Jesse Baker on Dexter Lumis

Since the blog has gone to pots since I got banned from posting, I thought I might send you something to bring the hits your way
In defense of Dexter Lumis (and what NXT must become to win the Wednesday Night War):


1. He’s got a great look, especially compared to generic drone look that 99% of the roster on NXT have. The average fan, let alone casual, probably can’t tell 99% of the NXT roster apart. They are literal identical drones, looking like they were mass produced robots ala the henchmen bots from Halloween 3. Dexter stands out and more to the point, doesn’t look like yet another ROH vanilla midget type that are so fucking interchangeable that they might as well be wearing the same outfits Monarch has his henchmen wear on Venture Brothers. The hair, the mustache, the gloves, his thousand yard stare…. the sort of thing that makes him stand out and make people pay attention to him.

2. He’s filling a much needed niche of monster guy who can go back and forth from silly to deadly. Karion Kross can be the big bad serial killer gimmick, so Dexter (who’s been around long enough) can be the new tweener monster, the same way Kane and Big Show do. Now they haven’t had Dexter go full slapstick yet, but he’s doing good straddling the line between good and evil and goofy and deadly. And that’s needed, since it lets Dexter/Karion coexist without stepping on each other’s toes.

3. They are playing to Dexter’s strengths. He’s a quiet guy, drawing an aura of mystery and menace to him while keeping him relatable with his mancrush on Velveteen Dream and his desire to punish the villainous Undisputed Era. And they aren’t trying to make him a flippy flop guy; playing to his strengths while downplaying the more unique stuff he can do for the time being (the sliding and the BDSM pup play style crawling). And they are explicitly playing up the autism/Asperger angle as a means to make Dexter stand out and allow him and Karion to coexist (Karion’s psycho crazy, Dexter’s more socially awkward but means well)
4. He’s managed to give Roderick Strong an actual god-damn character arc beyond being a bland, voiceless, faceless vanilla midget henchman. Given that the Undisputed Era are everything Kevin Nash warned about when he created the term vanilla midgets (personalityless, voiceless, interchangeable drones who can’t carry a company to save their lives), why fucking hate on that? I mean, that’s like saying Chris Jericho should be nailed to the cross, doses in gasoline, and burned as a heretic because he pushed Dean Malenko over the top during their legendary feud in WCW because he actually gave Dean an arc and a character and a rival who fucked with him and made people care about him!

4. Finally, to mangle and pervert a line Anthony Hopkins from Westworld, Dexter Lumis is what NXT must become if are to have any hope to defeat AEW. There’s a god-damn fucking reason WHY Orange Cassidy and MJF are the Big Guns of AEW and why Kenny Omega and the Bucks/Paige are the freaking Gypsy, Steel, and Vibe of the company in the eyes of normies and casual fans. NXT being the Justice League Detroit, the Excalibur, the Team fucking Youngblood of wrestling means they will NEVER fucking beat AEW. Hell, Ring of Honor still fucking exists and if you want vanilla midget city you can still watch them for fuck’s sake.

NXT needs larger than life people with an ability to connect with people and who are not just another in a long line of Stradford-On-Guy vanilla drones. Adam Cole, Tommaso Ciampa, Johnny Gargona, etc aren’t cutting it when you have MJF or Orange Cassidy on the other god-damn channel with characters people love and love to hate. Even as Triple H’s handpuppet, Adam Cole’s failed miserably to show even HALF the charisma and personality of Randy Orton even at Randy Orton’s most vanilla.

Dexter is what NXT needs to reach the next level. They need more Dexters, more Velveteen Dreams, Karion Krosses/Scarlets, fucking hell they need Finn Balor to snap out of his PTDS coma state and start showing god-damn fucking passion and life in NXT since you know he can god-damn do it. Fuck, have Drake Maverick stop being a whiney bitch and bring back his Rockstar Spud persona. They need people who look like god-damn stars and who have the “it” factor to capture fans imaginations and attention. Ship Adam Cole, Gargona, and Ciampra and the rest of the ROH rejects to be butchered at the altar of fail and AIDS of godforsaken box office/ratings failures Braun and Drew since NXT will NEVER fucking achieve it’s full potential with them around, and have NXT embrace its status as old school wrestling fun as a legit third wing of the WWE.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fuck no.