ECW on Sci Fi
Date: July 25, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
Things continue to just kind of exist around here and that’s not the best place to be. I’m not sure how long they can keep going with Big Show defending against various people, but that’s about all they have at the moment. Hopefully the latest guest star works though because that’s all they have. Let’s get to it.
Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly (officially with two names) are in the ring to start and we get a highlight package of Kelly’s Exposes. Knox says she can never take her clothes off in public again and we see Kelly getting caned in the head last week. That was absolutely Sandman’s fault and Knox left to get her medical held. Now it’s time for some revenge.
Sandman vs. Mike Knox
Joey calls Sandman a blue collar beer drinking character. Knox pounds away to start and hits some right hands on the mat, only to get caught with the White Russian legsweep. The Singapore cane is brought in so Knox hides behind Kelly, only to have Test come in to jump Sandman for the fast DQ.
The TKO leaves Sandman laying and Test leaves with Knox and an annoyed Kelly.
Post break, Test and Knox are rather pleased but Tommy Dreamer jumps them with a trashcan.
Sabu wants an ECW Title match but Paul Heyman won’t let it happen because it’s too dangerous. Actually Sabu being here is too dangerous, so he has the night off. Heyman turns and accuses Little Guido of talking about him, so the security jumps him. Guido is done, so security has him taken to the ring for his match.
CM Punk talks about growing up in Chicago and seeing a lot of people come and go. He debuts next week.
Vampire vs. Little Guido
Ariel is in the unnamed vampires’s (oh sorry: follower of vampirism) corner. The mostly done Guido tries to fight back but gets kicked down, setting up a fireman’s carry Stunner off the ropes. A Razor’s Edge finishes Guido.
Video on Kane, who is challenging Big Show tonight.
Shannon Moore is still coming.
Justin Credible vs. Balls Mahoney
Mahoney pounds away to start and they head outside with the beatdown continuing. Back in and Justin scores with a legdrop into a northern lights suplex for two. We hit the chinclock, followed by the chinlock with a knee in the back. A belly to back suplex gets Mahoney out of trouble and the snap jabs put Credible down. The BORING chants are on, even as Justin misses a baseball slide into the post. The baseball slide only hits post but Justin gets in a shot of his own and heads outside for a chair. Mahoney takes it away and hits Justin for the DQ.
Rating: D-. And that’s why this version of ECW is never going to work. They had a bad match on their own with no extreme rules, and without extreme rules, there is nothing to make these two worth watching. Credible was always bland in the ring and Mahoney only worked in the hardcore stuff. Therefore, giving them six minute and leaving them hanging out there was a horrible plan and it is no surprise that this was a disaster.
Post match Mahoney chairs the referee too.
Big Show tells Paul Heyman to bring on the challengers but Heyman tells him to focus on Kane tonight.
We get a tale of the tape for Kane vs. Big Show and Kane’s hometown is listed as Death Valley. When was he EVER listed as being from anywhere?
Video on Sabu.
Kurt Angle is back next week.
ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Kane
Show is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. They shove each other around to start and Show tosses him to the floor. Kane manages to post him and pulls out some tables and chairs. Show knocks him down though and we take a break. Back with Show hitting the chop against the ropes and then sending him head first into a chair in the corner.
A Vader Bomb is broken up with a low blow and Kane hits a belly to back superplex for a double knockdown. They slug it out from their knees until Kane sends him into the corner for a running clothesline. Show hits a quick chokeslam for two and heads to the floor to set up a pair of tables.
That takes too long though and Kane chairs him off the apron through the tables. Cue Heyman to talk to Show until Kane throws (the now bleeding) Show back inside. Kane’s top rope clothesline is pulled out of the air for another chokeslam but Kane reverses into a DDT. Heyman pulls the referee out though, allowing Show to chair Kane down. Another chokeslam onto the chair retains the title.
Rating: C+. That’s probably the best of the guest star matches so far and I can’t say I’m surprised. Kane is good with the violence and these two beating on each other is a fine way to spend fifteen minutes. Maybe it’s just due to how lame the rest of the show was, but at least it worked out fine for a TV main event without much drama.
Post match here’s Sabu to dropkick a chair into Show’s face. Heyman looks worried and annoyed to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but this show was really lacking badly. You can only get so far when one match on the show matters and even that was only so good. The show just did not work and if they don’t come up with something better than “Big Show vs. this guy”, it’s going to get worse in a hurry. Sabu s pretty much the only ECW original worth a title shot at the moment, so hopefully things can pick up a bit in the next few weeks.
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