Monday Night Raw – May 22, 2006

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 22, 2006
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Smackdown has gotten through its pay per view now so it’s time for Raw to get ready for something of its own. In theory at least, as the next show is ECW One Night Stand, which could go in a lot of directions. This show has been a lot better than Smackdown as of late though so hopefully they keep it up here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with HHH accidentally hitting Shane McMahon in the face with a sledgehammer.

Vince McMahon is looking rather serious and says Shane only survived because of superior conditioning and genetics. Tonight, HHH is apologizing and if it is anything less than severe, HHH will incur his wrath.

Here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to open things up with something covered up in the ring. Mick thanks the fans for their support in light of the strange circumstances over the last few weeks. Contrary to popular belief, he is not a bad guy. He’s the guy who sticks his thumb and says how great it is to be right here in Las Vegas. Except it isn’t, because he doesn’t like a city where you can change your life on a gamble.

People should earn it like he did, because he didn’t become a three time WWE Champion with a roll of a dice. Foley is like this man, so here are Edge and Lita. After kissing Lita’s hand again and is blown away by her lack of a shirt. Anyway, Foley talks about how great of a hardcore match they had and they embody the entire hardcore style instead of what ECW did. That’s why he is giving Edge his Hardcore Title, which was given to him in his retirement ceremony. Edge puts the belt on his shoulder but says he can’t accept it….because he has the hottest girl in Vegas going to bed with him tonight.

Edge talks about everything Foley did for hardcore wrestling and knows Foley should be champion. Foley takes a shot at Ric Flair for calling him a glorified stuntman and earning a Wrestlemania paycheck by not dying in a ladder match. With that out of the way, Foley suggests one more hardcore match tonight to crown the real champion. Edge has a better idea and has Lilian Garcia announce them as co-champions.

Cue Paul Heyman to say he knows it’s legal here, but he’s looking at live prostitution in the ring. He actually doesn’t mean Lita because Mick Foley is prostituting his legacy for Edge and Lita. Foley has prostituted his name and legacy but he isn’t prostituting the name of hardcore. Instead, Foley can tell us what it means to look in the mirror and see a shell of yourself. Foley says he sees a co-holder of the Hardcore Title and a living legend. He finds it ironic that Heyman is talking about someone being a shell of himself because Heyman has nothing.

Heyman says he has no power, but he can make a challenge for One Night Stand: Edge/Mick Foley vs. any two ECW guys Heyman can drag up. Foley tells him to get out so Heyman says Lita is the only one in the ring with any testicles. Lita grabs her crotch but Edge says the match is on. The two of them go after Heyman so here are the opponents for the save: Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk.

The fight is on and the villains run off from the threat of violence. We get the ECW theme to make it even better, after another step in a perfectly well done story. Dreamer fits in really well here (yeah I said it) and Funk is always game, so this has a lot of potential. The promos have been great too, with Heyman being the only person who could say those things and hang with Foley.

The Diva Search is back. Does it have to be?

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Van Dam is challenging and shoulders Benjamin down to start. A floatover suplex gives Rob two but Shelton elbows him in the face. The stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Shelton rolls to the floor and we take a break. Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but Rob fights up and gets two off a sunset flip. Shelton’s neckbreaker gets the same and we’re back in the chinlock with a bodyscissors.

Back up and Shelton misses a Stinger Splash, allowing Rob to start the clothesline comeback. A spinning kick to the face gets two and another rollup gives Rob the same. Now Rolling Thunder connects for another near fall but Shelton is back with a Samoan drop, which clips the referee’s leg. Shelton brings in the title, which is kicked into Shelton’s face with the Van Daminator…for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were having a nice match and the ending keeps Van Dam hot while keeping the title on Benjamin. That’s as logical of a move as they could have had and I’ll take that over Van Dam losing via cheating. That briefcase seems ready to go and it would make a lot of sense for an ECW wrestler to use that at an ECW show.

Post match Rob gives Shelton a Five Star to make the fans smile.

Vince McMahon is with ZZ Top when Candice Michelle comes in. They seem impressed with her homemade pearl necklace.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Here’s Vince McMahon for a chat. He wastes no time in demanding that HHH get out here right now for the apology. After a few moments, here’s a serious looking HHH. Vince reminds HHH of what Shawn Michaels said to him a few months back, when Shawn told him to move on. HHH might want to remember what happened to Shawn since then before he gets to his apology.

Vince wants him to say two words, so HHH has two words for him: I’m sorry. Those are the right words, but there’s one more thing: HHH has to crush Shawn’s skull with a sledgehammer after the Spirit Squad beats Shawn tonight. HHH shakes his hand and says they have an understanding. Sounds shenanigansy.

