The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 06.11.04
Continuing on with the beginning of the little show that wouldn’t die.
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West
Kid Kash v. The Amazing Red
Kind of funny how they were still running their PPV shows at the fairgrounds and were drawing flies, but they paid for TV time on Fox Sports and suddenly have a packed house that looks like a big time promotion. It’s no wonder this became their primary outlet. They trade armdrags and Red dropkicks Kash to the floor and follows with a dive. Back in, Kash takes the ref while Dallas gets some abuse on Red, and back in for a double underhook backbreaker that gets two. Lance is not even TRYING to be subtle about his Test imitation. He’s literally wearing the same gear and has his hair done the same way. Red comes back with a 619 and flying elbow for two and they fight to the top, where Kash tries a powerbomb and Red counters into a rana in mid-air. Physics is calling its lawyer as we speak. But then Kash ignores that and hits a double underhook piledriver for the pin at 4:18. Felt like the highlights of a longer, better match. **1/4
Meanwhile, the Frenchfries is interviewing Dusty Rhodes about his role as the judge later tonight, but Vince Russo calls him away for something else. Perhaps for a discussion of booking a territory into the ground.
X Division title: AJ Styles v. Frankie Kazarian
AJ takes him down with a headlock and hits the AJ dropkick, but Kaz retreats to the corner and counters out of the Styles Clash. So AJ tosses him to the floor, but Kaz necks him and comes back in with a DDT for two. Slingshot legdrop gets two. They slug it out and AJ tries a victory roll, but Kazarian turns it into an electric chair for two and pounds him on the mat as we take a break. The tape machines are rolling! Hopefully they can afford tape. Back with AJ hitting his inverted DDT deal for two, but Kazarian gets a flatliner for two. Kaz with a blind charge that misses, and AJ catches him with the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 7:50. This brings out Kid Kash and Dallas for the beatdown, but luckily Don Harris is there to keep law and order. Good but rushed, as usual for this show already. ***
Meanwhile, we get a video package about Jeff Jarrett, in case we’ve forgotten that he is a thing that exists.
David Young & The Naturals v. 3 Live Kru (Ron Killings, Konnan & BG James)
Konnan brings Andy Douglas to the corner for a beatdown and Truth comes in with a top rope legdrop, and follows with a leg lariat with James’ help for two. The Naturals double-team James with a clothesline, but David Young comes in in the midst of a 54-match losing streak and gets destroyed by Truth with the axe kick at 2:48. And then Jeff Jarrett joins us, after we JUST had a video package for him, and he’s about to challenge the Kru to something for the PPV, but then Dusty interrupts Jeff’s interruption. He’s been CONVERSATING with Vince Russo and Killings gets a title shot on the 2nd anniversary show on June 23. So Vince Russo was supposed to be the guy in charge in kayfabe but he needed to get Dusty to make the match? *
Monty Brown v. Sonny Siaki
Brown blitzes Sonny and suplexes him on the floor, and back in for two. Running powerslam gets two, but Siaki slugs back, and Monty finishes him with the POUNCE at 2:01. Apparently AMW defends the tag titles against Monty and Abyss in the main event at the PPV following this show, which shows why running weekly shows was such a stupid idea. If you don’t have a main event worthy of PPV, then don’t ask people to pay $10 to see it.
Meanwhile, Johnny Fairplay gets beat up by a football player.
Meanwhile, Raven would also like a shot at the NWA World title, which he expresses in video package form! That was actually a feud that legit drew a big buyrate for once, but then they screwed up the payoff and by the time Raven actually won the title, no one gave a shit.
Bobby Roode, Eric Young & Petey Williams v. Heavy Metal, Abysmo Negro & Mr. Aguilla
Team Mexico clears the ring to start, but Aguilla gets caught in the Canadian corner as Mike Tenay reminds us that Aguilla is more well known as Essa Rios elsewhere. They always come off so second-rate with that stuff. Young beats on Aguilla in the corner and Scott D’Amore chokes him out from the outside. Young with a knee to the gut for two, but Aguilla makes a hot tag to Negro, and a moonsault gets two. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and the Mexicans are doing flips all over, but Roode powerslams Heavy Metal for two. Metal escapes a powerbomb and puts Roode down with a spinkick for two, but D’Amore pulls him down with the hockey stick and Roode gets a death valley driver for the pin at 5:45. ** Team Canada does the beatdown, but Hector Garza tries to save and he gets beat up as well. And then finally Jerry Lynn and Chris Sabin make the save because apparently they’re doing some kind of flag match at the PPV and this was their half-hearted way to set it up.
Again, not a BAD show, but a show with a major identity crisis and no real reason to exist at this point. Clearly the weekly PPV format was a loser and they needed to just switch to the traditional model that worked for WWE and WCW forever. But hey, it’s short and inoffensive and gives me an outlet to make fun of Jeff Jarrett, Dusty Rhodes AND Vince Russo at the same time, so there’s that.