The SmarK Rant for NWA Houston Wrestling – 06.22.80
Oh man, if NWA Powerrr is gonna be delayed for a long while, I’m totally fine with Billy Corgan posting THESE instead every Tuesday night. Houston is actually one of the few territories where someone OTHER than Vince bought up the footage, so hopefully they keep pumping these out. I seem to recall the NWA trying a streaming service with this footage before Corgan took over, so obviously there’s lots of it.
Taped from Houston, TX
Your host is Paul Boesch, of course.
Brought to you by EDDIE’S MOBILE HOMES! Also, “Love TV and Stereo Rental”. This is already amazing. The Love TV guy showing off the “Remote control portable”, which looks like a 50 pound CRT, might be the highlight of the show and it hasn’t even started.
BUT FIRST, Dusty Rhodes tells us all about Stanback pain powder. Yeah they were certainly into their powders in the 80s.
We also get a quick feature on Paul Boesch from “The Eyes of Texas”, profiling the famous promoter.
Texas Heavyweight title: Gino Hernandez v. Sicodelico
Sicodelico is another brother of Mil Mascaras and Dos Caras, which would make him Alberto Del Rio’s uncle. This is 2 out of 3 falls. Sicodelico tries to overpower Gino but gets slammed, and then comes back with kicks from the mat and chases Gino out of the ring. Back in, Sicodelico tries a full nelson, but Gino breaks free, so he turns it into a surfboard instead. Gino fights out of that, but Sicodelico ties him up in the move we now call the Paradise Lock, and Gino runs away again. Back in, Sicodelico keeps Gino off-kilter with flips, so Gino bails to the floor again and then gets a cheapshot to take over. Sicodelico bails to the apron and Gino runs him into the post shoulder-first and Sicodelico has to shake it off out there. Back in, he tries a springboard bodypress (which is impressive for 1980!) but it goes badly and he falls on his face instead. I feel think tighter ropes would have helped. Suddenly he hops up to the top rope with a crossbody for the pin at 8:06 to win the first fall, though. Impressive finish there!
Second fall after a word from JJ Furniture, where cash is king and you save money! And of course, Eddie’s Mobile Homes. The guy shilling them is a dead ringer for Ron Burgundy so you KNOW you can trust them. Anyway, Gino attacks Sicodelico before the bell and tosses him like the proverbial sack of crap before running him into the concrete outside. Back in, Gino does what appears to be some moves like Jagger (were the Rolling Stones even around back in 1980? That was a long time ago! Maybe Mick stole his moves from Gino!), but Sicodelico flips into the ring and makes a comeback with a backdrop and Boston crab. Gino makes the ropes to escape that. Gino with the nerve pinch and he drops a knee and then clotheslines him on the top rope a few times and then goes up with his god-awful flying elbow for the pin at 16:25 to even things up.
And yes I know the Rolling Stones were around in 1980.
Third fall after a word from Mr. Norman, who is the man you can trust. Also, have you THOUGHT about owning a mobile home? Maybe you can furnish it from JJ Furniture, with their beautiful sofa beds. As long as you have cash. Gino attacks just before the bell again and backdrops Sicodelico before going after the mask, unsuccessfully. Sicodelico escapes to the floor and then gets all fired up, which results in Gino hiding in the corner like a coward until Sicodelico brings him out with a slam and drops elbows on him. Airplane spin and both guys are dizzy, but Sicodelico tries his springboard crossbody again and misses this time. Gino gets two off that, but PICKS HIM UP. Gino drops an elbow and picks him up again, so the ref calls for the DQ at 23:45 for being too much of a dick. And then Mark Lewin runs down after the decision and attacks both Gino and Gary Hart, preventing them from taking the mask. Gino had worlds of charisma but moved like a drunken gazelle. This was fine, though, and Sicodelico had some cool lucha stuff for the time. ***
And now, another word from Love TV, as those DARN DC BUREAUCRAT FATCATS are killing the country with inflation and hard times, but you can always rent to own a microwave!
Harley Race joins us, and he’s sick of being pushed into stuff by Paul Boesch, like facing Mil Mascaras, the TORTILLA CANNIBAL FROM MEXICO. There was even rumors in Tokyo that Mil had beaten him for the title, but it’s all LIES. Hell of a promo from Harley.
