The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 06.12.93
Taped from Halifax, NS. Yay, new taping cycle!
Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler & Randy Savage
The Steiner Brothers v. Iron Mike Sharpe & Ralph Leroux
I’ll say that the Halifax arena looks pretty impressive here compared to the dumps they’ve been running lately. Rick hits Iron Mike with a clothesline out of the corner and they bring in Leroux right away so that Scott can torture him with a dragon suplex before Rick runs him into the corner. Scott with the butterfly suplex and they finish with the elevated DDT at 2:30. Sharpe was very smart to tag out 10 seconds into the match.
UPDATE! WITH GORILLA MONSOON! BROUGHT TO YOU BY WWF ROYAL RUMBLE ON SUPER NINTENDO!
Big news this week! Shawn Michaels has already regained the Intercontinental title, winning the belt from Marty Jannetty in Albany with the help of an unnamed new bodyguard, who we’ll call “the bodyguard” for the moment. So this means that Crush now gets a shot at the title at King of the Ring. You’d think they’d have just done the damn title change at King of the Ring. And so Diesel makes his WWF debut, standing in the background in a stylish sweatsuit while Shawn does a promo.
Meanwhile, the 1-2-3 Kid reveals that Razor Ramon has now offered him $7500, which is more money than he’s ever had in his life! But despite all the bills he’s got to pay, he just can’t risk his own health and declines again.
Razor Ramon v. Bert Centino
Bret Hart pops up on the big screen to rub in the loss to the Kid, which is kind of a dick move on his part. So Ramon takes it out on the jobber, hitting him with the backdrop suplex off the middle rope and then finishes him off with the Razor’s Edge at 1:15. Lawler gets a funny line when he points out that as soon as Bret stopped leading the “1-2-3” chant, the crowd immediately forgot how to count that high.
FACE TO FACE! WITH SCHEME GENE!
Hacksaw Duggan isn’t scared of Bam Bam because he’s not a three year old kid! Also Luger shows off his scar where the steel plate has been implanted in his arm.
Hacksaw Duggan v. Mike Bell
The Halifax crowd is prompted to chant “USA” in a starting bit of propaganda put forth by Duggan, and he finishes Bell with the clothesline at 1:00.
Yokozuna joins Bonnie Blackstone for a special interview, and Mr. Fuji is now denying making any challenge to Hogan at Wrestlemania. Also, apparently Yoko is eating “30 pounds of rice and 50-70 pounds of fish, beef and chicken” every day. I suspect he’s exaggerating that a bit. Also it’ll be a holiday celebration in Japan when he wins the WWF title. Well not after Hogan went and buried the title in that press conference around this time.
The Undertaker v. PJ Walker
Yup, it’s the Understated Superstars Debut of Justin Credible! Taker slugs him down and chokes away in the corner, then finishes with a chokeslam and tombstone at 1:20. This brings out Giant Gonzalez to continue this dead feud, but Mr. Hughes sneaks in and beats up Paul Bearer, allowing Dr. Harvey to steal the urn for the first such angle. Hughes actually gives Taker some pretty nasty shots to the head with the urn, although why would you waste such a heavy heat angle on these goofs?
KING OF THE RING UPDATE! WITH SCHEME GENE! SPONSORED BY THE WWF HOTLINE!
Gene is SHOCKED AND APPALLED at the actions of the heels against the Undertaker, but the show must go on and he’s got a PPV to shill. We get words from Hulk Hogan and it’s the usual whatcha gonna do blah blah blah, and Gene proudly notes that it’s his first title defense in TWO MONTHS! Also, I guess THIS would be Hogan’s last appearance for the next 10 years, not last week.
Meanwhile, it’s almost time for MEN ON A MISSION. Even in his pre-taped debut rap effort, Oscar is completely incomprehensible.
Money Inc. v. Tony Roy & Buddy Lane
Lane manages a rollup on IRS for two, but Dibiase cuts him off and they double-team in the corner. Over to Roy, and Dibiase finishes him with the Dream at 1:39. But this brings out the Steiner Brothers, demanding a title shot TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING. But of course the champions decline, since there’s only 2:00 left in the show anyway, but the Steiners would win them at a house show a week later anyway.
FACE TO FACE! WITH SCHEME GENE!
And we finish off the show as Bret and Razor have words for each other building up their match at King of the Ring.
Next week: We find out what happened at the King of the Ring!
The Undertaker angle was pretty damn heavy but it was long fizzled by the time they actually blew it off.