Friday Night Party Thread: July 31, 2020

We made it!

It looks like the entire MLB may have to go back into lockdown for a while on Monday if they can’t contain the virus.  And just about every team is FURIOUS at the Marlins for not even trying social distancing.  Florida: they’ll mess it all up.  Guaranteed.

Tonight, on SmackDown, it’s a match I never knew I wanted when AJ Styles defends the I-C title against Gran Metallik.  Nikki Cross gets another chance at women’s champ Bayley.  Naomi and Lacey Evans rematch. Plus, Otis is back in the building!

DID SOMEONE SAY BOTCHAMANIA?

This weekend IWA Mid-South is doing a King of the Deathmatch.  Because IWA Mid-South is run by idiots and I don’t care who hears it.  That said, the stips here are insane even by deathmatch standards.

RIP Mark Rocco.

All right, guys, we’ve been over the rules in the back.  I want you to respect the mod rulings at all times.  Let’s have a good clean thread.  Now, touch gloves, go to your keyboards, and come out posting!

Enjoy the we… oh, crud, I owe you all a story!  After the jump.

So during the day thread, I was asked if I could share any stories my trainers Capital Vices had from their trip to AEW Dark.  I thought against it at first, using the line “I paid to hear those stories” from RVD, largely because I didn’t want anything I said to come back to haunt me.  But I think I can tell this story without getting in too much trouble or ruffling feathers.  (PS — I’m sorry I claimed you were on a date, Pineapple Pete!)

Anyway, after their match on Dark, Jason (Sin) and Brandon (Money) were watching Dynamite at ringside.  At one point a guy comes to Brandon and says he’s wanted in the back.  Brandon quietly goes back, no doubt assuming he’s going to be called out for blowing something in their match, and his fears are a little bigger when it turns out he’s being called back “so Lance Archer can kill you on the next Dark taping”.

Fortunately for him (and us), this wasn’t retribution or a receipt from the boys; they just needed someone who could ragdoll.  In fact, Brandon told us Archer is one of the coolest guys in the locker room.  He asked if Brandon had any ideas, and after Brandon deferred, said “How about I slam you down on the ramp over there?”  Brandon, having seen Cody Rhodes take a bump from an Isaiah Kassidy dive on Dynamite, knew how padded that ramp (probably) was and agreed.

A couple minutes later, Lance had another idea: how about “after the match, you get up and take a wild swing at me and then I’ll chokeslam you in the ring?”  Whoa, double feature!  And it would make him look tough!  He was all for it, but Christopher Daniels wisely nixed the idea.  After all, there was no indication Brandon would “Money of the Capital Vices” — or a wrestler at all.  So the wild swings were out, because what tech guy would pick a fight with Lance Archer, amirite?

They decided to do the chokeslam spot anyway, though.  Also, Brandon was in the middle of changing into “civilian” clothes when someone — don’t remember who — said, “Wait, just one shoe.  It’ll look cooler that way.”

So yeah, I’m now a Lance Archer fan even more than I was before.  And I hope you are too.

Okay, NOW enjoy the weekend!