The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.12.20

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.12.20

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Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross & Taz.  And there’s FANS tonight.

The Young Bucks v. Evil Uno & Stu Grayson

The assorted Dark Order geeks attack the Bucks during their entrance, allowing the main guys to take over on Nick at the bell. The creepers swarm Nick on the floor, but Matt dives on them from the ramp, and then gets all fired up and distracted and he too gets attacked.  Back in the ring, Uno slams Nick and Stu gets two off that.  Both Dark Order miss charges in the corner and Nick flips over for the tag to Matt, who comes in with a double crossbody and runs wild.  Double clothesline and the Bucks double-team Stu and then hit Uno with a double-team neckbreaker.  Stu does his own flips to evade the Bucks and Matt gets suckered into a german suplex from Uno and a legdrop gets two.  Grayson chokes Matt out on the ropes and Uno tries to choke him out with the wrist tape, but the ref steals it to foil him.  Grayson dropkicks Matt to the floor and Uno runs him into the apron, which gets two for Stu.  Matt tries to slug it out with Uno but gets thumbed in the eye and tripped up by Grayson from outside.  Matt sends Stu into the ringpost and tries to go under the ring and find his corner, but Uno is still faster and cuts him off for more punishment.  Matt finally hits a spear on Uno, but turns his head at the wrong time and gets booted down.  He fights back one more time with a reverse rana and it’s hot tag Nick.  Nick with the slingshot facebuster and he moonsaults Grayson on the floor, and we get some superkicks, although it’s not quite a party yet.  Back in, the Risky Business gets two on Uno.  Nick comes in with a swanton on Uno for two, but he’s in the ropes.  Dark Order regroups with the cannonball and 450 combo, and Stu gets two on Nick from that.  Uno hits a brainbuster on Nick for two, and Matt goes to check on his brother and gets clobbered by Grayson as a result.  So the Order hauls him back to the entrance for a beating and tries the finisher on Nick, but he rolls up Uno for the surprise pin at 12:39.  Solid action to start, although Uno seemed like he was on a different page at times early on.  ***1/4

Meanwhile, MJF surveils his troops and continues his abuse of Lee Johnson.

Meanwhile, Kenny and Hangman offer their thoughts on their all time favorite tag team.  Kenny says the Young Bucks, but Hangman says themselves.

MJF is here on the campaign trail again and DAMMIT NINA’S NOT SMILING AGAIN.  So the latest polling results show MJF up on Moxley, 500% to -1000%.  And again, if “Dictator Jon” cared about the people, he’d be here tonight.  But MJF is here, always, and that’s a PROMISE.  Could Dictator Jon be afraid of change and specifically MJF?  Perhaps.  Or maybe he’s not used to dealing with a wrestler who won’t “look up at the lights for him.”  So MJF lays down on the mat to make him more comfortable.  Jon’s not a leader, he’s a rabid dog chasing cars, who wouldn’t know what to do with one if he caught it.  So maybe he should give the car keys to MJF.  This brings out Moxley, as MJF freaks out and sends his crew to the various entrances because that’s where he comes from.  But then Moxley just comes out of the entrance and completely destroys MJF with the Paradigm Shift before walking off again.  But they’re not even until All Out, which by the way is September 5.  And of course MJF cries and whines like a baby about his neck injury afterwards because he’s all talk.  So simple and effective if you don’t overthink this stuff.

Meanwhile, Matthew Hardy is unable to return for 10 days due to all the blood last week, which coincides with the next Dynamite, which is on a Saturday because of NBA.  And then he’s so nuts with rage that he attacks referee Mike Posey because he looked like Sammy from behind.  He’s just a referee, he’s not worth it!

