The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.08.20 (Fyter Fest Night 2)

BUT FIRST!  A personal plug for my friend Tony (not Khan, sorry), who has an amazing Milky Way panoramic shot entered into the SkyNews 2020 photo competition and needs votes.


The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.08.20 (Fyter Fest Night 2)

Taped from Jacksonville, FL

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur

AEW World tag team titles:  Hangman Page & Kenny Omega v. Private Party

Omega trades wristlocks with Quen to start, but Quen tries a standing moonsault and hits knee.  The champs double-team him with chops and he does his weird girly screams while selling them, and Page hits a blockbuster slam for two. Quen dodges the crusher and cleans house with dropkicks, and Kassidy comes in for the Silly String DDT on Omega.  But then Page hauls Quen off the apron and powerbombs him into the front row, followed by Kassidy dropkicking Page into the railing.  Kassidy follows with a springboard dive where he gets so much momentum that he nearly misses.  Back in the ring, Kassidy misses a swanton and the champs double-team Quen with corner clotheslines and into a german suplex from Hangman.  Private Party comes back with a Spanish Fly on Omega for two.  This was weird because Excalibur calls it a “double Spanish Fly”, but originally the move was a double team move and it morphed into a one-man move over the years.  So really calling it a Spanish Fly SHOULD imply that two people are doing it.  I guess the single version should be called a “half Spanish Fly” or something.  Party double-teams Omega for two, but Omega fights back with chops until Kassidy hits him with an enzuigiri.  Kenny with the You Can’t Escape on Kassidy, but Page tags himself in and powerbombs Quen onto Kassidy for two.  Page hits more chops on Quen, but Private Party traps him in the corner and pinballs him between two kicks before diving onto Kenny on the floor.  Quen misses a 450 on Page but lands on his feet, while Kassidy blocks Page’s Buckshot Lariat and reverses him into a DDT on the ramp.  Back in, Quen with a shooting star press for two with a last second save by Omega.  This sets up Gin & Juice on Page, but Omega swoops in with a V-Trigger on Quen and they finish Kassidy with the Last Call at 10:35 to retain in a hard fought win.  This was LOADS better than the matches for both teams last week, just all action start to finish, but the Elite still managed to contain Private Party’s hyperactive impulses and got a great match out of them.  ***3/4

Joey Janela v. Lance Archer

Joey is confused by the lack of his tag team partner Sonny Kiss, but Archer hauls him to the ring like a sack of garbage to end that mystery.  Aw man, what a jerk.  Archer dumps Kiss on the floor and attacks Joey out there as well, but Janela fights back with a baseball slide and goes up with a crossbody to the floor.  Joey sets up a table and grabs a chair, but the ref takes it away from him and Archer hits him with a Pounce that leaves Janela out cold and drooling on the ropes.  Nice touch.  Archer works the back and just grinds his boot heel into it, and then whips Janela into the corner and they trade MAD chops until Archer just bitchslaps him down and Joey ragdolls to the mat.  And we take a break?  We return with Joey making a comeback, but Archer throws him with a suplex.  Archer goes after Sonny Kiss again, but Joey fights back with chops and a clothesline that does nothing.  Joey actually hurts his own arm doing the move, which is another great touch, but he just won’t quit and keeps trying it.  Finally Archer sends him to the apron, but he tries the Blackout and Janela manages to reverse to an inverted DDT in mid-air.  Janela throws superkicks and a knee strike to put him down, and then he goes up with a senton and Sonny Kiss adds a 450 behind the ref’s back and Janela gets two.  What a great tag team partner.  Joey goes up again, but Archer brings him down with a Blackout THROUGH THE TABLE and then smashes his head into the remains for good measure, then rolls him in and pins him at 10:16.  Yeah that would do it.  This was AWESOME and I have no idea where it came from.  ****

Meanwhile, Darby Allin continues falling from high places while on medical leave.

Taz and Brian Cage join us with HOT NEWZ.  Since Moxley has chickened out from defending his title against Cage here this week, Taz has taken it upon himself to bestow the old FTW World title upon his man Cage.  THAT’S SOME RENEGADE SHIT.  I should note that this is definitely not the original design for the belt, but then WWE probably owns the original version anyway.