Another look at See No Evil. At least it’s in theaters now so we can start getting away from these videos.

Kane says May 19 was the date that his family was killed in a fire but now he can no longer block all the pain. Now he has a movie out where he kills a lot of people and now he gets to let out some anger tonight. He’s never been better.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Masters punches away to start but gets slammed and elbowed for two. It’s too early for the FU and Masters blasts him with a clothesline to the floor. Back in and the delayed suplex gets two as we have some pro Cena chants. Cena blocks the Masterlock attempt and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena slugging away and hitting some clotheslines. The STFU makes Master tap in a hurry, with the post break stuff barely lasting thirty seconds.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here but was anyone doubting Cena’s chances against Masters? There is only so much you can get out of Masters in a main event roll because he is a one move wrestler. Cena barely broke a sweat here and that’s how it was supposed to go.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to say sup champ. He forced his way into this spot so now he wants his title shot in a place where he isn’t likely to get screwed. Like at One Night Stand. Cena is stunned by this for some reason and the fight is on. Masters tries to jump Cena and is quickly dispatched, allowing Van Dam to use the briefcase for a Van Daminator.

Carlito tries to get Maria to help him cheat in poker. They run into Snitsky, who is trying to hook up with a Las Vegas showgirl. He goes over to talk about her feet and offers her Chinese food and See No Evil. It’s Goldust for your gag of the night, which Carlito dubs “not cool”.

Shawn Michaels wants to know what HHH is thinking. He always respected HHH (oh here we go) but HHH sold his soul to the devil out there. Glaring ensues.

Trevor Murdoch thinks Tom Hanks will get an Oscar nomination over Kane. I think you know where this is going.

Kane vs. Trevor Murdoch

Chokeslam finishes in less than a minute.

The fans request and receive another chokeslam, with Kane adding a third for fun. The fire comes out of the posts….and Kane’s mask is on the screen. In what shouldn’t be a shock, the mask starts talking, saying this started on May 19 and will never be over.

This Week In Wrestling History: Scott Hall jumps the barricade. Again, not on the Network for some reason.

Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Torrie has new music. Mickie drives her into the corner to start but Torrie is back with a rollup. The swinging neckbreaker gets two on Mickie and they mistime a hot shot. Mickie hammers away and finishes with the MickieDT before it can get worse.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to say Beth Phoenix is now part of the roster. Beth jumps Mickie at ringside and the chase is on through the crowd.

Here’s Viscera to say it’s time to settle down….with Lilian Garcia. Lilian gets in the ring and cuts Viscera off, saying he dumped her for Godfather’s ladies the last time they were in Vegas. Viscera has something for her here though: a cheeseburger. See, if they get married in a chapel tonight, she can cook for him every day so he doesn’t have to eat cheeseburgers every day. He drops to a knee but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Viscera has a little problem, so here’s Umaga for the brawl, with Viscera being crushed against the post. The beating continues until the Samoan Spike leaves Viscera laying.

Another See No Evil video.

The Spirit Squad tells HHH to stay in the back until they give him a signal. Those are Vince’s orders, and HHH doesn’t seem thrilled.

WATCH ONE NIGHT STAND!

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title and it’s a big pop for Shawn, who comes to the ring with a chair. Hang on though as here’s Vince to say we won’t need a referee or that chair either. The referee takes it away and leaves as the Squad comes in to start the fight in a hurry. The Upsa Daisy plants Shawn and the series of moonsaults has Vince rather pleased on the stage.

There’s a double suplex and a lot of stomping, plus a big running clothesline in the corner (with the Squad providing a double step up). Hold on though as Shawn gets in a few shots before grabbing the chair to even things up a bit. The top rope elbow connects on Mikey and there’s Sweet Chin Music to make it worse. Nicky chairs Shawn’s knee out though and they rip the gear off of his leg.

The fans chant for HHH as the knee brace is taken off. Kenny Pillmanizes the leg with a top rope legdrop so NOW Vince calls HHH down to the ring. Cue HHH with the sledgehammer but Kenny takes it away because he wants to do it. HHH steps in front of him and beats the Squad down himself as we have a face turn (or at least most of one) to end the show.

Rating: D. There wasn’t a ref and there wasn’t an ending so I don’t think you can really call this a match, but the bell did ring. This was more of the same with Vince stacking the deck but this time they changed it up a bit, which is a good way to mix it up. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and it was only a match in the loosest sense of the word anyway.

Overall Rating: B. This show is nailing it as of late as they are doing almost everything you could want in two hours. There are new people being introduced and developed, an interesting main event, some good action and One Night Stand is looking promising. The biggest issue is having too much See No Evil stuff, but I can forgive that well enough. Rather good show here as Raw’s roll continues.

 

 

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