the 619. The fight is on so Vickie comes out to break it up, only to get knocked over in the process. Vickie screeches at both of them and….that’s the match.

Rating: C. The match itself worked out well enough but there is only so much that can be done with an ending (or really the lack of an ending) like that. To be fair though, it makes sense in this case as you don’t want either of them losing, as Kennedy lost last week and Mysterio is going into this feud. Kind of a weird choice to set up with those options, but it did well enough.

Queen Sharmell tells King Booker not to be worried about defending against Batista at Summerslam.

Sylvan vs. Vito

Vito slaps away to start and hits an atomic drop but a thumb to the eye cuts him off. JBL panics because the dress comes up and Sylvan grabs a spinebuster for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit as Cole talks about drinking with Vito. The comeback is on with the implant DDT setting up the armbar to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D-. Do you get the joke yet? They’ve only done it for over a month so far so I didn’t know if you got the idea yet. It’s completely hilarious of course and not something that has been done better and more memorably before. Another short match, but man alive this is getting worse every week.

Raw Rebound.

We look back at the Undertaker/Great Khali segment.

Sylvester Terkay vs. ???

Terkay jumps him in the corner to start and snaps off a suplex. There’s another suplex and Terkay unloads on him before knocking the unnamed one out with a right hand. The armbar is academic as the guy is out cold.

Post match Terkay holds him up so Elijah Burke can get in a cheap shot.

MVP is in Teddy Long’s office and wants to be signed. Food is provided because MVP knows he’ll be able to afford it.

William Regal tells Finlay to have his head on straight out there.

The Boogeyman is coming back. Add him to the list of not so great ideas.

Summerslam rundown.

Batista/Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay/William Regal

King Booker and Queen Sharmell join commentary. We’re joined in progress with Batista driving shoulders into Finlay in the corner and grabbing him by the throat. It’s off to Lashley so Finlay bails out to Regal. That’s fine with Lashley, who beats Regal up in the corner instead. A cheap shot sends Lashley outside so the Leprechaun can be dropped onto Lashley. Booker: “WHAT THE H*** WAS THAT???” JBL goes into a very excited explanation as Regal uppercuts away at Lashley back inside.

Lashley is sent shoulder first into the post and we hit the chinlock. Regal comes in for a full nelson on the mat as Booker talks a mile a minute about how built Lashley is but how Regal will break him down anyway. A backdrop gets Lashley out of trouble and it’s off to to Batista as everything breaks down (Booker: “We got a donnybrook!”). The spear into the spinebuster finishes Regal in a hurry.

Rating: C+. Perfectly watchable main event tag here and that’s all it needed to be. This was about getting Batista a win here and pinning Regal will do just fine. You can probably guarantee a US Title match with some combination of everyone here not named Batista for the pay per view as well so this was a good way to do two things at once. Booker’s commentary was excellent here, as he has a great way of talking about a match while also being entertaining. I can see why he has had such a nice career on the radio.

Post match Batista thanks Booker for holding the title for him until Summerslam. JBL: “Oh no he didn’t.”

Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped and Summerslam is mostly rounded out but dang that midcard is getting weaker all the time. The people aren’t interesting and the stories are even worse, but at least Vito can do the same thing every week. Maybe that can get better in the future but for now, this show is rapidly becoming a slog outside of one or two things a week.

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