Monday Night Raw – August 7, 2006

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam but this week’s show is going to be interesting in a bad way. The roster is fresh off of an Australia tour so there is a good chance that they are going to be absolutely spent. I certainly can’t blame them for that, but it can make for a dull show. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Umaga beating down Shawn Michaels last week to set up Umaga vs. HHH this week.

We look at Graceland to start….and now it’s Vince and Shane McMahon in Elvis suits. Shane talks about leaving Shawn all shook up last week and HHH was dancing to the jailhouse rock last week because of those cigars. Shawn even wound up at the heartbreak hotel because of a hunka-hunka burning Shane.

Vince says he’s going to be cruel tonight when HHH faces Umaga. Shane: “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Vince: “I wanna thank you very much Elvis.” Vince likes Shane’s look, but everyone needs to know something: Elvis has left the building. This was AMAZING and needs to be seen (though pesky music rights mean it’s not on the Network).

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is defending….for about four seconds as Edge and Lita interrupt before they can even lock up. Edge says this match is over and he’s taking over Raw. So much for that.

Edge tells Trish to stay because she needs to hear this. It’s not fair that he has to defend the title against John Cena in Cena’s hometown of Boston and if he is disqualified, he loses the title. So NO, it isn’t fair that he has to put up with more than anyone in this company. Edge demands the Summerslam poster be put on screen, which features DX, John Cena, Trish and Batista (Edge: “You have to get him on there before he gets injured again.”).

There’s no Edge, but he has a makeup picture because he can be on the cover of Raw Magazine. It’s a blonde from Toronto who looks like a million bucks and…..of course it’s Trish in rather limited clothing. Edge doesn’t like being bumped by someone who hasn’t won a match in over a year. Lita gets in Trish’s face and backs her into the corner but Trish comes out slapping. That’s broken up by Edge so Lita spears Trish down. Cue Carlito for the save but Edge spears him down, likely meaning a mixed tag later.

There is a one hour Diva Search special coming. Nope. This isn’t on the Network.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets Johnny Nitro, on commentary with Melina, for the Intercontinental Title. Shelton strikes away to start with little success as Kane grabs him by the throat. Kane takes him into the corner for some right hands, followed by a running clothesline. There’s the side slam but Shelton counters the chokeslam with a DDT. The second attempt works just fine though and Benjamin is done in a hurry.

Video on the Australia tour. This wasn’t on the Network either. Must be a music thing.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He doesn’t get this Edge guy. Edge is always talking about respect, but he’s already the WWE Champion. Maybe he isn’t on the Summerslam poster because his face scared children. Apparently Edge has a 7-11 deal going and Lita is a part of it. Imagine: Slurpees for Herpes! Cena: “You can’t stop it. You can only suppress it.” Cena has a consolation prize though: Edge can be on the cover of Crying B**** Illustrated.

That’s enough fun though because Edge needs to get out here right now. Cue Jonathan Coachman instead though and Cena isn’t happy. Coach says Edge isn’t out here tonight because he and Lita are teaming up against Carlito and Trish Stratus. If Cena wants to fight though, Coach has an opponent ready for him.

John Cena vs. Viscera

Joined in progress with Viscera hitting the snap spinwheel kick to put Cena down. Viscera hits the big running splash in the corner to put Cena on the floor. That’s good for two back inside but Cena slugs away with the right hands. The slam goes rather badly though and Cena has to kick out again. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up again and slugs away, setting up the Throwback. Cena tries the Shuffle but is quickly countered into the Boss Man Slam. Viscera misses the splash though and Cena hits the FU (those legs were SHAKING) for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. I know Cena might not be the most popular guy in the world, but being able to throw someone the size of Viscera onto his shoulders and flip him over (without his legs buckling) is one of the most impressive things you’ll see in wrestling. That is raw power and Cena looks like a superhero when he gets to showcase it. The whole match was just there for the ending and that worked fine.

This Week In Wrestling History: Showdown At Shea 1980. Zbyszko vs. Sammartino isn’t mentioned for some reason.

Vince and Shane McMahon are with the security guards but Shane has to go take care of something.

Trish Stratus is freaking out with Carlito, who she kisses to blow off some steam.

Shane goes looking for Shawn Michaels but finds the Highlanders, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson, but no Shawn. Instead he heads back to the locker room but Shawn jumps him from behind. The beatdown is on, with Shawn hitting a cop by mistake to get himself arrested, leaving HHH on his own tonight against Umaga. Dang that’s a coincidence.

