The SmarK Rant for Hulk Hogan’s Unreleased Collector’s Series DVD

OK, I’ve probably mentioned a few times that I have a giant collection of wrestling DVDs, so in the quest to find SOMETHING that’s gonna draw on the blog for the next couple of weeks, I thought I’d finally crack open a few of them. First up, this 2009 release that I actually still had factory sealed on the shelf since the day it was sent to me, back during the period when WWE was actually putting out DVDs on a regular basis and then sending them to me in giant batches to review. Like seriously, I think this one showed up in a package with 4 PPV releases from 2009 and a Best of Smackdown 2009 set (which I’m also looking at reviewing) and something like the Roddy Piper set.

Quite the dated set of commercials that autoplay, including the Marine 2!

This is a three disc set, supposedly all new stuff at the time, so hopefully I haven’t seen a bunch of it.

Disc One

No one hosting the video, but instead we get a montage of Hogan’s career and the usual video narrator guy.

We go ALL the way back to start…

Hulk Hogan v. Harry Valdez (11.13.79)

From WWWF Championship Wrestling, this is Hogan’s debut in the promotion, as he’s rocking full length trunks and has his chest hair shaved into an atom bomb shape. The jobber tries a couple of headlocks and Hulk just hurls him around the ring and hits him with a legdrop, moving like rookie Braun Strowman and just having no control over his own strength. Hulk adds a kneedrop and a suplex, then finishes him off with the over the shoulder body vice at 2:47. And we also get the promo from Hogan and Freddie Blassie afterwards, as Blassie points out the “24 inch arms” for the first time.

WWF title: Bob Backlund v. Hulk Hogan (04.12.80)

They actually overdub JR and Lawler here because this was a house show with no commentary originally. Of course these days they just air the footage as Hidden Gems as is, and I actually prefer the old way with commentators who can explain stuff going on. We’ll see if prime Backlund can get anything out of clumsy oaf era Hogan. Ross actually runs down the history of Hogan to that point, talking about how he went to Alabama and teamed Ed Leslie and then hit Memphis for matches with Lawler. Backlund evades a lockup from super strong Hogan, as Lawler notes that Hogan was “what we call green” at that point. Hogan tries a waistlock takedown and Backlund easily escapes and takes Hogan down, sending him running out of the ring in response. Hogan wants a test of strength and Bob gives it a go, but of course Hulk easily overpowers him. Bob fights up and reverses out with the power of leverage and the commentators actually talk about how Hulk used matches like this to learn and grow as a wrestler. This is really neat and awesome and I wish they still had someone like JR who could tell these stories. Backlund goes for a headlock and we get a funny bit with Hulk desperately trying to shake him off to no avail. Hogan fights out and Backlund takes him right down again. Hogan slams out of it, but Backlund slams him in turn and drops an elbow to frustrate him, then goes back to the headlock on the mat. Lawler talks about how Hogan started shaving his back hair and inspired him to start doing that himself, by taping a razor to a shoe horn. We are definitely getting some unique stories here. Hogan escapes the long headlock and goes to a wristlock, cheating to maintain the advantage. Backlund slams out of that with one arm, so Hogan kicks him in the bad shoulder and goes back to work on the arm. Backlund fights out of it again, but Hulk takes him down with a hiptoss and goes to the short-arm scissors, which is something you don’t see often from the Hulkster. Backlund rolls out of it a couple of times and tries his signature deadlift, but Hogan counters that and retains control on the mat. So Backlund does it again and puts Hogan on the top rope this time, then makes the comeback with a slam and dropkick. He walks into a bearhug, however, which was Hogan’s finisher at that point. Hulk squeezes him down to the mat and Bob fights out of it and somehow manages to get a piledriver on Hulk! That gets two. Bob tries a splash and lands on the knees, and Hulk gets a suplex for two. Hulk is clearly pretty gassed at this point but he’s still hanging in there. Backlund with a suplex for two, but he misses his own legdrop and Hulk adds an airplane spin! He barely has enough in the tank to finish the move, however, and Backlund makes the comeback with own version, making Hogan go to the ropes to escape. They both tumble to the floor and Hogan beats the count at 28:57 to steal the win. “That referee isn’t working by the hour!” notes Jim Ross. Hulk thinks he’s won the title because he’s young and dumb, but of course that wasn’t the case. Still, this was a shockingly great match for early Hulk, going 30 minutes with Howdy Doody and hanging in there with him the whole time. ***1/2

Hulk Hogan v. Steve King & Angelo Gomez (09.10.80)

