The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.09.20
Taped from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur
Sting’s already in the opening. Impressive.
AEW’s influence on Impact was pretty impressive, not only driving up their TV numbers in real life, but making the Impact rant a pretty massive success on the blog as well. So that earns it at least one more week before I probably get sick of it and drop it forever.
The Young Bucks v. The Hybrid 2
TH2 attacks to start, but the Bucks suplex Evans onto Angelico and chase them both out of the ring. They try a stereo dive but get foiled by TH2, but the Bucks regroup and spear them on the floor. Matt hits a double baseball slide and then Nick dives over him. Back in the ring we get a SHITLOAD of flips and the Bucks send Evans out of the ring with a double dropkick, and then go to work on Angelico. He manages to dump Nick and then Evans dives off his partner and onto Nick, while Angelico slams Matt into a standing 450 from Evans that gets two. A second one misses, and everyone is down after a superkick party gone bad. Nick gets the hot tag and runs wild with kicks in the corner and the bulldog-clothesline combo. Nick takes Evans off the top with a rana and then spikes Angelico with the springboard X-Factor for two. Evans gets powerbombed off the apron and into the front row, leaving the Bucks to double-team Angelico in the ring, and Ricky Business gets two. But then Evans gets a blind tag and hits a springboard 450 onto Matt for two. Angelico tries a buckle bomb on Matt, but it gets reversed into a high kick from Nick in the corner, and they hit Evans with a Doomsday Device on the ramp. This leaves Angelico alone at a SUPERKICK PARTY, which gets two for Matt. More Bang for your Buck hits knee and Evans gets a reverse rana on Matt and then hits Nick with a 450 onto the floor, leaving Angelico to work the knee of Matt and lock in the death roll kneebar. But then Nick saves with a swanton. The Bucks get tossed, but Evans tries a dive and lands in a tombstone from Matt, which Nick turns into the Indytaker onto the floor. Back in, Angelico rolls up Matt for two, but Nick superkicks him and the BTE Trigger finishes at 11:45. This felt way too long. Sometimes it’s OK to just go 6:00 and beat the geeky midcard tag team clean. Still really good but they missed the peak. ***1/4 The Acclaimed tries for the attack afterwards, but SCU chases them off.
Meanwhile, MJF is looking forward to pissing off the smart marks tonight when he beats Orange Cassidy and wins a second ring.
Meanwhile, Darby Allin does an inkblot test and sets up Brian Cage as his next challenger. Come to think of it, has he even defended that title yet?
Cody Rhodes joins us, but Sting makes his entrance to another huge pop, and he’s pretty verbose already. He shares a hug with Tony, but he’s not here for Cody, he’s here for the guy with the facepaint hiding up in the rafters. So he reveals that he’s signed a long-term contract, and blows off Cody. Sting was having a lot of fun out there.
Meanwhile, Team Taz have now reclaimed Hook.
FTR v. The Varsity Blonds (Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr)
Now THAT is a great tag team name. Cash rides Pillman to the mat while JR sums up his father: “He was a great athlete, one of the best. But he was crazy.” FTR double-teams Pillman and Dax gets a snap suplex, but Pillman comes back with dropkicks and the Blonds go to work on Cash in the corner. Griff with a legdrop and Pillman gets two and then beats on Cash with chops in the corner before missing a bodypress out of the corner. This allows FTR to go to work on him and Dax rips at his face as we take a break. Back with a replay of FTR hitting a Demolition elbow and sending Pillman to the floor for some shenanigans from Tully, but Pillman comes back and makes the hot tag to Griff. He runs wild and gets a double corner splash and a double spear on FTR, and that gets two on Dax. Pillman comes in with Air Pillman, but that misses and Dax hits him with a brainbuster to set up the SHATTER MACHINE at 7:28. See, didn’t go too long, the midcard team got some offense and then ate the loss. I hope this means Pillman got out of his MLW contract and can sign with AEW long term. **1/2 We get a quick confrontation from Luchasaurus at ringside on the way out of the ring, so obviously we know where FTR is going next.
Meanwhile, Hangman Page needs partners next week for a six-man, so Silver and Reynolds pop out from behind the bar (“How long have you been back there?”) and Page accepts their offer. But it doesn’t mean he’s joining the Dark Order.
10 v. Dustin Rhodes
Dustin slugs away in the corner and tosses him, but 10 drops him on the apron, which I might remind you is the HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Back in, 10 gets a spinebuster and then boots Dustin off the apron and into the railing, but Dustin finishes him off with the bulldog at 2:49. This brings out the Dark Order, as Uno wants to recruit him as Seven. Tony: “He doesn’t want to be THAT number!” And indeed, Dustin teases a handshake and then slaps Uno down.
