The Thursday Night Prime Time Chat Thread: August 6, 2020

(Author’s Note: I’m mixing up the intro this week.  For those who don’t care, skip it and go straight to the comments.  The rest of you?  See you after the jump.)

“Hello, and welcome everyone as we look at the world of professional wrestling for this Thursday night.  Brain, a lot of things going on out there.”

“Yeah, I noticed there’s a lot of things going down in catering, too.  But now that you’re back at the desk I expect that to stop.”

“Earlier this week, we found out Marty Jannetty may have killed a man, and now he’s just saying he disappeared.  Who is he fooling, Brain?”

“Hey, maybe he has David Copperfield on speed dial!  Maybe Marty is a magician!  How else could he jump through a barbershop window?”

“You know the answer to that.  And you probably also know the answer to Adam Cole’s question about what hit him.”

“Yeah, some touch football player tried to rough him up.  He’s gonna learn the hard way that Adam Cole’s tough as nails.”

“It could be a successful debut for Pat McAfee against the leader of the Undisputed ERA at TakeOver.  Of course, that’s assuming he accepts the challenge.”

“C’mon, Gorilla, he’s a punter!  They’re scared of contact!”

“You need to do your research.  Folks, if you’re in New Jersey this weekend, there’s a special double-header by ICW New York, as they doing No Holds Barred on both Friday and Saturday!  The big main event there on the Saturday show is Mexican sensation Pagano facing Alex Colon in a deathmatch!”

“A deathmatch?  The Undertaker’s refereeing?”

“It’s just a fancy term for no disqualification and no countout, Brain.”

“Oh!  I could do that!  Let me into the match, I’ll win easily!”

“Well, with no disqualifications, these matches often feature things like fluorescent light bulbs, barbed wire, and setting things on fire.”

“I just remembered, I have a date that night.”

“I thought so.  Folks, we’re about to go to the ring for our featured bout, as future NXT star Anthony Greene squares off against Kenn Doane, formerly of the Spirit Squad.”

“…Hey, Monsoon, those two cheerleaders in the corner.  Does Kenny have a fan club?”

“Those cheerleaders are there for Greene, Bobby.  They are his Platinum Hunnies!”

“Oh, for a second I thought the Rosatti Sisters had children.”

“You need to see your oculist.”

“Nothing wrong with my feet, Monsoon.”

“…let’s go to the ring.”

(Thanks for reading!  Bring the insanity!)