The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.17.20
Live from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Excalibur & Jim Ross
AEW World tag team titles: Hangman “You Don’t Need a Hat to Be a Cowboy” Page & Kenny Omega v. Dustin Rhodes & QT Marshall
No Allie tonight, so I assume that QT is free and clear of her now and this storyline is wrapped up. Kenny tries a rollup and gets blocked, so he fires off a chop and tries the One Winged Angel quickly. Dustin escapes and Kenny snaps off a rana, at which point Dustin retires fire with his own. Everyone makes nice and tags out, and Page takes QT down and chops the crap out of him when he gets up. QT gets a dropkick, so Page kicks him in the face and Omega comes in with a springboard axehandle to the ribs to work on those. QT fights back with a suplex and Dustin comes in and slugs away on Kenny, then sends him into the turnbuckles. But first, Tony has BREAKING NEWS! Dr. Britt Baker tells Tony via handwritten note that she has isolated herself because she is a role model. So we get a visual of Britt sending a note on a clothesline, up to the desk. Amazing. BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Britt Baker doesn’t like Tony’s green tie. One small blessing of the quarantine is that my work banned ties because they’re too hard to clean and thus could spread germs. So there can be a silver lining if you look hard enough. Page comes in and makes the comeback, hitting QT with a lariat and then knocking Dustin off the apron. Fallaway slam on QT and he flows into a springboard bodyblock onto Dustin outside. Back in with a sliding lariat on QT for two. Kenny hits You Can’t Escape for two. Page with a bit boot, but QT hits a handspring kick and makes the hot tag to Dustin. Dustin runs wild with the atomic drop into the bulldog on Kenny and snaps off the powerslams on both guys, and he goes up with a twisting senton on both of them. They all hit the floor and QT follows with a Space Flying Tiger Drop, and back with a top rope diving elbow on Kenny. QT tosses Page and tries a Diamond Cutter on Kenny, but Kenny reverses into the snapdragon. Dustin hits Kenny with the Destroyer and QT gets his Diamond Cutter on QT, and everyone is out. But then Allie does finally come out and cheers on the Nightmares, at which point he misses a moonsault and the champs double-team him with an assisted german suplex for two. Page powerbombs QT into Kenny’s V-Trigger, which gets two as Page takes out Dustin on the floor. And then they destroy QT with the Last Call and put him away at 12:59 to retain. Took them a bit but they just kept working harder and harder and it was a hell of an effort from Marshall. ***3/4
Meanwhile, we meet Anna Jay.
Anna Jay v. Abadon
Abadon does an entrance like a damn horror movie character and she’s hella creepy. BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Britt Baker notes “This broad needs to find Jesus”. Abadon freaks out Jay and chokes her on the ropes, then hits a short rana facebuster for the pin at 1:15. Holy shit, they just made a major new star. That was some Fiend-level stuff there. And then after getting destroyed here, Anna receives a visit from the Dark Order, who stop by ringside and give Colt some kind of contract offer and then escort Anna to the back. They packed a LOT into one segment here and it was great.
Billy (Leader of the Gunn Club) v. MJF
BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Britt Baker wonders how Aubrey Edwards is still employed despite her known status as a conspirator. Fair question. MJF offers a handshake and then tries to turn on Billy (Leader of the Gunn Club) but Billy overpowers him instead. They trade rollup attempts and Billy boots him down. MJF tosses Billy and then necks him on the way in, but Billy no-sells it and we take a break. Back with MJF going after the leg, but Billy fights back with a tilt a whirl slam and is unable to hit the fameasser because his finish is lifting his leg and he’s unable to do so at the moment. So he charges and hits the corner knee-first, and MJF wraps him up in a leglock and grabs the ropes. MJF stops to argue with Aubrey and then tries his own fameasser, but Billy escapes and hits his own. Wardlow takes the ref and gives MJF the ring, while we get a clever shot of MJF smiling at the camera in evil glee, and the DIAMOND RING OF DOOM finishes at 10:05. Man, that crippling knee injury sure made Billy Gunn look old and slow here! * And then MJF gets in the face of Jungle Boy and we get a brawl. I kinda wish they’d just use Billy’s kids instead, to be honest.
