Well, the world’s gone a bit mad hasn’t it? Here’s a review of ECW Hardcore TV to hopefully distract you all from it. Good tidings to all.
Let’s watch some chuffing wrestling!
This week’s matches were taped from Winston, Virginia
Calling the action is Joey Styles
We open up with a promo from Danny Doring and Roadkill, where Doring makes lots of nasty comments about former valet Elektra.
Joey is in front of the ECW Banner, where he says that if Elektra’s men lose tonight then she’s stated that she’ll strip down to her birthday suit. That’s one heck of a hook for the rest of the show, I’ll give em that.
We cut to Lou E. Dangerously, Elektra, CW Anderson and Bill Wiles in the ring, where Lou E is doing his usual cheap heat shtick of insulting the fans and telling them to shut up. Lou E declares himself to be the best manager in wrestling, and threatens to send CW into the crowd to slap them all if they disagree.
The New Dangerous Alliance w/ Lou E. Dangerously and Elektra Vs Danny Doring and Roadkill
We take a break during Doring and Roadkill’s entrance and come back with them shining on the heels. However, Doring gets cut off with a slam and gets worked over in the heel corner for a bit. Wiles and CW are a good solid middle of the card heel tag team, who know how to work the formula as well as delivering the odd flashy move.
Doring manages to dodge a CW charge in the corner and tags in Roadkill, who runs wild on the heels and gets a big side slam on Wiles before bringing in Doring for the Lancaster Lariat of Lust (Hart Attack) on CW. Roadkill tries to come off the top with a big splash to CW, but Lou E shoves him off through a table. That allows CW to pounce on Doring with a Spine Buster for the win.
WINNERS: THE NEW DANGEROUS ALLIANCE
Too short to be anything more, but it was fine for an abbreviated TV opener that keeps the feud alive.
Doring pulls of Elektra’s robe post-match to reveal and very, err, revealing bikini, complete with G-string.
Joey is back in front of the ECW Banner, where he sends us to a match between Rob Van Dam and Little Spike Dudley from a previous date because both men are currently out injured due to Rhino and The Network.
Rob Van Dam w/ Bill Alfonso Vs Little Spike Dudley
This is joined in process, with Spike getting a bit of a shine before taking a somersault splash. RVD kicks Spike off the top rope down to the floor, but Spike fights back by leaping off the apron onto RVD with a cannonball. The fight continues outside, with RVD getting the better of it. Bill Alfonso ends up getting into a vulgar argument with a fan at ringside, which leads to a nearly 30 second bleep of the audio as a result.
I really think they go over the top with censoring the bad language on these ECW shows sometimes. It’s supposed to be an “extreme” product aimed at adults. Just put it behind a parental lock and leave it at that. I do have to wonder what they’ll do to ICW and PROGRESS if they ever end up on The WWE Network actually, as those shows have plenty of adult content and language as well.
Anyway, back in the ring RVD continues to control things, with Spike mostly taking all of his big moves and selling. To be honest, if I was to structure a match between these two that’s probably the way I’d do it too. It makes the best use of their skill sets, because Spike is great at selling and making comebacks whilst RVD is good at delivering big moves and having a star aura.
Spike gets a few desperation roll ups now and then to show that he’s still alive, but RVD always takes control again soon after with some form of devastating move, such as dropkicking poor Spike right out of the air after lifting him up there. Spike keeps fighting though and manages to block an RVD attempt at a superplex before delivering a tornado DDT onto a chair that Alfonso threw into the ring, before dropkicking the chair in RVD’s face for two.
Spike rana’s RVD to the floor next before following with a big suicide dive, sending both men over the guardrail into the front row. Spike delivers the Acid Drop next, driving RVD throat first into the railing, before hitting him with a chair for good measure. Spike Dudley is just so great at playing the scrappy smaller man underdog, his matches should be required viewing for anyone thinking of playing that sort of character.