The Young Bucks & FTR v. Lucha Bros & Butcher & Blade

I really wish Butcher & Blade would come up with a name for themselves at some point.  Pentagon immediately throws the glove at FTR, so Dax Harwood comes in to start and works a hammerlock.  So Penta throws a vicious chop and they trade some of that, but Dax elbows him down and Wheeler comes in with a flying knee to the shoulder and FTR goes to work on that.  But the Luchas trap Harwood in the corner and double-team him with kicks from the floor and they trade MORE horrifying chops.  Fenix tries a suplex and Harwood reverses and pounds him down, then alley-oops him into a powerslam from Wheeler for two.  Matt tags himself in for a double-team, but Fenix tags out to Blade and the Bucks double-team HIM and then hit the Butcher with a double dropkick.  Nick misses a charge on Blade, however, and Butcher hits an exploding gutbuster into a powerbomb from Blade for two.  Pentagon comes in and puts Nick in tombstone position, while Fenix hits a low dropkick to Nick’s head, and then Butcher hits a uranage for two.  Nick and Fenix bounce to the top rope on a test of strength and Nick brings him down with a rana in an incredibly timed spot.  And we take a break to recover.  Back with Blade trying a piledriver on Wheeler, who backdrops out of it and tags Matt Jackson.  He runs wild on the Luchas with a double clothesline and hits Penta with the shiranui and goes up with a dive onto Butcher & Blade outside, then comes back in with a flying elbow on Fenix for two.  Matt slugs it out with Fenix, but walks into a superkick and it’s over to Blade.  Harwood makes a blind tag and runs in with a DDT on Blade, but before we get a MEGAPOWER HANDSHAKE to celebrate, Butcher breaks it up.  So Wheeler and Nick team up with a Shatter Machine on Fenix to get rid of him, and then Nick helps Harwood with a spike piledriver on Blade for two.  Pentagon saves, but the babyfaces all trap Blade in the corner and hit a double superplex into a pair of splashes from Wheeler and Matt, and that gets two before Penta makes a desperate save.  So Matt slugs it out with Penta and sets up the Meltzer Driver, but Fenix walks the ropes and breaks it up.  And then everyone piles up on the floor and Fenix hits them all with a dive.  But Matt accidentally superkicks Dax off the apron, and the Luchas finish him off with the Penta Driver at 15:30.  WHAT EVEN WAS THIS?!?  This was just all kinds of crazy packed into 20:00 of TV.  I probably missed a bunch of big moves while trying to recap everything going on, too.   ****1/2

Meanwhile, Big Swole shows up at the building and gets served with suspension papers.  She drove 3.5 hours!  Haven’t they heard of a fax machine?

Kilynn King & Kenzie Page v. Nyla Rose

Well we definitely need a cooldown after that last match.  Nyla wallops Page into the corner and tosses her into a tag from King, and King tries to jump on her back with a sleeper.  Page comes in to help, but runs into her own partner by mistake and then Nyla spears King and throws Page into her own partner.  Powerbomb on Page finishes at 2:20.  Very impressive squash.  And then Rose makes her big announcement:  She’s hired a manager, but she’s not telling us who it is yet.  OK then.

Meanwhile, someone has badly injured Colt Cabana at last week’s Dynamite, but Brodie Lee is confident he’ll be fine to wrestle.

Colt Cabana, Mr. Brodie Lee & Stu Grayson v. Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian & Scorpio Sky

Wait, whatever happened to Anna Jay after she got recruited by the Dark Order a few weeks back?  Daniels takes Stu down with an armbar, but Grayson gets a dropkick for two and throws forearms on the ropes.  Daniels catches him with a backbreaker and Kaz comes in for a double-team and german suplex for two.  Scorpio tries a suplex and Grayson flips out of it and hits a Pele kick, and it’s over to Colt.  Sky goes for a waistlock and Colt immediately runs to the ropes due to his bruised ribs, and Brodie is disappointed because this shows WEAKNESS.  Colt keeps hiding in the ropes and Grayson gets a cheapshot from the apron, while Lee comes in with a reverse suplex on Sky behind the ref’s back.  That gets two for Colt.  We take a break and return with Colt and the Dark Order working Sky over for two.  Sky manages to backdrop Grayson over the top and kicks Colt in the bad ribs to escape, and it’s hot tag Kaz for a springboard DDT on Lee for one.  Lee gets a superkick and tries a slam on Kaz, but Daniels comes in with a missile dropkick on them for two.  SCU triple-teams Lee, but Grayson hits a TKKO on Sky.  Kaz with a cutter on Grayson and they head to the floor for a tope from Daniels.  Back in, Daniels hits a uranage on Grayson to set up the moonsault for two, but Colt saves.  Daniels gets all pissed off at Colt for doing that and slugs him down, so Brodie hits Daniels with the discus lariat and lets Colt get the win at 11:15.  Not great but lots of action here and it was entertaining.  ***

