The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.02.20
Spoiler: THIS SHOW WAS AWESOME.
But feel free to read on.
Live from Jacksonville, FL, WINTER IS COMING!
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur
Dynamite Diamond Battle Royale:
Just like last year, the last two people in the match face off for the diamond ring. Everyone starts on the floor and heads into the ring at the bell, although Scorpio Sky and some others hang out and decline to join in right away. Matt Hardy tosses out Isiah Kassidy 1:20 into the match, and Hangman teams up with the Dark Order to put out Serpentico at 2:00 with a clothesline. And then they team up again to put out Luther at 2:20. MJF and Sammy join in late, and MJF saves Sammy right away to begin driving that wedge. Spears puts Sydal onto the ramp with the C4 to eliminate him at 3:15. Scorpio slugs away on Spears and tosses him at 3:40, which upsets Tully. So he calls Shawn over and loads up the black glove for him, allowing him to hit a cheapshot on Scorpio from the floor and Sky gets thrown out at 4:39. Quenn and Reynolds right on the apron, but Silver accidentally eliminates his own partner at 5:10, only for Quenn to regroup and toss him out. TO HUGE HEEL HEAT! Holy cow, John Silver is getting OVER! Matt Hardy tries to throw out Page, but he lands on the Dark Order and they put him back in. He hits the Buckshot Lariat on Quenn, but Matt dumps him out at 6:21. Orange Cassidy gets taken out by Kip Sabian, but Kip is out as well and Miro is angered by this development. So he beats on Joey Janela and Lee Johnson and throws Lee out at 7:39, then hits Joey with a spinning slam. He throws Matt to the apron and then dumps Quenn and Matt at the same time at 8:27, and then tosses Janela. So we’ve got Miro, Jungle Boy, Sammy, MJF and Wardlow left. Miro fights them all off and has a showdown with Wardlow and they trade fisticuffs. But then the Inner Circle tackles Miro and Wardlow gets his licks in. And they all team up and dump Miro at 10:15. So Jungle Boy is alone with the Inner Circle. He manages to backdrop Sammy to the apron and they fight out there as Sammy bounces all over the place, but they fight to the top and MJF shoves them both off, leaving MJF and Wardlow as the winners at 11:19. But then it turns out that Orange Cassidy was not actually eliminated, so Wardlow hauls him in and Orange shoves Wardlow into MJF, nearly eliminating him. Orange hits them with Orange Punches and dumps Wardlow, and the real winners are MJF and Orange Cassidy at 12:15. So they meet for the ring next week. Really fun opener and a nice tribute to Pat Patterson, the battle royale specialist. This one had a lot of irons in the fire, with Miro going on his run and the Inner Circle imploding and Hangman making friends with the Dark Order, and they were putting in the work on it.
Chris Jericho v. Frankie Kazarian
Speaking on behalf of Canada, 40 degrees F is not a “brisk” night. That’s legit shorts and t-shirt weather. Maybe grow a set. Jericho gets a Greco-roman eyepoke and goes to the apron, but Kazarian trips him up and they head to the floor, where Hager gets involved. And of course Jericho catches him with the codebreaker on the way back into the ring to take over. Back to the apron and Jericho knocks him off as we take a break. And since I’m actually watching LIVE tonight I can watch PIP without reflexively hitting the “skip forward” button 7 times. Man whoever invented that button on the DVR remote is a genius. Anyway, I’m not actually recapping it but I am watching it and typing this out while it’s happening, but you’ll NEVER KNOW whether that’s the truth or I was just lying about it. Because I’m a professional. As long as Tony Khan’s cheques clear. Back from the break and Jericho takes over with a suplex and Kaz comes back with a flying forearm, but misses a dropkick. Jericho tries the Lionsault and hits knees, and Kaz gets a legdrop for two. They head to the top and Kaz brings him down with the Spanish Fly for two. He tries a Tomikaze, but Jericho blocks with a codebreaker attempt, and Kazarian reverses to a boston crab of his own. Ortiz tries to take a swing with the TUBE SOCK OF DEATH, but Hager talks sense into him. So then MJF comes down with a white towel, playing at getting ready to throw it in, but Sammy steals it from him and Jericho sees Sammy carrying the towel and apparently ready to throw it in. Kaz gets a pair of rollups for two, but Jericho hits the Judas Effect to finish at 10:55. And then the new and improved Inner Circle has a meltdown and threatens to get into a brawl, but Jericho has had ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT. So next week, it’s an ultimatum: Either they work it out and settle their differences, or it’s the end of the Inner Circle forever. That’s certainly an ultimatum. ***
Meanwhile, Alex Marvez talks with the Young Bucks. “Hey, remember when we superkicked you right in the face?” Next week, the Bucks face TH2 in a non-title match, but a new team called the Acclaimed interrupt and cut a SPICY freestyle rap on them about how they’re brothers who are looking at each others’ junk on the cover of their book. Well that’s rude. And then TH2 attack as well and SCU saves.