Meanwhile, Tony sits down with Brandi Rhodes and Shaq, and Shaq thinks that Jade might have gone too far in breaking Brandi’s arm. But then he tells Brandi to watch Jade for pointers, and she’s had enough and throws a drink in his face. Women, am I right?
The Inner Circle join us for their Ultimatum, and Jericho admits that yeah, they’re having some different opinions at the moment. MJF starts a promo and Sammy tells him off, but Ortiz decides to make peace and notes that MJF is “growing on him like a fungus” and wants Sammy to shake his hand and put the beef behind them. So Sammy goes along this time, but one more incident and he’s out of the group. Sammy is gonna be such a huge babyface soon. Hager and Wardlow are sick of each other, but Jericho brokers peace and they’ve apparently resolved all their differences. Well that’s a relief!
Meanwhile, Cash Wheeler still feels bad about costing FTR the tag team titles, but Tully takes responsibility for not being there.
Eddie Kingston & The Butcher & The Blade v. Lance Archer & The Lucha Bros
We get a crazy brawl on the floor to start and Butcher suplexes Penta through the table, and Archer starts the match officially with Kingston and chokes him out in the corner. Fenix gets double-teamed by the heels and Kingston comes in with a slam, and Blade chokes him out and allows the Bunny to get a cheapshot from the apron. Fenix fights back with a cutter and makes the tag to Archer, who hits both Butcher and Blade with running elbows in the corners. And we take a break. Back with Fenix coming in with a flying bodypress on Blade and then hitting Kingston with a dive. Back in, Butcher and Blade catch him with the powerbomb/neckbreaker to finish at 8:23. **1/4
Meanwhile, Red Velvet gets beat up by Jade Cargill and Nyla Rose. Oh no, not Red Velvet!
Abadon v. Tesha Price
Abadon hits a clothesline and slugs away in the corner, then takes her down with an STO and a Widow’s Peak for the pin at 1:08. The beating continues after the bell, but Hikaru Shida saves with a kendo stick and rescues the jobber, at which point Abadon does a zombie situp.
Meanwhile, the Inner Circle is SOLID. And Jericho announces that they’re gonna be at ringside in the main event to make sure they have MJF’s back.
Kenny Omega shows up in a helicopter, dressed like a complete douchebag, and joins Tony for an interview in the ring. Tony is DISGUSTED, but Don Callis brushes him off and puts over the screwjob as “bigger than Montreal”. Kenny puts over nepotism and does an increasingly unhinged heel promo about all the years of planning and then finishes by “doing the thing” without revealing any surprises. This was actually the same interview as he did on Impact, which reduces any need to ever watch that episode again.
Dynamite Diamond finals: Orange Cassidy v. MJF
MJF attacks and destroys the sunglasses, and gets a suplex for two. Another one is reversed into a stunner and Orange sends him to the apron, but charges and hits the post by mistake. MJF takes him to the floor and gives him a powerbomb onto the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Orange gets his fingers wrapped in the turnbuckle bolt for some damage there, and back in MJF gets two and goes to work on the arm. Orange makes a comeback, but MJF puts him down with a flapjack and stomps the hand for two. Orange gets tossed and takes a beating from the Inner Circle, and we take a break. Back with MJF still in control, but Orange dropkicks him to the floor and follows with a dive. Back in for a crossbody and tornado DDT, and the diving DDT gets two. MJF stomps the hand again, but Orange rolls him up for two, so MJF flips him into the corner and follows with a double underhook shoulderbreaker and a powerbomb for two. Orange backdrops out of the Heatseeker to put MJF on the floor, and he follows with a dive onto the Inner Circle and then retreats to his friends on the other side of the ring. Back in, MJF gets the Heatseeker for two and brings Jericho’s bat in, but Orange outsmarts him and puts his hands in his pockets and plays dead. The ref grabs the bet and Orange gets the Air Raid Crash for two. MJF with the armbar and he goes after the fingers, but Orange hits the Orange Punch for two. A second one gets two, but the Circle interferes and we get the brawl at ringside, which allows Miro to run in and lay out Orange, putting MJF on top to retain the ring at 13:53. Man, when is it ever gonna be Orange Cassidy’s turn? Wasn’t fond of the WAY overbooked finish here, match was OK. **1/4
As usual, a light and easy to watch episode that flew by, but there’s nothing terribly notable here as far as quality wrestling.