Monday Night Raw – January 9, 2006

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2006
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re past New Year’s Revolution, meaning that it’s time to go towards the Royal Rumble and Edge has “stolen” (not really but it’s what commentary is saying) the Raw World Title from John Cena. It should be interesting to see where he goes from here, as he only has so many ways to go to get to the Rumble where he can lose the title back to Cena. Let’s get to it.

Elimination Chamber/cash-in recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a fired up Cena to get things going, but these fans need to bring it louder with the mixed reactions. Cena talks about how many choices there are to make, like Edge choosing to cash in Money in the Bank and fans choosing to boo or ride with him. Cena is going to bat for everyone who rides with him and tells the people who are drinking the Haterade what they can do. He wants his rematch with Edge right here tonight (good thing there’s a rematch clause in the Money in the Bank contract).

Cue Lita with the title to say the rematch is coming at the Rumble, not tonight (apparently thanks to some special persuasion of Vince McMahon). Instead, Edge has something else to do tonight, and it’s going to be with Lita, in the middle of the ring. Tonight though, Edge is going to last longer than two minutes. Edge knows what to do do in bed and unlike Cena, he knows how to wrestle. Lita goes to leave but Cena tells the “one woman hooker parade to stop.” There may be a lot of people here who think he sucks but everyone KNOWS she can. Cena is taking the title back at the Rumble.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ashley

Trish is defending and Mickie James insists that the fans cheer Trish a lot louder than that. After Trish isn’t exactly cool with that, Ashley gets some of the least convincing headlocks I can ever remember. Trish shrugs it off but gets dropped on her face out of the corner….so Mickie comes in for the DQ in a hurry.

Post match Lilian messes up the announcement and says Trish is the winner, causing some confusing.

Rob Van Dam is back in the Royal Rumble.

Cena meets with Vince in the back and talks about the first ever live sex celebration tonight. If Cena interferes, there is no rematch at the Rumble. Cena is fine with that, but points out that Vince still has some evidence of Lita’s, uh, persuasion. Vince will take care of that.

Chris Masters grabs Carlito and demands answers after last night. Eventually Masters lets go because he doesn’t have the best attention span.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Rob Conway vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo slugs away to start and hits the Eddie pose, only to get thrown over the top and kicked out to the floor. Back in and Chavo knocks him outside for a change, setting up the dive. Chavo snaps off a headscissors and hammers away in the corner, only to have Conway roll through a high crossbody for two. Conway stops to mock the Eddie pose so Chavo grabs Three Amigos. The frog splash finishes Conway without much trouble.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure if that’s the best choice for a followup match to the nothing opener but Chavo is always good for a mostly smooth match. Conway is good for the same, though it’s clear that nothing is going to be happening with him anytime soon. I’ll take a passable yet boring match over a bad one though so at least it’s an upgrade. Kind of.

Wrestlemania Big Time moment: Edge wins the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Shawn Michaels because they’re partners tonight. No, they don’t trust each other.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin run into Val Venis because Mama has seen some of his movies. Val lists off some of his titles, sending Mama into a rant about being a good Christian woman and how Venis is going to h***. Tonight, against Shelton.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with Angle and Shawn. It’s a brawl to start until Masters is sent outside, leaving Shawn to elbow Carlito for one. The headlock goes on and Shawn grabs the hair to keep it on. Angle comes in to continue the headlocking and it’s off to Shawn and Masters. Shawn knocks him around for a bit and hands it back to Angle, who walks into a powerslam. It’s too early for the Masterlock as Angle reverses into a German suplex. Shawn and Angle are knocked to the floor though and an argument takes us to a break.

Back with Carlito hammering on Angle until he snaps off a belly to belly for a breather. Shawn gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house, including the top rope elbow to asters. Carlito breaks up Sweet Chin Music though and crotches Shawn against the st to put him down. The chinlock goes on as Shawn is bleeding from the forehead. Shawn fights up and hits a backdrop as Daivari needs to point something out to Angle.

As a result, Shawn has to DDT Masters but Angle needs to make sure that Daivari still has his gold medal. I’d be more worried about why it had a red white and blue strap around it last night and a green one tonight but that’s just me. Anyway Shawn pulls Angle over the top and gives him Sweet Chin Music, leaving Angle to get Masterlocked as Shawn is rather pleased. Shawn superkicks Daivari as Angle is out.

Rating: C. I’m assuming we’re coming up on Angle vs. Michaels again and that could be another classic. Other than that, the match itself was a long form acceptable tag match, but not exactly memorable. There is only so much that you can get out of Carlito and Masters in the ring and that is becoming more and more obvious every week.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Vince runs into Shawn and gives him another match with Angle next week. After that, they’re moving on.

HHH says last night was crazy but he is the one constant around here. That’s why he’s winning the Royal Rumble and the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania.

Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria test out Edge and Lita’s bed.

Last night, Edge and Lita promised a live sex celebration for Raw. Shouldn’t this have been aired before the announcement?

Stacy Keibler is still on Dancing With The Stars.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Val Venis

Mama Benjamin is here too. Shelton kicks him into the corner but Val punches his way out without much trouble. Val knocks him outside so Shelton can hide behind Mama, allowing a cheap shot to Val on the way back in. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Val is up with a Rock Bottom for two and he ducks the Dragon Whip. The Money Shot misses but Shelton gets pulled off the top. With Shelton down, Mama pulls out one of her hair pins and stabs Val in the back of the trunks, knocking him into the exploder for the pin.

Rating: C-. What matters most here is Mama was toned WAY down here, to the point where she was talking only slightly more than a usual manager. They also didn’t have her mic’d up as much and it made a big difference. Turning Shelton heel with the help of his Mama is fine, but don’t make Mama the star like you were doing last night.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Kane vs. Snitsky

Snitsky jumps him and gets chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Kane promises 29 more victims at the Royal Rumble. When is he going to promise to defend the Tag Team Titles?

Edge arrives.

Here are Edge and Lita for their celebration. Edge: “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” Edge brags about everything he did last night and how no one saw it coming. You don’t have to be the biggest or strongest in this business because you need to be the smartest. He and Lita have saved themselves for tonight so hit the music.

The title is placed on the pillow and Edge takes his shoes off. He gets to take off Lita’s boots as Coach wonders if Snitsky is watching. They disrobe each other and Edge unhooks Lita’s bra before covering her with the blanket. Various movements are made under said blanket and Edge comes out with Lita’s underwear in his mouth.

Cue Ric Flair to talk about what it means to become WWE Champion. Edge doesn’t have any of that and he’s dead in the bed Fred. Now Flair is going to show Edge how to do everything….so Edge hits Flair in the head with a chair. The Conchairto crushes Flair’s head, drawing out Cena for the late save. Edge runs as an FU to Lita ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. Famous ending segment aside, this was just a run of the mill show. They’re getting ready for the Rumble now though and that’s the best thing that can happen at the moment. The show is one of the most important of the year and it should be nice to see things with a big time goal. I’m not sure how much of a future Edge has, but he certainly started on a high note. Now just follow up on it.

 

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