TNT title:  Cody Rhodes v. Scorpio Sky

Sky has a new entrance and theme song, where he literally kicks down a door on the way to the ring.  And Cody debuts his brand new finished title belt, which is pretty sexy.  Brandi has one of her own action figures with her, probably because people who work for the company are the only ones who can find the damn things anywhere.  That product launch was a bit of a debacle, to say the least.  Cody’s impending heel turn is starting to get more obvious, as he now has a giant entourage with him.  And Mike Chioda got rescued from the WWE cuts, too!  Sky chases Cody out of the ring to start, and they flex on each other before Cody hiptosses him out of the ring.  Cody offers him a free trip back into the ring, but Sky declines and slugs away on him.  Cody takes him to the floor with a Cactus clothesline and they slug it out on the floor, but they both beat the count back in.  Sky pounds him with knees in the corner, but Cody powerslams him for two as we take a break.  Back with Cody tying him up in a bow and arrow, but Sky reverses for two.  Cody rolls him up for two, but walks into a stungun and Sky takes over.  Cody gets hung in the Tree of Woe and Sky runs the ribs into the post to continue that ongoing storyline.  This sets up the abdominal stretch, but Cody biels out of that.  He sets up a springboard from the ramp, but Sky slingshots into a cutter on the ramp and that gets two.  Sky tries a suplex and his back gives out, so Cody puts him on the top rope for a superplex, and Sky cradles for two on the landing.  Scorpio tries the TKO, but Cody reverses into Crossroads for two.  Cody tries a tombstone and they reverse off that, but Sky hits a Paydirt for two.  Scorpio tries another, but Cody grabs the ropes to block and finishes with the Crossroads at 12:23.  Well he wasn’t gonna lose this one, he just got a new belt!  ***1/2  Scorpio continues to look like a star, but tonight wasn’t his night yet.  But then Mr. Brodie Lee interrupts on the big screen and challenges Cody for the Saturday Dynamite show, where he will win the brand new belt and give Cody his busted old one back.  That’s cold.

Meanwhile, Private Party chooses the Hardy Boyz as their favorite tag team.

AEW World tag team title:  Kenny Omega & Hangman Page v. Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus

Page “needs to borrow money for a new lawnmower” this week.  I’ve been there, man.  Marko tries to get involved and Kenny smacks him around a bit, and even the announcers concede that he needs to get lost.  JB trips up Kenny and rolls him up for two, then takes him down and into the armbar.  He gets the springboard wristlock takedown and dropkicks Omega for two, and Luchasaurus comes in for a double-team and gets two.  Kenny slugs out of the corner and they trade chops, but Jungle Boy tags in with a swanton for two.  Kenny decides to make his own comeback and pounds on Jungle Boy, but Hangman tags himself in and comes in with a seated clothesline on JB for two.  Snap suplex gets two.  The champs double-team Jungle in the corner with chops, but JB fights back with his own, but he tries the springboard wristlock and gets dumped by Hangman, who follows with a dive as we take a break.  Back with Luchasaurus making a comeback with a chokeslam on Page and a moonsault for two.  They keep cutting to Frankie Kazarian in the audience watching, so that’s obviously setting up something for the Saturday show.  Kenny comes back with the snapdragon on Luchasaurus (on the second try) and then he goes outside and hits that little shit Marko with one as well.  Jungle Boy dives onto Kenny, but he takes a snapdragon on the floor as well.  Back in, Omega with a brainbuster on Luchasaurus for two.  The champs pile the Jurassic Express in the corner and hit them with corner clotheslines, and then Kenny blocks a rana from Jungle Boy with a powerbomb into a Hangman german suplex.  Luchasaurus chokeslams the champs and Jungle Boy hits Page with a tornado DDT, which sets a death valley drive from Luchasaurus for two.  Jungle Boy with a rolling elbow for two, but Omega makes the save.  Luchasaurus gets dumped and Page powerbombs Jungle Boy onto him outside, and Kenny follows with a dive onto them.  Back in, Page gives JB a powerbomb with extra power for two and they hit the Last Call to finish him at 14:12.  The Elite were pretty far out of the Jurassics’ orbit and really exposed them here, especially Luchasaurus.  Still a good match, though.  ***1/4

Meanwhile, LAX vandalizes the Best Friends’ gear in the shower.  With bleach!

