Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3 Part 2

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3 Part 2
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

This is a show I’ve been trying to see for a long time now and I might as well knock it, as well as the rest of the Wrestlemania XXXV weekend series, out while I have the chance. If you have seen something from this series before, this show is going to be complete insanity but often in a good way. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Night One if you need a recap.

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3 Part 1

No opening video here, mainly because the show didn’t start until after 12:30am due to the ROH/New Japan show running WAY late.

Jungle Boy vs. Joey Janela

Janela has Penelope Ford with him and it’s a F*** ROH chant to start things off. Boy starts fast with a running hurricanrana and an armdrag out of the corner. They don’t bother staring it down as Janela hits a chop in the corner, followed by a rather hard superkick. Boy comes back with his own superkick, followed by another exchange of superkicks. That gives us the required Young Bucks/AEW references until Boy turns him inside out with a clothesline.

Boy knocks him to the floor and hits back to back suicide dives into those plastic chairs. Back in and Janela catches him on top for a reverse fisherman’s buster onto the apron. That’s only good for a one back inside so Janela stomps on the ribs. They chop the heck out of each other until Boy spears him through the ropes. The Jungle Cutter (exactly what you think it is) gives Boy two so it’s Ford coming in with a top rope hurricanrana.

Boy isn’t having any of this and gives her a Backstabber out of the corner. Janela is back up with a spinning Trapper Keeper bomb for a very near call so he asks the fans who he is. That means a song that I don’t recognize but Boy runs him over. A Lionsault is countered into a dragon sleeper of all things (that’s not bad) but Boy is in the ropes in a hurry.

The camel clutch is broken up even faster so Boy takes it to the apron for the Death Valley Driver to plant Janela. Boy hits a springboard flip dive to knock out Janela and a bunch of chairs, freaking Ford out even more. Back in and Janela snaps off a Tombstone for two but since no one sells at this show (just how it’s going to work), Boy is already up top but Janela, with the crazy eyes, is up there with him for a top rope brainbuster.

That’s good for one and Boy nips up (Colorado: “WHAT THE F***???”), followed by a superkick for two on Janela. They trade snap German suplexes with both of them popping right back up and then hitting two more each. With that not working, Janela grabs a choke but Boy reverses into something like a raised full nelson to make Janela tap at 13:31.

Rating: C+. One thing to keep in mind on this show is that it isn’t going to be like most regular events. This is all about action and not psychology, so don’t waste your time on a bunch of stuff that isn’t going to be there. Boy looked good here and it isn’t a surprise that he became a thing in AEW. Janela….well it’s his show and you can only be so mean to him so we’ll move on.

They shake hands post match.

I’m assuming they’ve edited out all of the transitional stuff between matches, which is a little annoying given that the show is still full price over a year after it took place but how much could be missing?

LAX vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is the match that made me want to watch the show, just for the pure spectacle. The fans are very glad to see the hometown LAX and then declare the whole thing awesome just after the bell. Gibson and Santana start things off with Gibson claiming a hair pull to take him into the corner. Santana gets taken into the corner as well and that’s good for a standoff.

A hiptoss takes Santana down and Ortiz comes in to get one as well. It’s off to Morton for the right hand to the ribs into the Million Dollar knee lift to send LAX outside. Fans: “NEVER LOST IT!” The Express take over on Santana’s arm and, after drawing Ortiz in, do the fake clap tag, which feels a little wrong coming from them. Ortiz comes in and is armdragged straight into a wristlock but it’s a snap powerslam to put Morton down.

Gibson is told to suck it and that is just wrong on so many levels. A shot to Morton’s arm brings in Gibson for the failed save, allowing LAX to double team in the corner. I can always go for something so simple that still works so well. Ortiz misses a charge in the corner though and it’s a hot tag to Gibson as everything breaks down. The Express is sent into each other but Santana clotheslines Ortiz by mistake.

Ortiz drops a leg on Gibson and adds a top rope splash. Morton dives in for the save and keeps going, landing a Canadian Destroyer on Santana. The threat of the double dropkick sends LAX outside so Morton dives onto both of them. Santana has to dive in for a save and it’s a double superkick to Gibson. A double clothesline drops LAX but Morton gets sent into the corner for an assisted Cannonball and the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C+. This is a match that had no business being any good due to the age situation but the Express came out there and somehow made the thing work. It was a decent enough match and my goodness I can’t believe they almost pulled that off. LAX is a great team and the Express hung in there with them well enough. Good stuff here.

Post match, LAX shows respect, offering hugs and bows. The SPRING BREAK chant breaks out but Ortiz wants a ROCK AND ROLL one instead. They even exchange bandannas in a great moment.

