The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.03.20
Taped from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur
AEW World tag team titles: Hangman Page & Kenny Omega v. Kip Sabian & Jimmy Havoc
Havoc and Sabian offer everyone the peace sign before the match in a show of good sportsmanship, but they appear to be confused because they do it backwards for some reason. Havoc slugs it out with Omega to start, but charges and runs into an elbow. But then Penelope trips up Kenny and he’s like “Ew, a girl” and allows Havoc to put him down with an elbow and work the neck to take over. Sabian comes in with a back elbow for two before working the neck in the corner. Kenny fights back with a suplex on Havoc and it’s over to Page, who hits Havoc with a corner clothesline and follows with a lariat. Ah, we’ve missed the Hangman! Kenny and Hangman double-team Havoc with chops, but Penelope comes in with a rana on Page…and he catches her and puts her down while telling the ref not to call for the DQ. So she gets tossed by the ref, but that allows Havoc to hit both faces with a wrench and go to work on Page. Really threw a spanner in the works there. Havoc beats on Page outside and Sabian gets two in the ring and then dropkicks Omega off the apron. Page fights back while Sabian stops to showboat, and its hot tag Omega. Sabian does indeed escape from the moonsault, but Kenny hits them both with ranas and then hits Sabian with a backstabber out of the corner for two. They double-team Sabian and Page hits the big boot into the Krusher and a standing moonsault for two. This time Havoc tries a hacksaw, but Page knocks it away and hits Havoc with a dive. Back in the ring, lariat on Sabian gets two. Kenny charges and misses, however, and Sabian gets a swinging DDT out of the corner. Havoc takes Kenny into Page with a death valley driver and Sabian follows with a diving footstomp onto Kenny, and then Havoc hits the elevated DDT for two as Hangman saves. Sabian boots Page down from the apron and then goes back in with a reverse rana on Kenny, but he fights back and runs the challengers together and follows with dragon suplexes on them. V-Trigger on Sabian and Page recovers enough to comes back in with a corner clothesline on both guys, and a powerbomb on Sabian to set up a knee strike to the back of the head from Kenny. And the Buckshot V-Trigger finishes Havoc at 13:38 to retain. Hot opener and I’m glad to see the champs back on the same page. ***1/2
Meanwhile, Tully reads Shawn Spears the riot act about having a missing piece of his identity and then offers him a gift in the limo…A BLACK GLOVE. If only Ted Dibiase was there to present it. Maybe Tully should just cut bait on this goof and look elsewhere. I think Billy Gunn is available or maybe the Librarian.
Brian Cage v. Shawn Dean
Cage storms the ring and hits Dean with an overhead suplex out of the corner, then sends him to the apron and suplexes him back into the ring. So apparently Fyter Fest will be two episodes of Dynamite, July 1 and July 8, instead of a streaming deal like last year. That’s fine. Drillclaw finishes at 1:25. Afterwards, Taz cuts a promo on Moxley for laughing off the challenge last week and promises that Cage will “kick the living shit” out of Mox and win the title. So this brings out Moxley, who once again appears unconcerned with the impending shit-kicking, but then cuts a fired up promo about how Cage is swimming with a different breed of shark when he gets in the ring with him. There you go, that’s all we need.
Meanwhile, Lance Archer is busy beating the shit out of some random masked geek at a demolition site, but Alex Marvez interrupts for an interview and even Jake Roberts is taken aback by Archer’s temper.
Meanwhile, Private Party have some drinks in the bar while Quen rehabs his knee, but Matt Hardy pops in to put them over and offers some advice and guidance. So Kassidy proposes they join forces as HARDY PARTY. But then Matt runs into Sammy Guevara in the hallway and apparently they’re cool. Sammy’s confused by this, but at least he doesn’t get run over by a golf cart this week. Yet.
Last week: Jungle Boy wins the battle royale and earns the title shot at Cody this week.