From All Star Wrestling and this one would be on the Network now. The jobbers try for a takedown and Hulk easily fights them off and rams their heads together, while Vince buildup a potential match with Andre the Giant. That one might draw some money and a pretty big crowd. Hulk takes the geeks into the corner and beats on them with a unique double bearhug, then stacks them on top of each other and pins them at 2:45. Definitely looking a little smoother and more in control of himself this time. Vince and his banana pudding yellow jacket interviews Hulk and Blassie afterwards, and Freddie announces that a famous magazine with 49 million copies a month has offered Hulk the centerfold. “I didn’t know Mad Magazine had that kind of circulation” notes Vince. Blassie thinks the women of the world are dying to see this, and Vince is AGHAST at the idea of Hogan doing a nude centerfold. Hulk notes that Hulkamania is spreading all over the world and he’s the new superhero. Vince warns him that Blassie “would sell his other grandmother’s false teeth to make a buck” and thinks Hogan should go on his own, but Hulk lets us know that it’s money that keeps them together anyway.

Hulk Hogan v. Andre the Giant (09.22.80)

As promised, we have built to the Hogan-Andre match, and we’re at MSG with JR & Lawler dubbed in on commentary again. Gorilla Monsoon is special referee for this one as well. Andre storms in and hits him with a headbutt before pounding away in the corner, but Gorilla calls him off. Andre politely asks if he can punch Hogan, but Gorilla keeps breaking them up, thus violating his own pet peeve as an announcer later on. Andre finally does beat Hogan down and Hulk retreats to the floor. Back in, Andre rings Hulk’s bell and goes to the headlock, but Hulk escapes with a bearhug and manages to put him down on the mat with it. Hulk chokes him down on the ropes and Gorilla gets physically involved again, pulling Hulk off instead of just counting like he always preached later on. Hulk continues choking and Gorilla pulls him off again, so Hulk tries the bearhug again and Andre has had enough of that. Andre beats Hulk down and goes to his own bearhug, then goes to work on the leg, but Hulk SLAMS him, seven years before Hulk supposedly did it for the first time. Hulk tries it again, but Andre falls on top and Gorilla fast-counts the pin at 12:35 to screw Hulk over. This was pretty slow and clunky. *1/2

Off to the AWA now, as Hulk turns babyface…

Nick Bockwinkel & Bobby Heenan v. Hulk Hogan (05.02.81)

The heels rush in for the double team to start as the crowd is just losing their mind for Hulk, and Hogan rams them together and makes the comeback already, with Bobby absolutely FLYING into the air off Hulk’s punches. What a pro he was! The heels retreat to the floor and stop for some planning in their corner, so Hulk throws Bockwinkel into Heenan for another funny bump. Bockwinkel wants a test of strength but then grabs Bobby’s hand for leverage, and Hulk just pulls them both into the ring and sends Bobby flying again with another pratfall. What a performance from the Brain. This guy knew EXACTLY how to get Hogan over all by himself. Bockwinkel tries it again with a headlock, so Hulk throws him into Heenan again and Bobby goes flying to the floor this time as Bockwinkel starts to get pissed off at his own manager’s ineptitude. Bockwinkel offers a test of strength and then throws boots once they’re in it, but Hulk no-sells it and beats him down for a chinlock before Bobby finally manages to tag in and break it up. Bobby actually gets heat on the Hulk with boots, but Hulk casually hulks up and kills the terrified Heenan in the corner before running him to the floor. But then Bockwinkel attacks from behind with a cheapshot to take over, and Bobby chokes him out with a towel in the corner. Bockwinkel chokes him down while Bobby undoes the turnbuckle in his corner, but Hulk fights up and makes another comeback. Axe Bomber gets two before Bobby saves, so Hulk keeps coming with an atomic drop before Bockwinkel gets another cheapshot and brings Heenan in again. More choking, this time with the tag rope, and Bobby pulls out the brass knuckles before Hulk steals them and knocks Bobby out cold. Wisely, he sticks them back into Bobby’s tights and then throws him out of the ring again with another huge bump from Bobby, and makes the comeback on Bockwinkel. Big boot and legdrop follow for the pin at 14:40 as the crowd EXPLODES. Tremendous entertainment here. ***

So of course Hulk gets famous and returns to the WWF to win the title right away and we skip ahead to 1985…

From TNT on 03.22.85, we get the wacky vignette with Hulk and Mr. T going shopping at a health food store and making protein shakes while the hapless customers and employees watch all the craziness unfold. Hulk cringing while drinking the horrifying protein shake is still funny (T: “That’s all right, it makes you mean!”)