And now it’s Tag Team Appreciation Night!  The Young Bucks and FTR are joined by Tully & Arn and the Rock N Roll Express.  The Bucks put the RnR over for inspiring all their favorite tag teams and themselves, and FTR pays tribute to the Horsemen.  And Ricky puts over the Bucks, and so does Arn.  But then Tully is sick of everyone yapping and tells off the Rock n Rolls, then points out that all the teams are LOSERS because none of them have the tag team titles.  Arn’s like “Hey, simmer down” and Tully gives him a piece of his mind as well and he doesn’t understand the Cody deal.  This brings out Shawn Spears, so Ricky slaps Tully and a donnybrook is threatened, which results in Dax Harwood collapsing from a buckled knee.  And then when the Rock N Roll turn around, FTR pops up and attacks them, hitting Ricky with a spike piledriver!  So apparently they are done slapping hands and kissing babies.  Now it’s time to slap some babies.  Seemed like they could have done more with the talent involved here, but Ricky Morton getting beaten like a drum is always entertaining.

Meanwhile, Alex Marvez tries to interview Mike Chioda, but LE CHAMPION interrupts because he wants Mike to referee his match against Orange Cassidy tonight.  And he wants Mike to DO THE RIGHT THING.  Wink, wink.  And maybe he’ll get a job out of the deal.  Wink wink.  Chioda seems confused by this.

Hikaru Shida v. Hilla Monroe

Monroe tries a sneak attack but gets beat up and pounded out.  Shida misses a charge and Monroe elbows her down for two.  Shida pounds her with forearms, but Monroe gets a surprise rollup for two to reverse the falcon arrow.  So Shida wraps her up with a horse collar to tap her out at 2:00 instead.  Good little showing from Monroe, although her gear was so pink that it threatened to blow out the color balance on my TV.

Meanwhile, Jake Roberts cuts a promo on behalf of Lance Archer, who beats up some poor geeks in the background and reminds us that Everybody Dies.

Next week:  FTR v. Private Party!  The Elite v. Dark Order!  The Deadly Draw finale!  Darby Allian!  Lucha Brothers & Butcher & Blade v. Jurassic Express & Natural Nightmares!  Cody v. Brodie!

$7000 Obligation Match:  Chris Jericho v. Orange Cassidy

Orange goes for the pockets right away, but Jericho attacks, so they trade fisticuffs in the corner and Orange wins that one.  He puts Jericho on the floor with a clothesline and follows with a dive, then runs Jericho into the barricades and goes up for the dive with his hands in his pockets.  Back in, he goes up with a leaping DDT for two.  Orange loads up the superman punch, but Jericho boots him in the face and he’s out.  Jericho takes over with a back suplex and chops away on him, then follows with the springboard dropkick off the apron.  And we take a break, and return with Jericho hitting a very delayed suplex.  The blood is meandering to his head!  That gets two.  Jericho smacks him around and follows with the Lionsault for two.  Orange fights back with his “chops”, but then fires up for real and puts Jericho down with a lariat.  Orange to the top with a flying bodypress for two and takes him down with a dragon screw to work the knee, but he tries a rana and Jericho blocks him with the Walls of Jericho.  Orange threatens to tap, but reverses Jericho for two.  Cassidy with the anklelock and he fights back with a stunner, but Jericho catches him with a codebreaker for two.  He retrieves the baseball bat and tells Chioda to get lost, but Orange rolls him up for two and hits a Michinoku Driver for two.  Orange with the PK and he follows with the superman punch, but the Inner Circle runs in and Hager powerslams Orange behind the ref’s back.  Jericho gets two from that.  They slug it out from their knees, but Jericho goes low, so Orange wraps him up with a cradle and gets the pin at 14:20!   Tremendous entertainment to wrap up the show.  ***1/2

Second great episode in a row, and hopefully the Saturday show can maintain the momentum.  What a fun show this was, and it just makes me so happy to watch it.