Edge/Lita vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Carlito slugs away at Edge to start but gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. Some running clotheslines put Edge down though and it’s off to the women for a change. Trish takes Lita down to hammer away but Edge breaks up the Stratusphere. The chinlock goes on and a hair pull sends Trish right back down. Lita sends her face first into the mat but Trish is back up with the spinning headscissors. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick puts Edge and Lita on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Edge chinlocking Carlito until Edge sends him outside. That means Lita can get some shots before Edge brings him back inside for a double arm crank. Carlito jawbreaks his way to freedom though and it’s the springboard elbow to put Edge down. The hot tag brings in Trish to beat up Lita, including countering the Twist of Fate into a spinebuster for two. Everything breaks down and Edge’s spear hits Trish, earning himself a trip to the floor. Ever the opportunist, Lita steals the pin.

Rating: C. You can only get so much out of a mixed tag and that was the case again here. They had two matches going at once with the tags bridging them together, which doesn’t make for much of a match. Lita pinning Trish worked fine enough, but you could think the World Champion pinning Carlito would be a little more acceptable.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton isn’t impressed by Hulk Hogan having a torn meniscus because it’s just a way for him to get out of their Summerslam match.

Here’s Ric Flair, carrying a copy of Foley Is Good (Mick Foley’s second book). Flair talks about being from Memphis before saying he has spent ten years trying to figure out what makes Mick Foley tick. Everyone told him to read his second book, which was a look inside Foley’s head. Flair drops the book and stomps on it, followed by a knee drop for good measure.

That’s what Flair thinks of the book, except for one page. On Page 169, Foley lists his favorite matches, with his favorite being Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair. Foley knows he can’t beat Flair, but here’s Foley to say Flair has found out the secret. Yes the I Quit match with Funk was the greatest match he has ever seen and he can never be as good as Flair. Then they can have a classic at Summerslam and get Flair back to the top of the mountain where he deserved.

But that isn’t going to happen, because Flair didn’t help Foley back in 1994. Flair could have done something for his career but didn’t. Foley has made a vow to never do anything to help Flair in his life, so at Summerslam, Flair and Vince McMahon are invited to kiss his a** because the match isn’t happening.

Flair tells Foley to be a man one more time in his life because they can have the greatest hardcore match anyone has ever seen. He literally gets on his knees to beg Foley to make the match happen so Foley rants about Melina being embarrassed last week and wants an I Quit match at Summerslam. Flair gives it a WOO, but Foley says cut the music. After a career of great matches, Summerslam may be Flair’s greatest ever, but it may also be his last. Not as good as their previous stuff, but it kept things moving forward.

Randy Orton vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler is in the all white and scores with the early slap to the face. An Irish whip sends Lawler into the ropes but he’s back with another slap. Orton rakes the eyes and dropkicks him down though, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lawler punches him down, only to miss the middle rope fist drop. The RKO doesn’t work so Orton kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the fast pin. This was just a step above nothing.

Jeff Hardy is coming back.

The Diva Search girls come out, Eric is eliminated and it’s time for Diss the Diva. Well in a minute maybe.

Summerslam rundown.

The Diva Search girls play Diss the Diva, no one likes anyone, and we’re done.

For some reason, the Hardy vignette, the pay per view rundown and both Diva Search segments are missing from the Network version.

HHH vs. Umaga

The McMahons and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here too. They slug it out to start with Umaga cutting him off with a headbutt. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor though and a posting rocks him again. Back in and a spinwheel kick cuts HHH down without much trouble, meaning Umaga can sit on his chest. There’s the running headbutt in the Tree of Woe, followed by the running hip attack for a bonus.

Umaga headbutts the mat by mistake so HHH slugs away but has to deal with the McMahons. A missed charge sends Umaga into the corner but the Pedigree is broken up. The spinebuster gives HHH two as Vince pulls the referee out, meaning it’s time to beat up the McMahons. That’s enough of a distraction for Umaga to hit the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. Much like last week, this was all about advancing DX vs. the McMahon, but it also made Umaga look like a much bigger deal in a hurry. This was HHH walking Umaga through the match and letting him do his thing, which worked out well enough. Not a great match, but they did what they needed to do.

Post match, Umaga leaves the McMahons with HHH, allowing Vince to hit his own Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the Summerslam card, or at least the top of it, is all set now and that makes some of the TV shows a little slow to watch. This one was acceptable enough though and you can see most of the matches already. I’m looking forward to the pay per view, but it’s a good thing that next week is the go home show as there isn’t much left to do for the show.

 

 

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