LA Park vs. Masato Tanaka

They chop it out to start with Park knocking him down in the corner and hitting the shaky knees dance. A clothesline drops Tanaka for two and there’s a chair shot to the head. Tanaka no sells it as is his custom and the roaring elbow gives Tanaka two. Park’s snap powerslam gets two, followed by a whip with the belt. Tanaka fights up and knocks him to the floor for the big dive but Park sends Tanaka into the apron.

There’s a chair to the back and a slam onto the empty chairs, meaning it’s time to bring in some doors. Park drives him through one of the doors for two and it’s time to go up. Tanaka is right back up with a superplex, followed by a splash for two. Back up and Park spears him through a table for the sudden pin at 9:40.

Rating: D+. Just a brawl here and something that has been done a lot better elsewhere. Park is someone who is a lot better when he gets to show off his amazing charisma that was only somewhat on display here. Tanaka looks exactly the same as he did back in ECW and I can see why fans would want to see him around some more. Not a terrible match, but nothing that felt like it belonged on a major show.

So we have about an hour and a half left in the show and it’s time for the main event.

The Greatest Cluster****

Oh boy what am I getting myself into. So it’s a Royal Rumble and you are eliminated by pinfall, submission, being thrown over the top (dives DO NOT count), if you leave the arena, or if you die. The Necro Butcher (looking old and very different without a shirt) is in at #1 and, after Butcher eliminates referee Bryce Remsburg, Nick Gage is in at #2. I’m not sure if the bell rings but they lock up and shove each other a bit until Gage is sent to the apron. Shlak and Markus Crane come out together, I guess as #3 combined, who bring in their own door.

Butcher punches Crane down and slugs it out with Shlak, with Gage watching like a fan from the apron. They go to their knees and it’s Georgie Boy, with a rubber chicken, in at #4. Gage and Crane jump him immediately and Gage beats Georgie down with the chicken. The door is set up in the corner and Georgie goes through it, allowing Crane and Shlak to beat him down with the pieces.

Swoggle is in at #5 and superkicks Shlak down. Everyone brawls around the ropes until Arik Cannon is in at #6. Gage is waiting on him for the slugout as Swoggle seems to bite Butcher’s foot. A low blow with the rubber chicken keeps Butcher down as Shlak tosses Georgie out. Cannon is busted so Gage rips at the cut and it’s Joe Gacy in at #7 to go after both of them. Crane can’t hold Gacy up so he goes with a sloppy dragon sleeper instead. Brian Pillman Jr. is in at #8 and brawls with Gage as well, earning himself a sitout powerbomb out of the corner.

Crane and Shlak double belly to back suplex Pillman for two and… are Nate Webb and Marko Stunt for a concert from the crowd. They sing/play Teenage Dirtbag as an unnamed man dances around ringside. Pillman dives onto Gacy and some guy in a mask takes Webb out. It’s Maxwell Jacob Friedman, who gets in (at #9, assuming Stunt and Webb don’t count) to go after Pillman as Crane is eliminated.

Swoggle unloads on MJF in the corner as Gage seems to have been eliminated somewhere in there. Joey Ryan is in at #10 (Colorado: “AND VIEWERSHIP HAS SKYROCKETED IN THE LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY AREA!”) and we pause for the full baby oil. Sweet Tooth Music hits Cannon and MJF hurts himself on a low blow attempt. Sexxxy Eddy is in at #11 and he wants Ryan. That means oil on Eddy’s chest as Cannon stops for a beer. The match just stops while Joey and Eddy rub their chests until Effy is in at #12.

Ryan pulls off Eddy’s towel….and he is indeed naked under there. Eddy knocks Ryan into the corner and a dropkick sends him into Ryan (you can imagine how this goes), with Effy kicking Eddy into him over and over. Mick Moretti is in at #13 as Eddy manages a moonsault (while managing to keep his hands in a specific place). Cannon rolls Eddy up for the elimination and it’s Marko Stunt officially in at #14. Logan Stunt, who looks even younger than Marko, is in at #15 (or maybe part of #14 as I’m completely lost on keeping the numbers).

Marko saves Logan from Necro and it’s time for the brothers to argue. Butcher gets rid of Logan but can’t quite put Marko out. Team White Wolf are in at #16 (A-Kid and Carlos Romo, who are announced together) and a double superkick gets rid of Pillman. Kobe Durst is in at #17 and goes after White Wolf. That goes nowhere, so it’s Swoggle grabbing Joey’s it….and throwing him out by it in a big upset.

