Here we are with some more ECW, as Justin Credible’s reign of meh continues on.
Hopefully they actually start some proper build to Heatwave this week.
Let’s watch the wrestling you chuffing beauties!
This week’s matches are taped from New Orleans, Louisiana
Calling the action is Joey Styles
We open up with clips of Da Baldies taking on Danny Doring and Roadkill. Doring tries to make a tag to Roadkill, but he gets jumped by Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger, forcing Doring to go it alone. That doesn’t go well for him and he gets pinned following a double flapjack. Da Baldies try a post-match beat down but New Jack’s music hits as we head to the opening credits.
Back from the credits, Spanish Angel has already been bloodied up by New Jack and ends up taking a chair to the head for a three count. Goodness me, how many times are they going to have New Jack pin Angel at this stage? They’ve basically undone EVERY win Angel ever got over him at this stage, and it’s not like that did much for him anyway.
Joey is in front of the ECW Banner, where he hypes up an uncensored Paul Heyman rant on The Network
CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously and Elektra Vs Kid Kash
Lou E does his usual cheap heat promo, calling the fans “Crack Babies” and just generally being unpleasant. The bleachers look kind of sparse for this due to how spaced apart they are, but it looks like all the available seats are taken. It might have been wiser to drop the house lights and just have the ring lit up for this venue. These two generally had good chemistry together, so this should hopefully be a fun match depending on how much time they are given to actually tell a story. Kash gets a quick shine before diving out of the ring as we take a break.
Back from the ads, Elektra is distracting Kash so that CW can catch him with a super kick and then start working him over, targeting the arm in the usual Anderson manner. Kash sells that well and the crowd gets behind him whilst CW continues to beat him up. Joey mentions on commentary that Heatwave will be the 16th of July. It looks like Kash tries a springboard move of some kind but it goes awry, so he improvises it into an axe handle smash, only to then get Ferris wheel suplexed right after.
Kash makes the odd attempt at a comeback, but CW manages to stop it each time and continues to focus on the arm in his usual gruff manner. Kash manages to get a DDT out of nowhere for two and CW quickly snuffs out another comeback with a lovely spine buster for two. That looked great. Heel miscommunication sees Lou E accidentally hit CW with his oversized 80’s mobile phone though, and that allows Kash to get a desperation school boy for the last gasp win.
WINNER: KID KASH
Decent TV match there, as they gave CW a lot offence to make him look like a force to be reckoned with but they also gave Kash the last gasp win to show that he was a gutsy babyface who wouldn’t give up.
Joey is in front of the ECW Banner, where he sends to a Paul Heyman promo that got cut from TNN. Heyman complains that The Network hasn’t hyped the show properly and that they are going to bring in the WWF to replace them. He states that he hates The Network, and that is a shoot. He actively dares The Network to throw him off the air, because he’ll break every rule he can until they do. He closes by encouraging The Network to spend the money they are giving the WWF on lawyers instead, because the war has just begun. The delivery here was fantastic, but I struggle to see what it achieved other than letting Paul air his dirty laundry in public.
Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger w/ The Prodigy, The Prodigette, The Musketeer and Mitch Vs Nova and Chetti
Simon says they set an example with Doring and Roadkill to prove that they are not a comedy act. Chetti and Nova show off how polished a team they are by shining on the heels with some nice tandem offence, but a Swinger cheap shot leads to Nova getting cut off, with the sideshow getting their licks in too whilst the referee deals with Chetti on the apron.
Simon and Swinger do a decent job working the heat on Nova, as it looks like they are starting to get some chemistry going as a team. Nova manages to catch Simon with a Roll of the Dice and makes the hot tag to Chetti, who does a good hot tag as the heels bump around for him. The sideshow distracts him though, which allows Swinger to attack him.
Chetti gets knocked off the apron into the metal railings and Simon hits Nova with a weapon of some kind which allows Swinger to get a Russian Leg Sweep for two. This is Doring and Roadkill’s cue to come down to get revenge for what Simon and Swinger did to them earlier. This allows Chetti to get a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver for the three count.
WINNERS: NOVA & CHETTI
Another decent tag match that furthered the storyline.
Joel Gertner makes lewd comments about people at The Network.
Tony Mamaluke tells Guido and Sal that he’s arranged a match for Guido with Mikey Whipwreck. Sal isn’t happy about this.
Guido Maritato w/ Tony Mamaluke Vs Mikey Whipwreck w/ Sinister Minister
They need better dubbed music for Mikey as they are still using Mikey’s Beck rip off theme, when he was using the Minister’s more evil theme at this stage. Mamaluke was still new to ECW at this stage after jumping from WCW and he’s trying to get into the FBI, who aren’t that interested in him joining the ranks. Mikey sets the ring bell on fire during his entrance. Interestingly “Pyromaniac” was a gimmick on EWR and I’d give it to people sometimes for want of not having any better ideas for them. I think Reno from The Natural Born Thrillers ended up getting quite over with it.
The action is fast and frantic here, with both men trading moves. It’s not especially high on psychology but it’s quite fun for what it is. Shenanigans with the seconds leads to Mamaluke giving Mikey a rana from the top rope, which allows Guido to get the Tomikaze/Pulp Friction/Unprettier for the three count.
WINNER: GUIDO MARITATO
Too short to rate, but it was energetic.
The FBI puts a beat down on Mikey following the match and tease setting him on fire, which leads to Balls Mahoney running down for the rescue. He smashes Sal with his chair, but Sal no sells it like he’s Big Bubba Rodgers and splashes Balls for good measure. Well, Paul did learn under Dusty so it makes sense that he’d steal one of his main angles.
We get clips of Justin Credible giving Dawn Marie a Tombstone at Hardcore Heaven 2000
Joey closes us out by saying that Dawn Marie is back next week and she’s going to be gunning for Francine.
Still not much in the way for hype for Heatwave, but this show was a reasonably easy watch and I like that they are trying to get feuds going amongst teams in the tag division.