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage (04.26.86)

Jack Reynolds and Killer Ken Resnick are on commentary, with the match taped in Detroit. The listed date is April 26 but Macho doesn’t have the IC title with him here so I’m wondering if that’s wrong. A quick check reveals that the date is actually correct and in fact the rest of the show aired on the May 12 86 edition of Prime Time Wrestling, which itself is notable for FUJI VICE. Macho blindsides Hulk and hits him with the WWF title belt, then goes up with a double axehandle. But Hulk fights him off and steals the glasses, then chokes Savage out. He stops to blow a kiss to Elizabeth, so Savage attacks him and sends him to the floor before beating him down out there. Back in, Hogan comes back with an atomic drop, so Savage spits at him and runs away to the floor. Back in, Hogan is one who runs away this time to mock Savage. Feels like we’re playing No Mercy and they’re trying to charge their special meters or something. Finally Savage has had enough of that patended Hogan cowardice and hits him with a double axehandle to the floor, then kicks him in the face a few times on the apron and follows with an another axehandle. Hogan, as is typical, rests on the floor while Savage does all the work, and Savage gives another flying axehandle to hopefully make him stop being such a chicken champion. Back in, Macho chokes away and gets two, then hooks the leg and gets two. Hooking clothesline gets two. Savage goes up and drops the flying elbow on Hogan the chump, but Hulk makes the comeback and puts Savage on the floor with the big boot. Elizabeth bets for mercy and I’m surprised Hulk doesn’t backhand her like the coward he is, and then we head back in where Savage boots him down and goes up again. A second big elbow misses, however, and Hogan pins him to retain the title at 11:50 in a typical fluke Hogan win over the Macho Man. Afterwards Savage lays him out and takes his rightful title for himself, but Hogan attacks him from behind and steals the belt back like the snake he is. Well he got lucky against Macho that time, I guess. ***

Hulk Hogan & Junkyard Dog v. Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy (05.04.86)

From Toronto this time, which was the show that got turned into Prime Time Wrestling on May 19 in fact, with one of the rare tag team partners who didn’t get sick of Hogan’s shit and turn on him. Although given Dog’s history in Mid-South before then, it’s more surprising that Hogan didn’t turn on HIM. Maybe that’s why they were able to put aside their differences and team up. Hulk still wouldn’t let JYD date his daughter, though. Dog headbutts Studd a bunch of times and goes for the slam, but John gets his own and wants Hulk to give it a try. So Hogan comes in and Studd runs him into the turnbuckle right away and blocks a slam attempt before hitting his own. Hulk pops up and gets his own slam to earn $15,000 and then slams Bundy as well for good measure, sending the heels running away. The Brain stops by the announce desk to clarify that it was clearly a hiptoss and doesn’t count. Back in, the babyfaces double-team Studd and then Bundy, but Hogan gets caught in the corner and bearhugged by Studd. Hulk fights out and makes the hot tag to JYD, but he immediately misses a headbutt onto Bundy and falls on his face, allowing Studd to take over again. Bundy with a chinlock but Dog quickly fights out and makes another hot tag to Hulk, which quickly brings Heenan in for the cheap DQ at 9:42. Crowd was hot throughout but there was absolutely nothing to this one. ½*

The Snake Pit with Hulk Hogan, from March 22 87 on All American Wrestling. Jake tells Hulk that the oddsmakers are betting against Hulk, and he’s actually got the famous Andre version of the WWF title with him! That’s the closest Jake ever got to that title, too. I kind of wish Hulk had switched to that title for the show, it’s a pretty sweet looking belt. But Hulk doesn’t want the stinky Giant’s toy belt and he leaves it for the snake.

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Kamala (06.26.87)

From Houston, and we’ve got JR & King on commentary again here. King points out that he had the very first match with Kamala in the US. This allows JR to talk about Kamala’s history in Houston while he was managed by Skandor Akbar, which is crazy to hear even today. Listening to Ross and Lawler just getting the chance to reminisce and call the matches without getting overproduced by Vince is SUCH a breath of fresh air. Kamala overpowers Hulk to start and blocks a slam attempt, then chops Hogan down and goes to work on the back with chops before choking him out with Fuji’s cane. Hulk fights back and runs Kamala into the turnbuckle before following with the corner clothesline, but then goes after Kim Chee and that allows Kamala to attack from behind. Ross: “Kim Chee is trying to brawl with Hulk. It’s like he thinks he’s a BRAWLER or something!”