Egotistico Fantastico is in at #18 and the fans seem pleased to see him. Gacy eliminates himself for some reason (I think?) and Egotistico hits a double jump springboard for two on Durst. As you might be able to guess, the eliminations don’t exactly mean much here. G-Raver is in at #19 and busts out the hypodermic needles (yep) to stab Swoggle in the head. Swoggle rips them out and German suplexes Raver, but Cannon superkicks Swoggle for the elimination.

Kikutaro (in a Cleveland Indians jersey for an improvement) is in at #20 as Moretti is out. After sticking his fingers in various areas on various people, he uses the smell to knock them out, only to have Bryce Remsburg put Kikutaro’s fingers in Kikutaro’s mouth. That knocks him out as well and Kikutaro gets dog piled for the elimination. Teddy Hart, with cat, is in at #21 as G-Raver hits a top rope double knee to Shlak.

Cannon brainbusters Romo for the pin and then backdrops A-Kid out as Hart walks around with the cat. Homicide is in at #22 as the cat is taken to the floor. Everyone (include Gacy, who wasn’t out) stops for the Hart vs. Homicide showdown, with Homicide grabbing a wristlock of all things. That’s broken up so Hart spits in his face and fires off an uppercut. Cryme of all people are in at #23 and dang I miss that theme (historical note: this is being written the week of Shad Gaspard’s death so this is kind of hard to see actually).

They slug it out with Homicide and Hart, the latter of whom is low bridged out. Shad and Homicide fight on the floor (without an elimination) and Cannon gets rid of Shlak. Egotistico powerbombs Durst for an elimination and things settle down a bit. Cannon and Fantastico head outside for a breather, leaving MJF, Gacy, Butcher and G-Raver in the ring (there are a lot more still in, though not inside at the moment).

Grim Reefer is in at #24 and he dives off the stage onto someone. Homicide and Shad gets back in with the former hitting a cutter on Reefer. For some reason Homicide goes up and Reefer shoves him out for the elimination. JTG and Cannon get back in and the Ugly Ducklings (Colby Corino, Lance Lude and Rob Killjoy with Coach Mikey) are in at #25. Colby needs two tried to tornado DDT Reefer and it’s Slim J in at #26.

There goes Reefer and Slim J hits a sloppy tornado DDT of his own on Corino. Slim J beats up all of the Ducklings and then hits a huge dive to the floor onto a bunch of people. Facade is in at #27 and kicks away at the Ducklings as well. Lude is put onto Killjoy’s shoulders and Facade’s rope walk kick to the chest makes Lude reverse hurricanrana his partner for a big crash. MJF gets rid of Shad and then JTG to clear the ring a bit, and of course does JTG’s dance on the ropes for a bonus. Butcher knocks MJF down and it’s Gringo Loco in at #28.

Loco hits a Swanton onto Raver and then flips away from Killjoy in the corner. A Spanish Fly hits Killjoy and it’s AJ Gray in at #29. He clotheslines the Ducklings down to continue a pretty funny running gag. Colby gets powerbombed into Killjoy in the corner and there’s a Steiner Screwdriver to Lude. Gray hits a big corkscrew dive onto a bunch of people but here’s Ophidian in at #30 for a Meteora on Gray, followed by the suicide dive to the floor. Now it’s the Ducklings hitting their own running flip dives, giving us a QUACK QUACK chant. Rich Swann is in at #31 and dropkicks Killjoy, followed by a super hurricanrana for a bonus.

Swann adds his own big corkscrew dive, followed by Facade’s springboard 450 onto the bigger pile. Cannon doesn’t bother with a dive so Butcher knocks him down with a right hand. Dustin Thomas (the wrestler with no legs) is in at #32 for a 619 to Fantastico. The Swanton connects to get rid of Fantastico and the NO LEGS chant (to the OLE tune) is on. Now it’s Dustin hitting his own flip dive onto the pile (GET BACK INSIDE ALREADY!) and it’s Stunt vs. Loco. MJF breaks that up and here are Nate Webb and Brendan Brown (lead singer of the band Wheatus, who sing Teenage Dirtbag) in at #33.

Brown kicks MJF low and hits a Diamond Cutter for the surprise elimination. Facade hits another big springboard spinning dive….and literally misses everyone as Parrow and Odinson (two big monsters) are in at #34. They Super Collide the Ducklings and FINALLY throw out Lude’s unconscious body. Killjoy is thrown out as well, followed by Colby in short order. Loco follows the three of them and it’s Shane Mercer in at #35.

Gray gets beaten up and tossed out, followed by a European uppercut Doomsday Device to Facade. He’s out as well and Parrow stomps on Dustin, followed by the elimination. Swann kicks Parrow in the face to no effect as it’s a Fire Thunder Driver to plant him. Mercer, who is rather muscular himself, can’t do much to Odinson and Parrow until he sends Odinson into the corner. Mercer adds a rather impressive delayed vertical suplex drops Parrow (who is built similar to Braun Strowman), followed by a moonsault fall away slam to Odinson.

