Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #397 (02/12/2000)

Hello You!

It’s the go-home show for Massacre on 34th Street today. Thankfully I’ve already reviewed that one before and the review is still somewhat readable, so I’ll post a link for it at the bottom of this review.

Thus far the only match announced is The FBI defending the tag belts against Danny Doring and Roadkill, so let’s see if we get the last minute hard sell on this show.

This week’s matches were taped from Poughkeepsie, New York (It’s the taping that never ends!)

Calling the action are Joey Styles and Joel Gertner

We open up with clips of Little Spike Dudley stupidly trying to attack Rhino last week, which went about as well for his as you’d expect.

Joey and Joel do the usual intro in the ring. Simon, Swinger and CW interrupt Joel Gertner’s dirty poem for some cheap heat, with Simon wanting him some of Joey. Joey and Joel swiftly bail, which leads to Christian York and Joey Matthews coming down to back them up. Joel also brings down Tommy Dreamer for good measure, seemingly burying the hatchet with him after years of feuding. Dreamer even does his own poem, saying that the match will be Falls Count Anywhere.

Opening Match
Falls Count Anywhere
Simon, Swinger and CW Anderson Vs Christian York, Joey Matthews and Tommy Dreamer w/ Joel Gertner

This one is all action, with them forgoing the tag formula and just having a big brawl and spot fest. It’s the sort of wild stuff that ECW was always best at, even with WCW and the WWF trying their own hands at it too once the Monday Night War really kicked in. We head into the crowd, where CW flings Dreamer off the bleachers, whilst York would appear to have been busted open whilst battling with Swinger in another part of the building. Tommy Dreamer gets dropped groin first onto the guardrails at one stage, because it’s a day of the week ending in a “y”, and CW adds a chair shot to bust him open for good measure.

Dreamer is pretty much wearing the crimson mask here, with most of his face covered. It’s almost like he’s wearing some gory Demoliton style face paint. There are a bunch of near falls, with York even getting to kick out of the Problem Solver. It looks like Joey Matthews has even bladed also. You know, making the pretty boy team bleed for the first time could have really worked in a Rock and Roll Express styled heavy heat angle, where they get beaten down by a heel team to build up to a pay off of some kind. Instead they’ve just had it happen in an impromptu match on TV with zero build up. Joel eventually pays dividend by distracting Simon, which allows Dreamer to dropkick a chair into Simon’s face. A DDT follows and Gertner gets to help make the pin.

WINNERS: DREAMER, YORK & MATTHEWS
RATING: ***

This was a good wild brawl, with some funny comedy at the end where Joel pretended to do the Kamala gag of not knowing which why up Simon had to be in order to make the pin.

CW chairs everyone in frustration following that and attacks Joel’s arm for good measure, locking in an arm bar. This was the typical ECW tactic of having the heels lose a match but then having them attack the faces afterward to get their heat back, which usually led to no one getting over properly.

Justin Credible and Francine have a very poorly mic’d conversation with Paul Heyman, where Credible makes the point that he wants to win the ECW Title so he can finally get back into Francine’s pants.

Joey recaps the ECW Title scene. Steve Corino beat Jerry Lynn via ref stoppage last week when Justin Credible caned him in the eye. That led to Sandman coming down to face Corino instead. Corino got battered for most of the match but was able to gut it out and pick up the last gasp win when all seemed lost. Corino will defend against both Lynn and Credible at Massacre on 34th Street.

Jasmine St. Claire interviews Blue Boy, but he’s more interested in giving Jasmine a bit of a spanking instead. Is this Blue Boy and Jasmine stuff actually going anywhere? I mean, is he going to feud with someone or have some kind of character development? He’s been in this gimmick since June and they’ve done positively nothing with it.

Simon, Swinger and CW cut a promo saying they don’t mind losing battles so long as they can win the war. CW once again reiterates that he will use Tommy Dreamer as a stepping stone.

Main Event
ECW TV Title
Champ: Rhino Vs Kid Kash

Doring and Roadkill cut a promo in the commentary area prior to this match starting, where they state they will split up if they don’t beat The FBI tomorrow. Even Roadkill is super intense with the one word he knows how to say. Rhino is definitely facing Spike on the pay per view, but if he loses here then it will be non-title. Meanwhile, CW Anderson will be facing Tommy Dreamer. Well, it took us until 40 minutes into the go-home show but we have something threatening to resemble a card for the pay per view finally.

The match is a bit of an afterthought due to Joey having to go into hard sell mode, but the action itself is fine, with Rhino mostly clobbering Kash for large stretches of it. Kash gets a few near falls and looks good on offence, but he ends up getting piledriven off the second rope and that’s not surprisingly enough for the win.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: RHINO
RATING: **

Decent TV match

It looks like Rhino is going to tabilise Kash following the match, but Little Spike Dudley comes down to prevent that and ends up hitting the Acid Drop to stand tall to hype up the pay per view match.

Mikey and Tajiri have a promo backstage, where they lay down the challenge for Super Crazy to find a tag partner for the pay per view.

Tommy Dreamer gives York and Matthews a pep-talk, saying they are going to end up like him if they keep going down this road. They say it’s about standing up for themselves and not allowing the heel trio to get up on them.

Final pay per view run-down
CW Anderson Vs Tommy Dreamer, Mikey and Tajiri Vs Crazy and the dreaded mystery partner, Rhino Vs Little Spike Dudley, The FBI Vs Doring and Roadkill, Corino Vs Credible Vs Lynn

From an in-ring perspective there should be some good matches there.

In Conclusion

This was all hard sell for the pay per view, and it didn’t especially make me want to watch it again. It just feels like too many storylines and characters are treading water right now, which is a symptom of the TNN deal ending as ECW clearly don’t want to do any big storyline developments when they only have a limited audience for Hardcore TV. Understandable though that is, it doesn’t really make the show all that exciting to watch.

If you want to read my previous review of Massacre on 34th Street you can do so by clicking HERE