Chris Jericho v. Colt Cabana
Sammy sings Jericho to the ring while butchering the lyrics, as Jericho tries desperately not to crack up and mostly fails. Also Jericho’s graphic notes that this is his first singles match since “annihilating Pineapple Pete”. That’s fair. Jericho rakes the eyes and slugs away in the corner to start, but Colt fires back and throws him out, then follows with a moonsault onto Jericho and Hager. He heads up to the apron and Hager trips him up and runs him into the turnbuckle, and we take a break. Back with Jericho choking him out in the corner, but Cabana fights back before walking into a back elbow for two. Colt fights back again with the elbows and goes up with a middle rope splash for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Colt tries the superman pin, but Jericho rolls into the Walls of Jericho in a nice reversal. Colt makes the ropes while Jericho declares victory. Colt takes him down with a flying headscissors and they head up, as Colt takes him down with a rana for two. Cradle gets two. But then Colt walks into the Judas Effect at 10:00 and gets pinned. This was fun. **1/2 And then Jericho threatens Mike Tyson and wants to shove his head up his own ass. But then Orange Cassidy answers on behalf on Tyson before avoiding contact and retreating into the crowd.
Meanwhile, we check out Dr. Britt’s intensive rehab sessions, as she pulls a 5 pound weight on her wheelchair while Tony Schiavone cheers her on. This was great.
Big Swole v. Nyla Rose
I’m saddened that we don’t get Swole in the crowd tonight because she’s really found her niche out there. Swole grabs a headlock and grinds on that, into a rollup for two. Nyla tries to overpower her, but Swole wraps her up in an abdominal stretch before Nyla escapes with a hiptoss. Nyla charges and gets sent to the floor, but trips Swole on the apron and beats on her outside. We take a break and return with Nyla working a backbreaker submission, but she misses a splash and Swole makes the comeback. Running forearm in the corner and she follows with a cutter for two. Swole slugs away and puts Nyla down with a backhand shot and a pump kick for two. Swole charges and gets sent to the apron, but this time Nyla counters the cutter, so Swole clips the knee and follows with a kick to the back of the head. And then finally Nyla has had enough and hits a spear before trying the powerbomb, which Swole counters for two. But then Nyla puts her away with the short powerbomb at 9:46. Man, they gave Swole a TON of offense there and she held her own this week. This was a good match, and I don’t particularly like either girl so that’s something coming from me! ***1/4 Tony has an interview with Swole afterwards, but Dr. Britt backs her truck up to ringside and talks some shit. But then Swole grabs a chair, so Britt has the truck backed away again to escape in a funny bit.
Meanwhile, FTR sits down with Tony Schiavone, explaining that “FTR” stands for various things, like “For the Revolution” or “Fear the Rules”. They run down some of the teams they’re excited to work with, but the Young Bucks are not one of those teams. They don’t want to have a great match with the Bucks, they want to punch them in the mouth and win in 3 seconds. But then Butcher and the Blade crash the interview and FTR points out that it was just business and they can settle things in the ring NEXT WEEK.
NEXT WEEK: Colt Cabana v. Sammy Guevara! Marq Quen faces the TNT champion! Butcher & Blade v. FTR! Inner Circle v. Orange Cassidy & Best Friends! And Jon Moxley squashes some geek on Dark!
Meanwhile, Colt Cabana is pissed off about losing this week, but Brodie Lee stops by to recruit him.
TNT Championship: Cody Rhodes v. Jungle Boy
Cody takes JB down with a facelock and then switches to a headlock, but Jungle Boy gets a rana and a rollup for two. Cody fires away with chops in the corner, and then catches a rolling Jungle Boy with a powerslam for two. Cody works the knee and gets a figure-four, but Jungle Boy makes the ropes. Disaster Kick misses and JB gets a swinging DDT for two. Cody bails and JB hits him with a dive, but then he gets caught and Cody tosses him into the crowd as we take a break. Back with Jungle Boy still getting beat up on the floor, but Cody charges and manages to headbutt the wall. So Jungle Boy goes for a discussion with MJF while Cody taps an artery off-camera. Back in the ring, Jungle Boy shows some STONES and goes for the cut, then dropkicks him into the corner for a rollup that gets two. Cody puts him down with a big boot, but Jungle Boy hits a lariat for two. They head up and Cody fights him off with a stalling superplex for two, then goes back to the knee again, but JB fights off the figure-four. Back to the top rope, but this time both guys fall off and through a ringside table to destroy that. Back in, Jungle Boy blocks a sunset flip for two, but Cody puts him away with the Crossroads at 12:29. It was a good match, but Jungle Boy really needs to win some damn matches. But Cody’s crew and the Jurassic crew get together to celebrate to end the show and everyone remains friends. This was fine but it felt like Cody got all the smoke and mirrors when it wasn’t really needed. ***1/4
A very fun and entertaining show again this week as Wednesdays continue to be a highlight of my week.