Next week:  Moxley v. Cage!  The Elite v. Jurassic Express!  FTR v. the Lucha Bros!

Meanwhile, Big Swole manages to sneak in via disguise, and balls up the suspension papers and HITS BRITT BAKER IN THE NOSE!  Britt has an epic freakout out of all proportion to the “injury” that’s just hilarious for some reason.

Orange Cassidy v. LE CHAMPION Chris Jericho

Orange actually sends the Best Friends back to the dressing room and decides to go it alone.  Orange goes right into the pockets and this Jericho with a dropkick to put him on the floor, and follows with a tope before sending Jericho into the railing.  Back in, Orange gets a flying bodypress, but he tries a DDT and Jericho quickly reverses to the Walls of Jericho.  Cassidy makes the ropes, but Ortiz hits him with the TUBE SOCK OF DEATH and Jericho gets one.  Jericho with a backdrop suplex and he MOCKS THE POCKETS before slapping Orange around in the corner and following with a backbreaker.  Jericho lays in the chops and whips him into the corner a few times, but Orange gets a rollup for two and a small package for two.  Another rollup gets two.  Jericho misses a blind charge and hits the corner, but Cassidy misses the superman punch and lands on the floor, where Jericho dropkicks him into the railing and we take a break.  Back with Orange getting fired up, but Jericho wraps him up with an abdominal stretch and grabs the ropes for good measure.  Aubrey kicks him away and Orange escapes with a hiptoss and makes the comeback.  He charges and misses, landing on the apron, and Jericho runs him into the railing again and beats on him outside.  Back in, Jericho gets the ARROGANT COVER for two, baby, and goes to work on Cassidy’s favorite injured ear like a complete douche.  Orange fires up again with forearms in the corner and a rana, and Orange uses the POWER OF THE POCKETS to set up the devastating shin kicks, followed by a real superkick for two in a nice twist.  Cassidy goes up and Jericho chops him down, but Orange fights him off and hits the lazy splash for two.  Jericho sends him to the apron again, but this time Jericho is the one who misses the charge and lands on the floor, and Cassidy follows with a corkscrew dive onto the Circle outside.  Back in, Orange with a diving DDT for two.  He sets up the superman punch to finish, but Jericho takes him down with the Walls for a second time and Orange is in some trouble.  He gets to the ropes, but Jericho pulls him back to the middle, and Orange is forced to use effort instead and cradles Jericho for two.  He slugs Jericho down, but Ortiz throws orange juice in his face and this finally brings out Best Friends to take care of them.  And while the ref is distracted, Jericho hits Orange with the bat and a codebreaker for two.  Thought that was it.  Jericho pounds away on him, but Orange fires back again, only to walk into a back elbow.  This sets up the Lionsault, but it misses and Orange hits a Michinoku Driver for two.  They slug it out from their knees and Orange is fired up again with clotheslines, but Jericho catches him with a low knee.  Cassidy comes back with a stunner and swinging DDT for two while poor Aubrey has to lie in the orange juice spill while making the count.  Orange makes one last try at the superman punch, but Jericho puts him down with the Judas Effect and that’s all at 17:35.  They had me hook line and sinker with this one and I was 99% sure Jericho was losing, but then he didn’t.  Which sucked.  But still, a GREAT main event, probably Orange’s best ever singles match by a lot.  ****1/4

Holy cow!  After last week’s somewhat disappointing effort, this one blew Night One out of the water, with only the Nyla Rose squash dipping below the level I’d call “Awesome” and everything else hitting it out of the park for one of their best ever episodes by a mile.  Thumbs WAY up this week.