Kamala with the stomach claw while JR and King riff on how we’re gone from the back-shaving era to the “Brother!” era, but Hogan makes the comeback and hulks up for the big boot, slam and legdrop finish at 6:25. Even the announcers were just good-naturedly ribbing how crappy the match was, but it sent the crowd home happy. ½*

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Killer Khan (09.12.87)

And we wrap up the first disc from a Boston show, which means we’re graced by the dulcet tones of Duke Doherty on commentary with Gorilla. Khan, although a scary opponent of Andre the Giant in the early 80s, was just another Unstoppable Heel for Hogan to miraculously beat in house shows around the country by this point. Khan beats Hogan down with the WWF title, but shoots his GREEN MIST OF DEATH at the referee by accident and blinds him. So the first ref gets taken out and treated for Kool-Aid burns while another one joins us, allowing Khan to toss Hulk into an assault from Fuji’s cane. Those darn Asians. Back in, Khan levels Hogan with a karate thrust to the throat while Hulk does his overblown selling, but misses a kneedrop and Hulk pops up for the comeback. That was Khan’s big finish? A kneedrop? And to think I used to think this guy was pretty scary when I was 13. Hulk chokes him down with his wrist tape and tosses him, as if to say FUCK YOU, MONGOLIAN! And then he hits him with an ALL-AMERICAN chair to the head and runs him into the post before hitting him with another chair. This is pretty heavy stuff for a 1987 house show, actually. Back in, Khan gets another karate thrust, as Hogan actually appears to be a lot more fired up tonight than Khan is. And indeed he goes to the laziest heel hold in wrestling, the Vulcan nerve hold, to emphasize that. Anyway, Khan with the FLYING KNEEDROP OF AGONY, but it’s Hulk Up time and he CATCHES the green mist in his hand. That’s so cheesy and stupid that it’s kind of awesome, actually. He rubs it in Khan’s face and finishes with the legdrop at 9:34. OK, I was into it, it was fun, and Hulk was smashing people with chairs, so it kind of ruled. ***1/4 Interestingly, Khan’s career came to an end two months after this, with his last match coming against Don Muraco at a house show, and he became an actor in retirement.

Disc Two

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. One Man Gang (12.05.87)

Carrying on in Philadelphia, with the awe-inspiring commentary team of Dick Graham & Craig DeGeorge. Graham calls Slick the “alleged” Doctor of Style, which is pretty presumptuous on his part. If you’re going to question Slick’s credentials then I suppose you’re going to tell me that Tom Prichard isn’t the Doctor of Desire either? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen his doctorate. It’s a real thing. The man fought up his way from the streets and escaped the negative stereotyping of his people by earning a doctorate and this is how you treat him? Granted he was also a pimp but everyone needs a hobby. Hulk tries a headlock and gets shoved down, and then goes for the slam early and Gang falls on top for two. Gang uses the faithful clubbing forearms and Hulk goes into his patented Big Fat Heel Selling for a bit before running Gang into the turnbuckles and slugging him down. Slick comes in and Hulk beats him up, allowing Gang to put Hogan down for the nerve pinch. The man is a DOCTOR. Have some respect! Gang with the extended shoulder massage, really working the tension out of Hogan’s major stress points, and then Gang moves onto the back with some melodramatic axehandles that look like crap. That gets two, as we get the rare sight of Hogan bridging out of a pinning combination before fighting up. And then Gang beats him down again as I think Hulk is literally sleepwalking through this one. Like I’m pretty sure he took a couple of Ambien and someone accidentally sent him out while he was still unconscious. To further illustrate this point, Gang goes to the bearhug and Hulk stands there dozing for a while to sell that, but then elbows out of it. Gang with the big fat splash for two, but Hulk’s dose of coke finally kicks in to counteract the sleeping pills, and he hulks up before hitting the slam and legdrop to finish at 11:15. This was really, really, really bad and not even in the fun kind of way. Also, Dick Graham is awful. Woof. -** And then in a tease of things to come, Andre comes out to watch from the aisle, but then turns around and leaves without coming into the ring, as they get ready to reheat that feud again. Dick Graham of course completely misses the subtext of Andre wanting another title shot, and just thinks Hogan told him to “get lost”.