That’s enough to get rid of Odinson and Parrow as Tony Deppen is in at #36, but first we need some crowd surfing. That takes so long that it’s Jake Atlas and Lucas Riley in at #37. The two of them go after Mercer with some springboard takedowns but Butcher comes back in with a chair. Australian Suicide is in at #38 as Gacy is slammed onto a chair. Commentary says we’re at forty entrants and….again does it matter all that much? Kyle The Beast is in at #39 so Deppen blows his nose on him.

A big powerbomb gets rid of Deppen and Kyle throws Atlas and Riley around without much effort. Mercer and Kyle have the big power showdown and it’s Caveman Ugg in at #40. Kyle Stuns Suicide out and it’s Crowbar (looking ancient yet tough) in at #40. A super hurricanrana gets two on Gacy and Raver armdrags Kyle a few times. Matt Tremont is in at #41 and goes after Butcher as Gacy swings a chair at various people.

Mercer tosses Atlas and Riley as Crowbar suplexes Gacy onto the chair for another elimination. Grizzly Redwood (the Littlest Lumberjack) is in to go after Mercer as Ugg moonsaults Crowbar for another elimination. Tremont runs Swann over with a clothesline and it’s Chris Dickinson and Pinkie Sanchez in at #42. Dickinson needs some time to powerbomb Redwood before stomping on Butcher in the corner.

Michael Blais is in at #43 and he is immediately followed by Kit Osbourne and Frankie Pickard at #44. The two of them start fighting each other in a hurry and a double suplex puts Butcher down. NWO Sting is in at #45 (and towers over most of the match) for some forearms and it’s Tracy Smothers, with cane, in at #46. Chops and right hands abound until Mantaur is in at #47. With nothing going on, Matt Knicks is in at #48. NWO Sting is out and it’s Cecil Nyx in at #49 to lift Swann up, walk him around ringside, and then suplex him. Dickinson dumps Smothers and it’s Jimmy Lloyd in at #50.

Lloyd beats up Nyx, leaving Raver and Tremont to headbutt each other out. Masashi Takeda is in at #51 and immediately goes after Lloyd. Jeff Cannonball is in at #52 as even commentary can’t remember how many people are involved. Mercer is out and Takeda follows him to the floor. Ethan Page is in at #53 and beats up various people until Essa Rios is in at #54 (Denver: “If we dug up Mantaur, why not Essa Rios?”). Nyx gets faceplanted for an elimination and Butcher is tossed after an hour and sixteen minutes.

It’s time for another door as Maria Manic… not here actually. Cue about seven women from the crowd (including Ashley Vox, Shazza McKenzie, Allie Kat, Session Moth Martina, Su Yung, Maria Manic and more) as Rios is out. Tremont and Page are put through doors as the women get in to start beating up the men. Raver stares Martina down so she spits beer in his face and hits him with a DDT. Stunt can’t powerbomb Vox, who reverses into White Noise.

Ophidian gets bulldogged onto a table and it’s time to beat up Frank the Clown (who was standing by the entrance). The women take turns kicking him low and it’s Lloyd’s turn to get destroyed. Here are the light tubes, all of which are broken over various parts of Lloyd. The fans want PCO but settle for Dickinson getting beaten up instead.

Two tables are brought in and Maria superplexes Dickinson through both of them. The referees are beaten up and Yung Mandible Claws one of them in the corner. Referee Aubrey Edwards is allowed to leave and here’s Joey Janela himself to get choked on the ropes to end the show, meaning the main event is a no contest at we’ll say about 1:25:00.

Rating: C+. I have no earthly idea what to call this one so we’ll go with slightly above average, even with the….I guess the word is joke (?) ending. Normally my criticism would be that the match was a mess, but looking at the title, that’s what they were going for here. This was definitely more of a match for the live crowd and I can go with that, as one of the best times I’ve ever had at a show was a similar match at the WrestleCon SuperShow. I think I liked this, even though it didn’t have a ton of star power and featured a lot of interchangeable indy wrestlers. It’s a lot of fun, but the ending could be very, very annoying.

Overall Rating: C-. This was definitely the weaker of the two shows, but it’s certainly not bad. The main event is going to be divisive as it feels like they ran out of time to come up with a good ending, which can happen. What we got was memorable, but the first night was a blast and this was more like a show that existed for the sake of having one (very, very) long song and dance to end the indy half of the weekend. It was a good enough show, but the first night is a lot more fun (albeit with a weaker main event).

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