Paul Boesch reminds us that TONIGHT, in the Houston Coliseum, Race defends the 10 Pounds of Gold against Mil Mascaras where NO DISQUALIFICATIONS WILL BE CALLED. And we get words from Mil as well building up the match. Also, Gino Hernandez defends the “US American” title against Bruiser Brody. So we get words from Brody as well, in a very different promo than we’re used to from him, more like an angry redneck rather than the barbarian wildman he became later. Gino has a response for the “big stupid water buffalo” and also thinks Andre the Giant should be called Andre the FREAK. Man, with Boesch standing next to Gino, you have to wonder about those rumors…
Andre the Giant joins Paul Boesch and goes over his heritage, as his mother was from Poland and his father from Bulgaria, but he was born in France. He was playing football in Europe and stopped by a gym where wrestlers were working out, and they pulled him into the business. Andre shows off his size 22 boots and Paul jokes that they had to kill 2 cows to make them. Was there anyone more charming than Andre?
Superstar Billy Graham v. Tiger Conway Jr.
Holy crap, Superstar is a dead ringer for Corporate NXT Creator HHH! Like you’d seriously think Hunter went back in time. Another 2 out of 3 falls event here, which hopefully gives us lots of time to learn about mobile homes and discount furniture. Graham jaws with the front row to start and stalls while Boesch notes that Graham had recently shaved off his long blond locks and grew out a bushy beard, which is why most probably won’t recognize him. Just like HHH! Graham stalls and STALLS and finally locks up with Tiger, who gets a forearm on the ropes. Superstar grabs the house mic and demands a new referee right now! Sadly, he does not get his request, and Tiger slugs away in the corner, sending Graham running to the floor again. Back in, Graham wraps him up in a bearhug, but Tiger escapes and shakes his ass to send Graham running to the apron in fear. Back in, Superstar bitches to the ref about this and that and the other thing, but he rakes the face to take over as Boesch notes that Graham likes to “mix it up with rough-house tactics”. I bet that’s where Vince took that line from. Graham chokes away on the ropes, but Conway reverses to his own choking and Superstar begs for a timeout and calls for mercy. So Conway rakes the face and gets two. Graham tries to crawl to the apron while looking for a rope that was left out there, so Tiger outsmarts him and chokes him out with the rope instead. Back in, Superstar begs for a 5:00 rest period to regroup and then suckers Tiger into the corner and chokes him out with a tag rope. Graham uses the CLUBBING FOREARMS and stomps the mat like a parody of a bad wrestler, but Conway comes back and slugs away before headbutting Graham into the corner. But then Graham catches him with a bearhug and Tiger dramatically fights it before passing out at 13:05.
Second fall with more from Love TV first, and you can even rent a microwave for “the lady in the kitchen”. Well that’s handy. I know my lady would appreciate if I rented her a microwave to help with all the cooking. I could probably make that her birthday present! Graham pounds Tiger down for two to start the second fall and goes to another bearhug. Tiger is fading again and Graham holds him down for two and then picks him up and continues squeezing him, but Tiger is too sweaty and slips out for a brief comeback. But then Graham just goes back to it AGAIN, this time forcing Conway to headbutt out of it. Tiger makes the comeback and slugs away to set up a pair of dropkicks, and Tiger goes up with a flying headbutt for the second fall at 20:42.
Before the third fall, we get a word from Leonard’s Department Store. Now open Sundays! Graham begs off to start the fall, but Tiger storms in and pounds him down before doing a Garvin Stomp for two. Two more headbutts send Graham flying out to the floor, and he throws a chair into the ring while he’s out there. Tiger hits him with it and wedges it into the corner and I’m pretty sure that this is gonna backfire on him. And indeed, Graham immediately runs him into his own chair and gets the pin at 24:12. Graham was pretty damn awful after his WWF run. *
Don’t forget to get tickets for the Houston Coliseum tonight (or tomorrow if you’re watching on Saturday night), and if you can fit your hand into Andre’s bronzed arm bust you win two tickets to next Friday’s show, too!
And Paul Boesch gives us a word from his kitchen about Blue Ribbon Smoked Sausage to close things out, complete with a recipe book with TWENTY WAYS to prepare sausage. Whoever wrote that book must have had some imagination, I tell you what.
MORE OF THIS. FOR THE LOVE OF MOBILE HOMES AND RENT TO OWN APPLIANCES PLEASE KEEP SHOWING THIS, CORGAN!