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Ravishing Rick Rude (01.09.88)

From Boston, this is definitely a rarity because they allegedly did not care for each other in real life and never worked any kind of program after this. I believe this was on a Coliseum Video release at some point, though, because I’ve definitely seen it before. And yeah, this has the spot to start where Rude challenges Hulk to an arm-wrestling match on the mat, which is actually a fun and unique bit of business. And Joey Marella even gets in on it, diving down to check the arms on the mat, and Hulk has a mini-Hulk up and flashes Rude three times to win that battle after selling for a bit. With Rude stunned at that turnaround, Hulk slugs away in the corner, rams him into the turnbuckle, and tosses Rude to the floor after beating up poor Bobby Heenan for literally no reason. Rude works the arm, but Hulk takes him to the corner and follows with a suplex before missing an elbow. Rude drops elbows on the neck and goes to the corner for more abuse, but Hulk fights him off and then chases after helpless Bobby Heenan again just to be a jerk. Rude attacks from behind on the floor and uses a chair behind the ref’s back, but that only gets two. Rude with the chinlock and he turns it into a sleeper spot on the mat while Rude has a LONG conversation with the ref about something. Were they planning supper for later or something? Hulk fights out, but Rude catches him with the body vice and thinks he’s won the title. So he stupidly releases Hulk with no bell and goes up to hit a flying fistdrop for good measure, but Hulk of course makes the comeback and drops the leg at 11:44. And then we never got the match again! Too bad, it was a fun bit of business that was different from the usual big boot and legdrop formula match and they were a natural pairing. ***

Hulk Hogan & Bam Bam Bigelow v. Ted Dibiase & Virgil (03.12.88)

From Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, I was hoping that this was one of the legendary lost matches where Dibiase was “WWF champion” and wearing the belt to the ring, but we’re well past that week. The babyfaces clear the ring to start and Hulk slugs away on Dibiase in the corner and follows with a corner clothesline before running him into Bigelow’s head. Bam Bam comes in and they pinball Ted in the corner. Hulk takes him to the various corners and chokes Ted out on the ropes, but turnabout is fair play as Andre saves his boss and chokes Hogan out in turn from the floor. Dibiase goes to work in the corner and Virgil comes in with a headbutt and adds a clothesline for two. Andre adds more choking from the floor and Virgil does his own, and then Dibiase completes the trifecta of choking from the apron. This gives us a nice subtle spot as Dibiase hits a pair of corner clotheslines while Andre holds the tights and prevents Hogan from getting away. That gets two. Dibiase with the chinlock sleeper while Nick Bockwinkel explains the science behind it on commentary, and then adds that Dibiase is doing the hold like he is “to be a jerk about it”. Meanwhile Andre bullies the timekeeper and demands that the bell be rung. I’m just saying, I’d do what the Giant says. Man says “ring the bell”, I’m asking “How many times?” Finally Hogan escapes the heels and makes the hot tag to Bam Bam, and he runs over Dibiase but gets tripped up by Andre. This allows Virgil to come in for more abuse and choking and they somehow manage to completely fuck up an irish whip into the corner spot. Bigelow comes back with a press slam and elbow for two, but Dibiase saves and accidentally drops the elbow on his own bodyguard. Hogan drops the leg for good measure and Bigelow finishes Virgil with the big splash at 10:00. And then Andre lays waste to the babyfaces, but Hogan throws chairs into the ring and chases him off. Virgil looked like one of the worst professional wrestlers alive in this match but it was a lot of fun. **1/2 Hulk and Bigelow do some posing afterwards and this probably should have been a thing that drew money in the near future, but it just wasn’t gonna happen for Bigelow for various reasons.

Hulk Hogan v. King Haku (10.16.88)

From the LA Arena, featuring my nightmare team of Rod Trongard and Superstar Graham on commentary. And speaking of nightmares, Hulk is wearing the stupid fucking fist helmet here. They had a pretty good match on SNME so hopefully this one is in the same orbit. Haku attacks while Hebner is checking Hogan’s kneepads for foreign objects. Given that he wore a WEAPONIZED HELMET to the ring, I’d say that’s a good idea. Hulk quickly fires up and beats up helpless manager Bobby Heenan for literally no reason, and then drops elbows on Haku and boot rakes the face. Corner clothesline follows, but this time Heenan trips him up in revenge for the prior abuse. Hulk chases Bobby because he’s such a sore loser, and this allows Haku to hit him from behind and take over with some Tongan martial arts. Hulk with the slam, but he misses an elbow and Haku goes to work with the nerve pinch. Hulk tries to fight up, but the trapezius pain is too overwhelming and he goes down again. Haku keeps coming with a double throat chop and goes back to the SHOULDER MASSAGE OF DOOM, but Hulk somehow makes the comeback and fights out of it. And then he puts his head down like a moron and Haku gives him the thrust kick to the floor to make him pay for being so stupid. Hulk manages to get back in and Haku hits him with more Tongan blows and adds a suplex, but that only gets two. Shocking. Hulk makes the comeback (really? That was the big near fall spot? A suplex?) and tries to finish, but Bobby grabs the helmet and demands Haku run Hogan’s head into it. Of course that backfires and Haku is the one who goes down, and Hulk drops the leg at 9:00 to finish. Hogan got the pin WHILE WEARING THE ILLEGAL HELMET! What kind of shitty refereeing is THAT? This man is a CHEATER and here’s proof on DVD! Also, I’m not convinced that Haku wouldn’t have shattered the crappy helmet with his head. This match was bullshit and you all know it. I bet he hid a pair of brass knuckles in his tights as well and the ref just didn’t get a chance to find them during the patdown before Haku attacked. *1/2