Meanwhile, Alex Marvez demands to know why Jericho beat up Orange Cassidy last week. Jericho: “Because YOU’VE GOT A FAT HEAD, MARVEZ!” Touche.
Meanwhile, Tony stops by Britt’s wheelchair to announce that Penelope Ford is getting a title shot at Fyter Fest, and she freaks out and puts him on a FRIENDSHIP TIME OUT. She demands Rebel drive her away dramatically, but it’s Big Swole behind the wheel and we get a “WHERE TO, DOCTOR?” before she kidnaps the Doctor. That was fun.
Cody Rhodes joins us and he’s wondering if he’s even in the Elite anymore these days. Pretty sure they’re building a subtle heel turn here. So he passes it off to Arn Anderson, who is sure that Cody can beat Hager, but not today. So today he’s got someone a bit different…
TNT Championship: Cody Rhodes v. Ricky Starks
WHOA! He doesn’t even go here! That’s a good get for AEW and they gave him a big introductory promo beforehand to make it seem like a big deal. My AEW and NWA Powerrr worlds are colliding! Cody hits him with the sliding punch and Starks fires back with a backhand and slaps him in the corner, and they slug it out. Cody sends him to the floor and follows with a dive, but Starks necks him on the ropes and slugs away on the apron, then follows with a legdrop for two. DDT gets two. Starks works on the neck and stops to pose before making a blind charge, but they crack heads in the corner and Cody comes back with a powerslam for two. Front suplex and Cody goes up, where they fight for a superplex and Starks hits that one. Cody takes a breather on the ropes and Starks takes him to the floor with a bodypress. Back in, they slug it out and Cody misses the disaster kick. Starks tries his finisher but Cody reverses for two and they trade pinfall attempts for two, but Cody spins him into Crossroads to retain at 8:34. Hopefully Starks sticks around because this was a good match. ***1/4
The Superbad Squad v. The Young Bucks
I’m saddened that they dropped the “Death” from the Squad name between last week and this week. Also that we probably won’t be getting any Pervertplex from Ford this week either. Sadly, the ref discovers a pair of plyers in Havoc’s tights and confiscates them before the match. Havoc goes right after Matt’s taped ribs in the corner with no preamble, but the Bucks double-team him and dropkick the Squad to the floor before following with a dive. This gives the Butcher and Blade a chance to yell at them from ringside while dressed like a pair of long shoremen. Back in, Sabian charges in at the Bucks and runs into a punch as a result, so Havoc comes in and takes a neckbreaker from them. This brings the Butcher and Blade into the ring, freshing from cosplaying Robin Williams in “Popeye”, and that allows the Squad to take over while we take a break. Back with Havoc tossing Matt to the ramp, but FTR stops by and chases them back to their ringside seats. Sabian punts Matt and they double-team him, including Sabian catapulting Matt into a Havoc eyepoke. Also, I REALLY like that they do a rundown of the AEW Dark results at the bottom of the screen, because it makes it seem like the show means something and everything counts. It’s a nice touch and it’s not even that’s intrusive or a big deal. Nick finally gets the hot tag and runs wild with the double bulldog on the heels, and he slingshots into a legdrop on the ramp and follows with a dive. Back in, Nick with the Sharpshooter on Sabian, who crawls for the ropes. And then Matt drops an elbow on him to stop that, but then Havoc takes the ref and Ford hits Nick with a wet floor sign. Havoc with a fisherman’s DDT for two, but Matt saves. Sabian slingshots in with a DDT on Nick for two and goes up for a foot stomp, but that misses and Matt gets another hot tag. He does the rolling northern lights while Sabian is GUSHING blood from his ear, and the Bucks double-team Havoc and get the Risky Business for two. They set up for the Indytaker, but FTR argues with Butcher and Blade and Havoc is able to get a rollup for two. And then Sabian dives in with the double foot stomp on Matt’s broken ribs and gets two. Havoc and Sabian collide and Matt does a double suplex on them. SUPERKICK PARTY and they force Sabian to tombstone his own partner and then put him away with the kamagoye at 14:56. That was an incredible finish, as they put a stunned Havoc into Sabian’s arms and then kicked out his leg, resulting in the tombstone. I really like the Superbad Squad as a team. They’re not like top guys, but they hang in there and they’re fun to watch. ***1/4
Meanwhile, Taz complains about Moxley stealing his “miserable son of a bitch” gimmick, while he hangs out with Cage drinking protein shakes under a bridge (“You know, body guy stuff”) and Cage is READY for Fyter Fest.