Dr. Britt Baker v. Legit Leyla Hirsch
Glad to see Hirsch back again. Britt makes fun of her height and gets taken down with an armbar, so she has to make the ropes. Hirsch rides her on the mat and goes to a headlock, but Britt escapes and gets what is supposed to be a superkick, but it literally makes no contact and Hirsch has to pretend to sell it anyway. That was really embarrassing. We take a break for PIP and Britt works the arm and runs it into the post a few times while Rebel (not Reba) dances in celebration at ringside. Back in the ring, Britt holds a headscissors on the mat, but Hirsch powers out, so Britt takes her down with a clothesline. Back with Hirsch making a comeback with forearms and a german suplex to send the doctor to the floor. Hirsch dives and poor Rebel takes the bullet for Britt, and Britt hits a sling blade on the floor. Back in, Hirsch hits her with a kneelift and takes her down with a cross armbreaker, which Baker reverses to the Lockjaw. But the jaw is not locked and Hirsch reverses to the armbar again. Britt escapes that, so Hirsch hits her with another knee and goes up, but Rebel runs interference and Britt sends her into the middle turnbuckle. Britt follows with the neckbreaker and this time she gets the Lockjaw to finish at 8:40. That one superkick spot was terrible but the rest was some really solid pro wrestling, with the series of reversals at the end being really good in particular. **3/4 But Thunder Rosa quickly dives in while Britt is holding the Lockjaw, and beats on Baker to continue that program.
Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricky Starks v. Cody Rhodes & Darby Allin
We take a break immediately and return with the faces in control, double-teaming Starks, as Cody gets a delayed suplex and slugs away in the corner. Darby trades shots with Starks, but they head to the floor and Darby gets run over by Hobbs with a clothesline and hurled into the railing. Back in, Hobbs goes to work with a delayed suplex and some pushups, and he squeezes on Darby on the mat. Starks comes in and misses a charge, colliding with Darby for a double down, but Hobbs cuts off the tag and ragdolls Allin with a bearhug. Finally Allin fights them off and makes the hot tag to Cody, who powerslams Starks and runs wild. Taz takes the ref and Starks gouges Cody’s eyes as a result, but Cody comes back with the Cutter and Darby blind tags in and finishes Starks with the coffin drop 11:24. Good finishing sequence there and Hobbs definitely has something in this role. **1/2 Arn comes in and tries to get some shots on Powerhouse Hobbs, but that goes pretty badly and Dustin Rhodes has to make the save and clean house. But then Brian Cage destroys Dustin and the heels are about to smash them…and the lights go out. AND IT’S STING!!!! HOLY SHIT! He didn’t have to do anything but come out, stare everyone down, and look goddamn cool. And Tony Schiavone is in his glory doing his 1997 Nitro call of it. This was EPIC. Now hopefully he doesn’t wrestle and they sell a million shirts. Although this is why we need a vaccine so we can have crowds back.
