Monday Night Raw – January 30, 2006

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2006
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania and Raw needs to get some stuff done after last night. Smackdown’s Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble so we are going to need a #1 contender for the Raw World Title, which John Cena won back last night from Edge. That sounds like the call of a tournament so let’s get to it.

Edge isn’t waiting for Wrestlemania or Saturday Night’s Main Event because he wants his rematch tonight. He will NOT be a transitional champion. I wouldn’t worry about that, because winning the title from someone and then losing it back to them isn’t being a transitional champion.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a cocky Vince McMahon, who guaranteed that Shawn Michaels’ luck would run out at the Royal Rumble. We look at Shane McMahon eliminating Shawn last night, with Vince wanting some praise for his son. Sure he abused his power a little bit but what’s the point of having power if you don’t abuse it?

Cue Shawn to say maybe he could do the good Christian thing and just quit, but that would mean Vince suing him for breach of contract. Since that isn’t the case, Shawn can just be the old drinking, pill popping Shawn of days past. That isn’t happening either, so Vince thinks Shawn is screwed worse than Bret Hart.

Vince isn’t going to fire him because that’s not good business, so Shawn wants to appeal to the businessman. Shawn offers a match against Vince, but the boss isn’t sure. There’s no chance of that happening, and Shawn has ticked Vince off. That’s why tonight, Shawn can commit career suicide by hitting him. Vince takes off his jacket and begs Shawn to hit him but here’s Shane to chair Shawn in the back.

During the break, Shane says he did this to teach Shawn respect, like Bret Hart had to learn. The McMahons leave.

Rob Van Dam vs. Snitsky

Van Dam avoids a charge to start and kicks at the knee but Snitsky punches him down in the corner. The middle rope kick to the face slips (Van Dam: “S***!”) and Snitsky clotheslines him out of the air. We hit the chinlock before Snitsky chokes on the rope, followed by the bearhug. A powerslam gives Snitsky two and a hard running clothesline in the corner drops Rob again. Van Dam finally comes back with the stepover kick and a spinwheel kick, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. A big boot misses for Snitsky and Van Dam kicks him down again. The Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not terrible here as Snitsky looked better than usual with all of the power stuff. There’s no need to do anything more than keep it simple with power vs. high flying/speed as the point of this was to show that Rob could still go in the ring. It wasn’t anything memorable, but Van Dam being back is certainly a good thing.

Mama Benjamin yells at Shelton for not winning the Royal Rumble. Mama: “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE OTHER TWENTY NINE BOYS!” She tells him to go win and then come back and rub his shoulders. Shelton leaves so here’s Goldust to rub her shoulders instead. Mama: “WHAT ARE YOU?” Goldust mentions loving golden showers and we’re leaving this one in a hurry.

HHH is annoyed at Maria for bringing up Rey Mysterio eliminating him after an hour in the Royal Rumble. That doesn’t go well because HHH faced 28 other men head on and then got blindsided. He can’t take that out on Eddie Guerrero or Rey Mysterio, but he has another idea.

HHH vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo doesn’t even get an entrance. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but Chavo gets in a dropkick for a trip to the floor. Back in and Chavo starts in on the armbar, setting up a flying forearm to put HHH outside again. They switch places and HHH backdrops him over the top for a big crash and it’s off to a break.

We come back with HHH in control and hitting a pair of backbreakers for two. There’s a hard whip into the corner to make things even worse for Chavo and HHH mocks the Eddie dance. The sleeper is countered with a ram into the corner and Chavo hits another dropkick. A spinning DDT gives Chavo two and there are Three Amigos. The frog splash misses though and there’s the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? It’s not like anyone believed HHH was losing to Chavo and the Eddie stuff has made a comeback out of nowhere. We’re less than three months removed from his death and it is already seeming to be one of if not the biggest story in the company. That isn’t exactly easy to sit through, let alone being the most entertaining.