Meanwhile, Moxley is also ready for the fight. JR promises it’ll be the ultimate slobberknocking war. Well that’s a big promise.
Next week: Mr. Brodie Lee & Colt Cabana v. Joey Janela & Sonny Kiss! Wardlow v. Luchasaurus in a lumberjack match! Matt Hardy v. Sammy Guevara!
Meanwhile, Rebel finds Britt left for dead in a dumpster. Britt: “You’re fired!” Rebel: “You mean I’m free?” Britt: “Never mind! You’re re-hired!” Britt demands that someone get Tony Schiavone on the phone, and she promises to seek revenge on Big Swole. SHE’S BEEN IN THERE FOR SIX HOURS!
#1 contender match: Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara v. Best Friends
Everyone slugs it out on the floor and Chuck chokes out Jericho and runs him into the table. Trent spears Sammy on the floor while Chuck hits a neckbreaker on Sammy for two. Chuck stomps Jericho down in the corner, but Jericho hits a missile dropkick for two and chokes him out on the ropes. Sammy with a dropkick and ARROGANT COVER, but it only gets one. Jericho comes in with a snap suplex on Chuck and drops a leg, then cuts off a Chuck comeback with a dropkick for two. Lionsault misses and Jericho sells the knee, and it’s hot tag Trent. He beats on Sammy with chops and dodges a charge, but walks into a pump kick. Trent hits him with a high angle backdrop driver and gives Jericho a baseball slide, but Jericho gives him a baseball BAT to even things up! We take a break and return with Trent getting beat up now, as Jericho suplexes him on the top rope for two. Le Sex Gods stop for a photo op, but Sammy charges and walks into a double stomp from Trent out of the corner and it’s hot tag Chucky. He DOES THE DEAL for two and goes up with a moonsault that misses, but he lands on his feet and hits a powerbomb for two instead. Sammy cuts him off with a jawbreaker and they hit the half-and-half, but the hug is broken up by Jericho. Jerk. Trent recovers from that disappointment with a tornado DDT, but Jericho blocks him with the Walls of Jericho in the middle. Trent makes the ropes while Jericho bitches at the ref, and Trent hits a clothesline on him. Sammy comes in with a superkick and goes up, but Trent drops him on the Spanish peanuts and we get a stacked up superplex off that. Lariat from Trent gets two, complete with 360 sell from Sammy. Jericho rakes the eyes from the floor and Sammy gets a handful of tights for two off that. Chuck gets all frustrated and goes after Jericho with a chair, but gets thrown into the crowd as a result. Sammy hits Trent with the bat and goes up with the shooting star press, but it only gets two. But then the cameraman accidentally trips him up and Trent hits the Strong Zero for the pin at 15:44 to keep their title shot. And of course, the cameraman unmasks as ORANGE CASSIDY, pulling a Jericho on Jericho, and he actually gets fired up and attacks Jericho with a superman punch, which sets up Jericho v. Orange for Fyter Fest in what might be the first EIGHT STAR match in history. And we get the team hug to end the show. This was all great pro wrestling storytelling to send me home happy, and exactly what it should have been. ***1/4
Yeah! This was more like it after last week’s rebuilding show, with a hot effort all up and down and just two hours of solid entertainment.
And whatever Billy Gunn was doing.