Spike gets a rana onto a chair back inside, which doesn’t really work because the rana is more of a roll than a head dropping move (Unless you’re doing the classic Scott Steiner version of the move where he quite literally spikes you on your head) but I appreciate the fact they were thinking outside the box. Acid Drops looks to finish, but RVD counters if by throwing Spike off onto a pile of chairs before delivering the Rolling Thunder for two. RVD slams Spike onto the chairs and then delivers a Five Star Frogsplash, and not surprisingly that is enough to end it.
WINNER: ROB VAN DAM
That one built really well, with Spike selling and selling until the crowd got into it before getting a bunch of hope spots and near falls until RVD was finally able to finish him off.
Justin Credible and Jason head down to the ring for Credible’s match with Chris Chetti. Joey pushes on commentary that The Impact Players have been swerving defending their belts against the team of Nova and Chetti.
Justin Credible w/ Jason and Lance Storm Vs Chris Chetti
It’s good action to start, as Chetti gets a babyface shine with Credible bumping and feeding well for him. Credible manages to get a super kick however and starts working Chetti over. Credible is just fine as a worker when he’s allowed to just go out there and work a normal match (Which I think gets forgotten a lot of the time) and the heat segment is fine, if unremarkable.
Credible tries to drive a chair into Chetti from the top rope, but Chetti gets his foot up to send the chair into Credible’s face and then follows up with a side kick for two. Chetti catapults Credible into the turnbuckle and follows up with a school boy, but Jason takes the ref so he can’t count. Lance Storm runs down, but he catches his partner by mistake and that allows Chetti to get a fireman’s carry into a slam for the three count.
WINNER: CHRIS CHETTI
This was fine. Bit on the short side but the work wasn’t bad and it did the job of giving Chetti a win to keep him and Nova in the Title picture.
The Impact Players of Justin Credible and Lance Storm lay out Chetti post-match with a spiked piledriver, which leads to Nova running down to chase them off before grabbing a mic and challenging Storm to a match right away.
Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie, Jason and Justin Incredible Vs Nova
Joey pushes on commentary that this is basically 4 on 1 here, which is either to give Nova an out for losing or to make his eventual victory look even more heroic. Either way, it’s decent commentary. Nova gets a bit of a flurry to start but Storm cuts him off and then starts working him over. Nova manages to catch Storm with The Sledge-O-Matic (Powerbomb into an elbow to the groin) and then follows up with the Kryptonite Krunch (Air Raid Crash) but the ref gets bumped in the process.
Dawn comes in to help Storm, but she gets take out by Jazz, as does Jason, but Credible then takes out her with a shot from a Singapore Cane. Heel miscommunication sees Storm accidentally kick Credible, which allows Nova to catch Strom with the Novocaine (Complete Shot) to pick up the upset victory.
Too short to rate really, it was more of an elongated angle.
Nova also gets laid out post-match, but Joey thinks Nova and Chetti will certainly be in Title contention now.
Joey sends us to clips from the TNN show, where it’s revealed that Jeff Jones put a bounty on Tommy Dreamer, which leads to his client Mike Awesome taking out both Dreamer and Raven. Well, I guess that’s it for the short-lived Awesome and Raven tag team, with Awesome and Dreamer now apparently set to feud. Oh my word, that’s a terrible feud. Awesome Vs Raven has potential though and it looks like they can do it now as well. They could have milked that team for much longer.
The Impact Players are in a corridor, where they challenge Nova and Chetti for a Tag Title match. I’ll be honest, I spent most of the promo looking at Dawn Marie in her lovely pink outfit.
Hey look, actual feuds and storyline advancement, fancy that! I must say that Tommy Dreamer Vs Mike Awesome doesn’t especially fill me with excitement, especially as I can’t picture anyway that the broken down Dreamer could be any sort of potential threat to the towering monster World Champion, but I guess they’re going to try regardless.
The two tag feuds in the mid card are ticking along nicely though, with Storm and Credible especially working hard to make Nova and Chetti look like they deserve to be in the Title picture. I can’t see the younger guys getting the belts, but if they give a good account of themselves in a losing effort then it should hopefully stand them in good stead.
I mean, the only thing that could spoil that feud would be if the Champs got randomly broken up because one of them got an ill-advised Main Event singles push whilst the other jumped to WCW, and how likely is THAT to happen?!?!