Monday Night Raw
Date: April 10, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman
We’re on the way to Backlash and one of the bigger matches has already been set up. That would be Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God as the feud has officially gone on both too long and off the rails. I’m not sure what to expect tonight, but the pay per view card needs some building with less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.
Here are Edge and Lita to get things going, complete with a graphic announcing Edge vs. HHH vs. John Cena for the World Title at Backlash. So there’s your fast build. Edge says he’s back in the title hunt and announces the match for the fans. He must be the favorite because he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania or last night so the fans need to start appreciating him. Look no further because the champ is here. Cue John Cena to thank Edge for the introduction because now THE CHAMP IS HERE.
Cena says Edge was indeed the most watched WWE Champion in five years but he was champion for two weeks. The first week people wanted to see who beat John Cena and the second week people wanted to see Cena beat him up. As for tonight, Cena wants to fight but Edge hides behind Lita, saying Cena actually cares about what the fans think. Why is Cena always trying to please them? Unless they are under the age of seven, they don’t care about him.
Cena admits there is some unrest out there because these people know him. They remember him as he was and people want to see the evil side of him come out again. Cena: “Pompous, crass, a little bit sexual.” After the high pitched pop, Cena looks at the fans and says he’ll call them later. Cena knows some fans want to have him say they suck, but it just isn’t his way. If everyone bowed down to him, he would probably get some ego problem with his nose in the air and call himself something like the King of Kings.
Cue HHH to laugh off the idea that Cena doesn’t want to be HHH because no one could ever make that mistake. HHH has to pause for the YOU TAPPED OUT chants but he doesn’t care what they say. Everyone here respects him because he has done a bunch of things. Cena says he doesn’t like HHH but he does respect him so maybe he should learn something from him. Like don’t make the same mistake twice. Last week he was Pedigreed and pinned so would HHH like to try it again?
Cena is ready to fight but Edge cuts them off saying he was the star of Wrestlemania and now they’re trying to leave him behind again. HHH: “Are you done now?” He brings up the times he beat up Foley six years ago and how we’ll see Foley again because he’s always back. As for tonight, HHH has been talking to Vince McMahon, which will see Edge in a handicap match against the two of them. An annoyed Edge storms off to wrap up a pretty long opening segment. Wait not so fast as HHH teases attacking Cena but then extends his hand. Cena slaps him in the face and then leaves.
Rob Van Dam vs. Rob Conway
Conway is shaken up as HHH beat him down on the way to the ring. Shelton Benjamin comes out to join commentary, allowing Conway to get in a cheap shot from behind. Rob kicks Conway out to the floor and hits the spinning kick to the back. Shelton challenges Rob for a match for the briefcase at Backlash as Rob hits the top rope kick to the face and the Five Star for the quick pin.
Post match Van Dam is asked about the challenge and says he isn’t putting up the briefcase at Backlash. Now if Shelton is interested in putting up the Intercontinental Title, we might be onto something. Shelton can have a week to think about it.
Mickie James, with shorter and blonder hair (looking rather like Trish’s), talks about how this has been her greatest Wrestlemania by far. She can’t wait to go back to Toronto to celebrate but Maria points out that Trish is from Toronto. This earns Maria a title shot later tonight, but she’s a little scared because Mickie is, you know, a psycho.
We see a clip from See No Evil. After the clip, Kane isn’t here for an interview so we’ll try again later. This is edited off of the Network.
Post break, Kane is wandering through the back and we hear voices, presumably in Kane’s head, talking about May 19 and how everyone will know.
Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Big Show/Kane
Kane and Show are challenging. Johnny and Nick are defending for the champs so Show sends Johnny into the corner for the big chop to start. There’s a slam to put Johnny down again and it’s off to Kane for a chop of his own. Johnny gets sent into the corner so Nicky tries his luck, with Johnny having to make his own save. Nicky dropkicks Johnny onto Kane for two but Show comes in for a headbutt. Show throws Johnny onto the rest of the team for a crash and we take a break.