Hulk Hogan v. Big Bossman (12.17.88)

Back in the LA Arena again two months later, and hopefully Bossman will serve up some justice in retribution for that Haku match. Thankfully Hogan leaves his helmet at home this time. Hogan of course is the first one to cheat, attacking Bossman on the floor and stealing the nightstick, and then hitting him with a chair on the floor! WHAT KIND OF A ROLE MODEL IS THIS MONSTER? Slick runs into plead for mercy, but of course Hulk beats him up too and then hits Bossman with a back suplex and cuffs Slick before slapping him around! Well at least now we know his true colors years later. He actually slaps the Slickster around, probably for making a joke about dating his daughter, and I bet he called him “Boy” while he was doing it. We’re seeing the worst of humanity in the Hulkster here. He takes Bossman down and goes for more unwarranted racially motivated abuse of the handcuffed manager, and then drops elbows on the Bossman. Thankfully Bossman comes back with a clothesline to stop the ugly run of orange-on-black violence at ringside and chokes Hogan out on the ropes, thankfully unlocking his manager from the literal chains he was enslaved in by Hulk Hogan. Bossman with a piledriver for two. Another try, but Hogan backdrops him over the top rope and then goes after Slick again for literally no reason, which results in him walking into the Bossman slam. Bossman follows with the big splash and Hulk makes the comeback. Bossman sends him out and runs him into the ringpost and then gives Hulk a taste of his own corrupt medicine by cuffing him for doing 55 in a 54. Sadly, Hulk dodges a blind charge before Bossman can finish him, breaks the cuffs, and finishes with the legdrop at 9:11. I hope Hulk offers compensation to Bossman for breaking those handcuffs like that and then stealing the nightstick. Those things aren’t free. Also Hulk walking around the ring with the nightstick hanging out of his tights is a bit…questionable. *1/2

Wrestling Challenge sees Hogan cutting a whiny promo about how he just put Liz on his shoulders on SNME because that’s what Savage would have done! Pretty defensive there, Hulk. And in fact Hulk claims that SAVAGE is the jealous one, which is clearly bullshit that is proven by the very footage that Hulk was showing here! You don’t just put someone’s wife on your shoulders or steal a hug from her at Survivor Series! Obviously this man had lust in his eyes and Randy Savage was 100% right to call him on it.

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage (06.03.89)

From Boston, two months after Wrestlemania and this feud is still red hot. Savage throws a chair into the ring and then grabs a Hogan poster from some mouth-breathing Boston fan at ringside and tears it up. Hope the kid went home and cried afterwards. Serves him right for having such a horrible wife-stealing role model. Savage continues the mindgames, cutting a promo on Hogan about how he’s gonna pin him, and then runs away and makes Hulk wait. Hulk waits until Savage is in the ropes and attacks, so Savage runs him into the corner and goes up with the double axehandle, then drapes his robe onto Hogan and steps on him. Savage goes up for another axehandle, but he stops to celebrate and Hulk comes back with an atomic drop and slugs away, sending Savage onto the announce table at ringside. Back in, Hulk elbows him into the corner and follows with the Axe Bomber, then throws Savage over the top. Savage begs for mercy and Hogan tries to beat up Sherri, probably because she wouldn’t give into his lustful advances like Liz did, and he tosses Savage back in and chokes him out like a big orange cheat. Sherri rightly slaps him and tries to run him into the ringpost to defend herself from his unwanted advances, but of course Hogan tries to backhand her until Savage heroically saves with a knee to the back from the blindside. Back in, Savage chokes him out to hopefully teach him how to treat a lady. Savage with a kneedrop for two and he goes to a chinlock, but Hulk escapes and then goes after Sherri again and trips on the apron while trying to put the moves on her. You’re married, Hulk! Leave her alone! Savage goes up with a double axehandle for two, but Hogan makes the comeback and puts him on the floor with the big boot. Savage pulls him out and they brawl out there, but Hogan of course cheats and sends him into the post. Sherri dives onto him, trying to save her man from this cheating monster, but Hogan threatens a helpless woman and gets so wrapped up in trying to seduce another man’s manager that he’s counted out at 13:00. WASN’T ONE SEX TAPE ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOU PERVERT!? Oddly this is the second match on this set where Savage beats Hogan by countout and then steals the title belt. ***1/4