Chris Masters isn’t happy with Carlito for eliminating him last night and slaps him as a receipt. Now they’re cool to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Show and Kane are defending. The champs jump them to start and it’s a big chop in the corner to Carlito. Kane gets annoyed at Carlito but misses a charge, allowing Masters to send him into the steps. Back in and Carlito hits a Backstabber on Kane, followed by the Masterlock. Show makes an eventual save and cleans house until Carlito low bridges him outside. Another Masterlock to Kane has to be broken up and it’s a double chokeslam to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure who is seeing all of the potential in a Carlito/Masters combination but I guess it’s better than watching the two of them be out there on their own in two different segments. Kane and Big Show are nearly unstoppable at this point though and these two schmucks aren’t going to take the titles from them. It was nice to see a little drama, but it’s still Carlito and Masters. That’s not going to get very far.

During the break, Carlito yelled at the referee but Rob Van Dam made the save. Granted we don’t see this, but Lawler tells us what happened on WWE.com.

Mickie James is ready to celebrate Trish Stratus. Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth II and Angelina Jolie have been celebrated and they’re “dime store hookers compared to Trish.” Mickie knows Trish loves her too.

We look at Edge winning the World Title at New Year’s Revolution and then losing it last night.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Goldust

Mama is in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank. They start fast and it’s Goldust catapulting him to the floor. An uppercut keeps Shelton in trouble and they head back inside with Shelton taking him down. Some right hands to the head draw the MAMA’S BOY chants and Goldust starts his quick comeback. Shattered Dreams connects but Goldust goes to hit on Mama, allowing Shelton to kick him in the head. The exploder gives Shelton the pin.

Rating: D. Now Mama has props. I get the point of the comedy but it makes the Shelton fan in me very, very sad. How this is the best thing that WWE could think of for someone as good as Benjamin is beyond me but that has never stopped them before. Not a good match either, which is kind of a trend this week.

Post break, Shelton wheels Mama to the women’s room and then goes over to tell Ric Flair he’s coming for the Intercontinental Title. Flair laughs it off as a threat from a mama’s boy.

Here’s how Candice Michelle made her GoDaddy.com Super Bowl commercial.

Here’s Mickie James to explain how much she loves Trish. We see a clip of Trish reluctantly counting the three count last night and here’s Trish. Balloons and confetti fall as Trish isn’t sure what is going on here. Mickie has another present to show her appreciation: the Spirit Squad! Their cheer explains the Mickie loves her and it’s time for Trish to say the same.

Before Trish can say anything, here’s Ashley to interrupt. Ashley makes it clear that Trish thinks Mickie is a psycho, sending Mickie into tears. Trish can’t really deny it so Mickie jumps Ashley to trigger the catfight. A save attempt from Trish lets Mickie kick Ashley in the face, which Mickie thinks means Trish loves her too.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. They stare at each other to start with Cena grabbing an aggressive headlock takeover. Edge sends him outside though and starts brawling until Cena takes it inside again for another headlock. The release fisherman’s suplex gives Cena two and he grabs a front facelock. Cena switches to a chinlock but Edge fights up with a dropkick. Edge takes too much time going up though and is shoved face first into the announcers’ table.

Back from a break with Edge in control and mocking You Can’t See Me, because it worked so well for him last night. A guillotine of all things has Cena in trouble but he slips out after a decent amount of trouble. Cena wins the slugout and catches a diving Edge in a powerslam for two. There’s a spinebuster for the same and Cena crotches Edge on top, setting up a superplex.

Edge gets his own rollup out of the corner for two but walks into the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle (with a kiss blown to Lita) but Edge sends Cena into the referee. Edge hits Cena low and there’s the spear for no count. Cena is back up and tries the FU, drawing in Lita to hit Edge (yes Edge) with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Slightly better match than last night and I like the ending, but there was no drama about who was winning. I know Edge did well with the title and shocked the world before, but they just aren’t going to have him in the World Title scene at Wrestlemania so soon after getting into the title picture. The ending was smart though and gives Edge an out, but it’s still not looking like his time until after Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: D+. This was more about hitting the brakes a bit after the Rumble and they do have a long time before Wrestlemania. That being said, things aren’t looking great around here at the moment as there isn’t anything on the show that made me want to see where things are going. It wasn’t the worst show, but there was nothing overly good and it feels like we’re still waiting for something big to start around here.

 

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