Princess Rant for Dark Side of the Ring (Season 2, Episode 2)

This Episode is titled “The Life and Crimes of New Jack”

Might as well do this and move on.

First things first: Because of the change in Wrestlemania plans I’m guessing we’ll just do a thread for each night rather than the hourly threads we’ve done in the past.

Anyway, on to the show.

Jim Cornette starts by saying he has no idea if anything New Jack (real name Jerome Young) every told him about his upbringing was true or false. He’s heard he was a bounty hunter and has some justifiable homicides to his name.

D-Lo Brown, who looks like he’s just starting to get on the Paul Heyman diet, says New Jack is the real deal. The Sandman says he’s like the toughest guy slinging drugs on the mean streets of Harlem…clearly someone hasn’t been to Harlem in a while.

New Jack was trained by Ray Candy, an old Bill Watts hand. He told New Jack to create something that had never been seen before. He got his name from the Wesley Snipes movie “New Jack City” of course.

Cornette said that New Jack brought a special energy and could project a menacing aura. He was useful in Smoky Mountain’s attempt to get into the Atlanta market. Cornette describes New Jack’s personality as if Eddie Murphy was a bad guy wrestler instead of a comedian.

Cornette’s instructions to New Jack was to “go out and piss some white people off”. There’s a funny promo where New Jack sends a shout out to O.J. Simpson and says “keep up the good work”.

He paired New Jack with Mustafa Saed and they became “The Gangstas”. A clip of Bob Caudle looking horrified while New Jack threatens all the “caucasian white devils” out there gives me a chuckle.

Sandman said Mustafa was a nut job and used to smoke pencil shaves that he rolled into a blunts.

Cornette wants to get the Gangstas into the title hunt and they do it by re-enacting the Rodney King beatings but with the Gangstas doing it to Ricky Morton…boy you can only imagine how awesome Morton was in THAT role. The Gangstas needed police escorts to leave the building that night.

The NAACP of Knoxville complains about the Gangstas and in a promo New Jack says he’s not one of those “home-grown monkeys”.

Anyway the goal was achieved. They were pretty much the top heels in the history of the Smoky Mountain promotion. So the Gangstas moved on to ECW. Cornette said they couldn’t have gone much farther in Smoky Mountain. ECW was the place where wrestlers went too far on a regular basis and New Jack wanted to go farther than any of them.

Sandman said he loved New Jack when he met him. He had a swagger that he enjoyed.

D-Lo said New Jack is as violent as he is because of his upbringing.

New Jack said his childhood was fucked up and relays a story of his dad stabbing his mom and eventually his mom leaving and his Dad shooting her as she tried to leave.

We get into the Mass Transit incident and midget wrestler Tiny the Terrible is introduced. Mass Transit used to work against the midget wrestlers. He was 17 and told people he was 20. Axl Rotten missed a show. Mass Transit goes into the business for himself (he was originally to work with the midget wrestlers) and says he’ll take his place. Heyman tells New Jack to go seven minutes and mess him up.

Mass Transit asked New Jack if he could get some offense in. Bad mistake.

Sandman laughs upon hearing this “so THAT’s what pissed Jack off!”

New Jack says about blading Mass Transit he didn’t want “kill him, but he wanted him close to death”. What’s the statute of limitations on assault? Just asking for a friend.

New Jack spared D-Von Dudley and beats the fuck out of this kid. They showed the footage of him slicing the kid and blood is just squirting out. You can hear the kid’s dad saying “Where’s the ref?!?!” And New Jack says “I hope the fat piece of shit dies”.

Sandman said that he had the next match and “bled like a stuck pig” to take some heat off New Jack.

New Jack was rightfully charged for assault and battery. The case goes to court. Tiny the Terrible said his role in the trial was to explain that Mass Transit (real name Erich Kulas) knew what he was getting into. Heyman gets on the stand and says that Kulas’ Dad called New Jack a racial epithet. The jury learns that Kulas lied about his age and experience and he got off.

Funny side story was that New Jack promised Tiny the Terrible he’d get him into WWE in exchange for his positive testimony. And sure as shit there he is in a skit with Stephanie and Triple H. So good on him I guess.

Kulas died in 2002 from complications after gastric bypass surgery.

From that point ECW and New Jack became a fucking car wreck with ridiculous spots.

They get to the Vic Grimes incident. Cornette says Grimes thought pro wrestling was basically about getting hit with weapons and stupid spots.

Anyway they New Jack and Grimes have this big spot and Grimes gets a little nervous. Instead of an audible, New Jack pulls Grimes into this fall and Grimes fucks it up leaving New Jack with a cracked skull and a bunch of other injuries. He says Vic messed up. I say it’s probably karma.

Because Grimes is clearly stupid he agrees to a scaffold match with New Jack in XPW. Grimes tries to make amends, but New Jack admits he wasn’t having it. At that point Grimes should’ve walked away and left the arena. Anyway they get on the scaffold and New Jack tases him with a stun gun. Grimes: “I can’t feel my legs.” New Jack: “It’s ok. You won’t need them.” And he throws Grimes off the scaffold and the ropes saved the idiot from dying. New Jack said they were even at that point. D-Lo wonders of New Jack could’ve been tried for attempted murder. Yes…yes I think he could have.

New Jack continues to push the limit because the limits continue to go further. Eventually the violence becomes ridiculous.

They go into this Gypsy Joe match. Gypsy Joe is a 72-year-old man who’s gimmick is that he doesn’t sell anything because he’s tough. Sounds great. They work for a bit and then New Jack beats him with a barbed wire bat and a bunch of chairs and claims the fans were calling him racial names. Because he’s always the victim you see.

Sandman said promoters eventually looked at New Jack like a liability. Cornette said the WWE was never in the cards because New Jack was too much bad publicity.

New Jack works these silly ridiculous matches on smaller cards. He wrestles a kid named “Hunter Red”. New Jack claims the kid disrespected him (which at this point I seriously doubt all these people disrespected hm). At least New Jack admits he was mostly high and drunk for these spectacles. Hunter Red apparently shoots on New Jack so New Jack pulls some sort of a claw out of his gear and begins stabbing him. D-Lo’s reaction watching this tape is worth the look.

Cornette watches it. “He pulled a knife out of his pants and is stabbing this guy…What the fuck is happening”. My thoughts exactly.

He further explains: “The line in wrestling between cooperation and felonious assault is blurred. If two guys agree to something beforehand and it happens within those parameters it’s cooperation…if it happens well outside those parameters, like stabbing someone, it’s felonious assault.”

New Jack admits he stuck him nine times…it looks like more than that.

Shockingly New Jack is arrested at gun point and charged with aggravated battery.

New Jack claims that Hunter Red told him he’d drop the charges if they agreed to go on the road to make an angle out of him. He dropped the charges and New Jack smartly left Florida and hasn’t returned.

Cornette says New Jack can’t really benefit from his act any more because he’s not active. It’s just an albatross around his neck. Sandman says the legend will probably become bigger than the person. Whatever.

The Bottom Line: New Jack from Smoky Mountain is good stuff. It’s understandable what Cornette saw in him and under the guiding hand of a real wrestling guy you saw why he got on the scene. He was great for the territory. Once he left there things just got out of hand. New Jack is likely a terrible human being that should be in prison. The fact that he isn’t in prison doesn’t really bother me because people were stupid enough to get in these situations with him knowing his reputation. Hopefully this is the last we’ll really hear of the guy. I’ll probably never watch this episode again. It has very little redeeming value. If you never saw the Mass Transit incident you can see it.