Hulk Hogan v. Earthquake (04.30.90)

Fun fact: The MSG show this is from was the last one shown on WWE 24/7 here in Saskatoon before my cable company pulled the plug on the channel for good. That was a dark day for me. Quake attacks and beats Hogan down, but stops to pose and Hogan comes back with a corner clothesline. Hulk hits a pair of clotheslines and goes for the slam, but he gets distracted by Jimmy Hart and that allows Quake to run him into the post. Back in, Hulk tries a bodypress and Quake casually catches him with a slam and drops a pair of elbows on him for two. Quake misses a blind charge and Hulk tries a slam, but good luck there. So Hulk slugs away in the corner instead and tries another slam, but Quake falls on top for two this time. Take the hint, Hulk! Quake goes to a bearhug and Hulk punches out of that, so Quake puts him down for the butt splash and that gets two. Hulk makes the comeback with the usual and Jimmy Hart runs in for the DQ at 8:38. Just a normal paint by numbers Hogan v. Big Fat Heel match, before the point when the Quake feud really caught fire. **1/2 And then Hogan slams him afterwards, but it doesn’t count in my books because the match was over.

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Sgt. Slaughter (04.24.91)

Off to London for this one, which the narrator describes as “A battle for America on foreign soil.” Yeah that makes sense. This show was broadcast live on Sky and then packaged into a couple of Coliseum video releases at the time, with matches on “Rampage 91” and “World Tour 91”. They’re both on the Network if you want to check them out. I mean, they’re pretty boring shows, so I wouldn’t. But you might. I dunno. Slaughter and Adnan attack and Hogan fights them off and catapults Slaughter into the post after some abuse. Hulk slugs away and follows with a clothesline, but Slaughter rakes the eyes and sends him to the floor to take over. Back in, Slaughter goes after Hogan’s burn scar on the forehead and slugs him down for two. More clawing at the forehead for heat while Hogan walks around with what looks like a maxi pad stuck to his face. Back in, Slaughter gets two and follows with a backbreaker for two. Sarge goes up and gets slammed off by Hogan, but Hulk misses the elbow and Slaughter gets the abdominal stretch. He just barely holds the ropes, so lazy that he can’t even cheat properly, but Hogan reverses to his own. So Slaughter boots him down to set up the camel clutch, and Vince is pretty sure Hogan is going to submit to this one. But of course Hulk overcomes the odds and breaks free, until Slaughter rakes the maxi pad again and Hogan is DOWN. So Slaughter goes up and drops a knee on the back for two, at which point Hogan makes the comeback. FOR AMERICA. IN LONDON. The ref gets bumped and Slaughter finds a chair, but he falls down while trying to swing it for some reason and then beats on the unconscious ref with it. And then he charges with the chair and accidentally throws it to the floor in an embarrassing spot. So Adnan readies the TALCUM POWDER OF DOOM, but hits Slaughter with it and Hogan gets the pin at 16:30. This one should have remained Unreleased and been swapped out with the Desert Storm match from MSG instead. *

Hulk Hogan v. Ric Flair (12.29.91)