Next week: Sting speaks and Tony is the first in line to talk to him. Plus the Lucha Brothers team up with Lance Archer to face the Butcher and Blade and Eddie Kingston and that’s gonna be awesome.
Meanwhile, Hikaru Shida isn’t afraid of some girl doing zombie cosplay. Fine, cool. Totally not afraid.
Meanwhile, Moxley promises to go out and “make them go banana” tonight. Awww. RIP Pat.
AEW World title: Jon Moxley v. Kenny Omega
We’ve got Don Callis on commentary again as they continue making this feel bigger and bigger. Moxley quickly goes for the choke and Omega makes the ropes, and they trade wristlocks before Omega gets a chinlock. Omega tries a headlock and Mox powers out of it and gets his own, but Omega puts him on the floor. He sets up the dive and gets cut off, and they fight on the floor as Omega runs him into the railing, but Moxley suplexes him on the floor and then runs him into the railing a few times and tosses him into the “front row”. We take a break and they continue the brawl on PIP. Back in the ring as we return with Omega taking out the knee on the way into the ring and then dropping Moxley’s knee on the railing outside. Back in, Omega with a springboard dropkick to the knee and the crusher for two. Omega works the leg in the corner, but charges and walks into a lariat. But then Omega rolls into a kneebar from the bottom and Moxley has to make the ropes. Omega keeps working the leg, but Moxley escapes You Can’t Escape with a pair of release germans. Moxley tries an exploder and Omega blocks, so Mox headbutts him and throws him with a suplex for two. Mox with a drop suplex for two. And we take another break for PIP as they slug it out on the mat. Moxley catches him in a crossface and rolls him over for two, and then goes to a chinlock before Omega makes the ropes. Kenny dumps Moxley and this time hits the Terminator Dive, but they head back in and Moxley hits the Paradigm Shift out of nowhere. However, he doesn’t want the pin and tosses some chairs into the ring, which he sets up for a little sit. Nothing like a good sit! The great equalizer! So that turns into a slugfest, but Omega pops out of his seat and hits a V-Trigger and snapdragon. Moxley won’t stay down, but Omega tries another V-Trigger and misses, and Moxley hits the monster lariat and Paradigm Shift for two. Omega bails and Moxley tries a dive, but Omega hits him with the V-Trigger from the floor and then dropkicks the shoulder on the way back in. Running knee to the back and Tiger Driver 98 gets two. Kenny hits him with knees, but Moxley catches it and fires back until he walks into a V-Trigger. One Winged Angel, but Moxley spins out and they trade reversals until Omega gets a dropkick. Another V-Trigger, but Moxley elbows out of the Angel and Omega has to roll him up for two. Kenny goes up, but Moxley chases him to the floor and they fight on the apron, before Moxley DDTs him into a heater at ringside. So the refs call off Moxley and check on Kenny, but Moxley throws him back in regardless and beats on him while Don Callis pleads for mercy. Moxley takes him out, but Omega grabs Don’s microphone and knocks Moxley out with it, busting him open. Kenny follows with the V-Triggers as the Gentleman’s Agreement is DEAD. Kenny keeps throwing V-Triggers as Moxley is out, and Kenny finally gets the One Winged Angel to win the AEW Title at 28:23. Yeah this was awesome. ****1/4 And Don Callis reveals his true colors, grabbing the title and sprinting for the limo with Kenny, as he was obviously the one who attacked Moxley, and announces that he and Omega will reveal all this Tuesday…on IMPACT WRESTLING.
DUN DUN DUN!
Now THAT was an ending! And I guess I’m watching Impact next week. Do we get it live in Canada? I don’t even know.
So this show certainly delivered I LOVED IT and crazy things are afoot in the wrestling world again. This felt like something out of the Monday Night Wars. AEW + NWA + Impact? Bring it on.