Superstars, Bro!

Hey Scott–

Loving the new batch of Superstars we got on the Network, and eagerly awaiting your reviews and takes on certain goings-on (the music video… the music video…)

Anyway, let's compound the misery and frustration of our current times with a depressing fantasy question; Vince Russo gets to book the 92'-'93 era of Superstars; what are the top three catastrophically stupid things he does to ruin our enjoyment of the show?

Bret Hart gets tripped up by the clown on the way to the ring in December.  Immediately challenges him to a World title match.  Loses the belt to the clown in a two minute match.  Clown goes backstage for an interview, where he reveals that he was just acting like a clown and he's actually Matt Borne and he was sick of being a lumberjack in WCW.  Brings out brand new gear by the end of the show and vows never to be a clown again.  Drops the title back to Bret in another two minute match on the next episode thanks to interference from the debuting Lex Luger, and immediately goes back to being a clown again and the World title reign and new identity are never mentioned again.  Clown still doesn't have a name, but everyone is assumed to know that it's Doink because it was mentioned on the internet.  Next week, Bret has a match scheduled with Luger despite Lex not being legally able to compete due to still having a contract with WCW and also not being medically cleared due to his motorcycle accident.  Luger comes in and lays down so that Bret can pin him, revealing that they were working together the whole time.  Bret and Lex are now the top heels for some reason and the unnamed clown is the top babyface. 

Something like that.