Back with Nicky coming back in and Kenny getting in a cheap shot from the floor to keep Kane in trouble. A distraction makes Show give chase around the ring, allowing Nicky to work on Kane’s leg. Johnny’s missile dropkick to the back gets two but Kane sits up, freaking the champs out. They head outside with Kane wrecking the team and then throwing a bunch of chairs in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Not terrible but fairly boring here as they go with the storyline ending rather than more of a traditional finish. Kane going insane is something that shouldn’t surprise many people and could lead to something…well probably not good but it’s likely to be different. At least they didn’t switch the titles back in a bad move.
Post match Kane destroys the Spirit Squad and the referee so Show tries to calm him down. That earns Show a chokeslam of his own and Kane leaves on his own.
John Cena is ready to team with HHH tonight but will take him out if he has to.
Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon went to church earlier today and Vince was annoyed that he couldn’t make a donation with a credit card. Then he uses holy water to do a HHH spit and compares himself to God, because creating Adam and Eve is equal to creating Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels. God casts out demons and he cast Ted Turner out of wrestling. Vince even has his own commandments:
1. I am the boss.
2. There are no other bosses before me.
3. Thou shalt not tell me to move on.
4. Thou shall not take thy urine and douse it into my face.
5. Thy shall not cross thy arms and shout SUCK IT.
6. Thy shall not take my disciple’s face and shove it into my rectal cavity.
7. Thy shall not take a garbage can and shove it over my head and fall from a thirty foot ladder and try to take me out.
Vince says even God cannot protect Shawn Michaels at Backlash. Shane reads a version of the Lord’s Prayer (Vince’s semen is mentioned) and Vince promises to unleash the apocalypse on him. If he’s lying, may God strike him down right here. As Shane steps to the side, Vince praises his own name. I’m going to guess that this got them some letters.
Umaga vs. Chris Guy
Guy is better known as Colt Cabana. Umaga sends him into the corner to start and hits the middle rope headbutt. A thumb into the side of the neck finishes Guy in a hurry.
Carlito talks about how he got rid of 275lbs of dead weight last week. He isn’t happy with Chris Masters so here is Masters in person. Masters talks about how they have stabbed each other in the back several times and suggests that he screwed Carlito (and himself) out of the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania on purpose. Carlito thinks that’s as stupid as the Masterlock, so let’s have a Masterlock Challenge right now. Masters goes for it and gets chaired down. Maybe he is that stupid.
We look at Chavo Guerrero dedicating his Intercontinental Title shot to Eddie Guerrero, losing, and quitting. Next week: Jim Ross has an exclusive interview with Chavo.
Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maria
Mickie is defending and looks very Trishesque. Commentary is eating Subway, with Coach taking Joey’s. Maria rolls her up for a fast two so Mickie gets annoyed and kicks her in the ribs. A middle rope ax handle misses but Mickie is right back with a backbreaker. The Mick Kick retains the title in a hurry.
Post match here’s Trish….as Mickie James. Trish does the really excited Mickie impression and kisses Mickie, who bails with what seems to be a blown mind.
John Cena/HHH vs. Edge
Lita is here too of course and Edge jumps Cena from behind to start. Edge stomps away but walks into a belly to belly for two. Lita’s distraction lets Edge get in another shot to take over but Cena grabs the fisherman’s suplex for two. HHH tags himself in to annoy Cena and unloads on Edge in the corner. Lita gets up on the ropes and leans forward to distract HHH though, allowing Edge to send him into the steps.
Back in and the Edge-O-Matic gets two and Edge hammers away in the corner until an atomic drop slows him down. There’s the facebuster but Edge grabs a DDT to put them both down. HHH gets over for the tag to Cena and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. HHH breaks up the FU though and hits the Pedigree on Edge. Cena hits the FU on HHH and grabs the STFU to make Edge tap.
Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but that makes things more interesting in this case. There is no point in pretending that this match mattered as anything more than mind games and they didn’t bother to here. That’s an interesting way to go for a feud like this and I’m curious to see how it works.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that Backlash is going to be a two match show and only one of those was built up well this week. The Vince vs. Shawn stuff is a little difficult to watch and things are probably only going to get worse. The triple threat is looking cool though and that’s what matters most in the end. As for the rest of the show, what else were you expecting for a bunch of stuff that is going to serve as Backlash filler at best?
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