The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 06.20.92

The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 06.20.92

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Dusty Rhodes.  Brought to you by Jolly Rancher Candy!

Tonight’s main event is Barry Windham defending the TV title against Steve Austin, but they literally told us, in the COLD OPEN, that Austin had won the title in tonight’s match!  Why would you even do that?

Johnny B. Badd v. Richard Morton

Johnny does an inset promo informing us that he’s going for the light heavyweight title, because when he gets in the ring, “he don’t sit down, he get down”.  Well I guess that qualifies him for a title shot then.  Badd gets a hiptoss and takes him down with an armdrag before backdropping Morton out of the corner.  Morton tries a rollup, but Badd punches him out to block it and pins him at 2:15.  Neither guy was particularly doing much at this point.

The Steiner Brothers v. Bob Cook & John Peterson

Scott hits Cook with a belly to belly and it’s over Peterson, as Rick comes in and ties him up in knots on the mat.  Back to Cook, but Scott finishes him with the Frankensteiner at 1:29.  I don’t know if it’s Watts mandating the super-short squashes or just because both last week and this week are shorter shows because of baseball, but I don’t actually like it.

Dusty Rhodes has heard that Gordy and Williams think they’re better than the Steiners, but HOO, he don’t believe it, baby!  The Steiners stress that they’re American through and through and unafraid of people from Japan.

Cactus Jack v. Scott Allen

Jack stomps this geek down in the corner and dropkicks him to the floor.  The hard CONCRETE floor, with no pretty blue mats.  Thankfully Cactus doesn’t drop an elbow on him out there, and instead suplexes him back inside for two.  Jack slugs away and drops a leg, then finishes him off with the DDT at 1:54.  And THEN he tosses the guy out to the floor and drops the elbow on him.

WCW MAGAZINE UPDATE!  WITH ERIC BISCHOFF!

Let us take you back to last week, as Jack smashes his own head into a crate to demonstrate what’ll happen to Sting’s ribs, knocking himself silly in the process.  Really got his bell rung there, as Watts would no doubt say.  Meanwhile, Madusa offers Nikita Koloff a place in the Dangerous Alliance, and he wants no part of it, but would like to win Rick Rude’s US title.  Well that feud went pretty badly for him as it turned out.

We return to the ring, as the jobber who took the elbow from Jack is still out on the concrete, as no one stops to ask “Maybe it’s not such a good thing to have the mats taken away?”

World TV title:  Barry Windham v. Steve Austin

We’re joined in progress from Worldwide Wrestling, with Barry hitting a belly to belly suplex and beating on Austin in the corner.  Austin backdrops out of a piledriver attempt and gets two, but misses a blind charge and hits the post.  They slug it out and Windham gets a kneelift for two.  Barry tries the lariat but the timing is off and he hits a forearm instead and drops a leg for the apparent pin.  But Paul E puts Austin’s foot on the ropes, so the ref restarts the match.  Windham goes for a superplex, but Paul E gets involved again to distract him, and Austin grabs the TV title and nails him for the pin and the title at 3:43 aired.  Austin clearly didn’t have a TV title there, it looked more like a tag team title.

NWA WORLD TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT PREVIEW – FINALE!

The Puerto Rican team is such a mysterious threat that they don’t even have a picture of them to show!  Every match is gonna be great according to them!  And all so intriguing!  This totally won’t be the lowest rated Clash of all time or anything!

Dusty Rhodes has Arn Anderson with him, and AA is focused on Sting’s World title from now on.  Good luck with that.  NO MORE TAG TEAMS, at any rate.  Arn’s strategy is to make Sting bleed, because anything that bleeds, he can beat.

Greg Valentine v. The Z-Man

Of course, given the importance of this clearly main event level match, Senior Miserable Fuck Referee Ole Anderson is the man in charge.  Zenk works the arm and gets a crossbody for two, then goes back to the arm again while the Taylor Made Rooster does color commentary and apparently he’s facing Dustin Rhodes in our main event next week.  Goodie.  Really giving us the hard sell here.  Zenk works the arm on the mat, since he can’t come off the top rope now.  How can they possibly sell this as a good thing?  We take a break and return with Hammer hitting him with chops in the corner and a butterfly suplex for two.  He tries a suplex but Zenk reverses to his own for two.  Apparently this boring match is supposed to make us want to rush out and order Beach Blast.  Valentine with a shoulderbreaker for two and they work a knucklelock on the mat, but Zenk gets a backslide for two.  Greg with a backbreaker and he goes up for a middle rope elbow, but that misses and Zenk makes the comeback.  Dropkick, but Valentine is in the ropes, so Zenk charges and hits the floor, hurting his knee on the CONCRETE FLOOR.  No pretty blue mats out there, sir!  Back in, Valentine with the figure-four, but he grabs he ropes and gets caught by Senior Miserable Fuck Ole Anderson.  Another try, but Zenk cradles for two.  And then Valentine hits him with a forearm and pins him at 12:28.  Jesus this sucked.  DUD

This was a pretty abysmal show that really did nothing to sell us on either Beach Blast or the Clash.  Not to mention that we’re two weeks into the LAW & ORDER of Bill Watts and they’ve done nothing to show why coming off the top rope is a DQ, or even done anything to enforce those rules in the first place!  Like, yay, Ole Anderson is a shitty referee, but why is he any better than any of the other nameless interchangeable referees?

Hot take:  The Bill Watts regime is NOT a good look so far.