From MSG, after Hogan was stripped of the title at Tuesday in Texas. Hulk backdrops Flair before he can even get his robe off, and clotheslines him to the floor. They brawl at ringside and Hogan chokes him out with the bandana before they head in the ring again, and Hulk slugs away in the corner and follows with a corner clothesline to set up a Flair Flop. And then Hulk chokes him out with his wrist tape! Flair bumps out of the corner and hits the floor again, trying to escape this maniac, but Hulk follows him out there and runs him into the post. Flair runs away again and tries to go into the ring, but Hulk hits him with a big boot and sends him to the floor again. Hulk suplexes him on the floor out there and back into the ring for more abuse, and Flair takes ANOTHER bump over the top and out to the floor. Hulk runs him into the post and chops him on the railing, and back in for a headbutt, but he goes after helpless manager Mr. Perfect and that allows Flair to clip him in the knee. Perfect runs a chair into Hogan’s knee and Flair goes to work on it, and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL. Well, no one’s going to school at the moment because they’re all shut down for the year due to Covid19, but you know what I mean. Hogan escapes the figure four and Flair tries to go up, but Hulk slams him off the top and now he works on Flair’s leg and wraps the knee around the post. Back in for a kneecrusher and Hulk gets his own figure-four. THAT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR! So Perfect runs in and Hulk does the cradle gag while holding the figure-four, but Perfect manages to get a pair of brass knuckles to Flair in the chaos and it’s LIGHTS OUT FOR HULK. But that gets two and Hulk makes the comeback and no-sells Flair’s chops, but the big boot puts Flair on the floor again. Hulk chases and runs him into the post, then takes the cheap countout win at 10:15. Well that was some weak sauce but the match was extremely fun. ***1/4

Disc Three

Oh god, the menu music switches to “American Made” for this one. Time to brace myself. Considering that WCW doesn’t really have “unreleased” footage, I’m curious what they’ll dig up here.

So yes, we move ahead to 1994, with Hulk moving to WCW and apparently everyone embracing him completely. DUDE. Do I really have to sit through 2.5 hours of Hulk Hogan’s WCW matches?

Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage v. Ric Flair & Vader (05.21.95)

So this is from Slamboree 1995, as we’re already broken away from the “Unreleased” gimmick here. Oh well. Not like I was paying much attention to WCW at this point anyway. So here’s some music weirdness: Although the menu music clearly uses “American Made”, the song is mixed out of the entrance for this match on the DVD. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO, WWE. As noted in the Observer Flashbacks, there is a very sad story behind this match, as Jimmy Hart’s mother had died in a car wreck earlier in the day, but he still insisted on showing up for the match. What an incredible professional. The story behind this nonsense was that Flair returned from retirement BECAUSE REASONS and interfered in a Hogan-Vader strap match at Uncensored, where he ended up losing the match while dressed in drag despite not being part of the match in the first place. Vader wins a lockup battle with Hulk to start and throws marshmallow punches in the corner, but Hogan thumbs the eye and hits a clothesline, then follows with another one to put Vader on the floor. The Megapowers team up on Vader but he takes them both out with a clothesline and tosses Savage. Flair gets some shots on the floor, but Savage comes back in the ring and we get a Flair Flip into Hogan’s big boot on the apron for at least one cool spot in the match. Back in, Savage clotheslines Flair to the floor again and The Team That We Can’t Legally Call The Megapowers continues double-teaming Flair with more state of the art spots from 1985. I mean, the Billionaire Ted skits were a major misfire, but the message behind them wasn’t totally WRONG or anything. It was just incredibly ham-fisted and hypocritical. Hogan gets the figure-four on Flair and cradles Arn Anderson in another spot straight out of 1985, but Flair goes to the knee to take over. Vader slowly works a toehold while we cut to the entrance for our first PPV appearance of THE GIANT. Vader with a suplex and Hulk no-sells it and slugs away, but Vader runs him over and follows with a corner splash. This sets up the VADER BOMB, but a second one misses and Huckster manages to tag the Nacho Man. And then Savage immediately runs into an elbow from Flair in the corner to cut off his comeback. Flair goes up and gets slammed off by Savage to set up the flying elbow, but AA pulls him out and the heels beat on him outside. This brings the RENEGADE over to make the save, because if there’s one thing that makes sense it’s multi-time World champion Randy Savage, one of the most dangerously unhinged wrestlers in history, needing to be saved from Arn Anderson by rookie Renegade. TOTALLY. Back in, Vader with the moonsault for two on Savage but the crowd remains dead. Haven’t they seen the Renegade out there? And the Giant? STAR POWER. Flair and Savage slug it out and collide for the double down, but it’s hot tag Hogan and he runs somewhat wild for a bit until Vader takes out the knee again. The dastardly heels double-team him but Hulk makes the comeback on Flair. AA comes in and hits Flair by mistake, and Hulk drops the big leg, brother, and pins Flair to win at 18:57. In other news, the sun comes up in the morning. Film at 11. This SUCKED, with three old guys looking tired and past their expiration dates, plus Vader. *1/2 I think I liked it better in my original rant because I sat through 2.5 hours of garbage and this seemed better by comparison, but without that context it just doesn’t work. Thankfully the Flair feud revitalized Savage somewhat later on.

WCW World title, Cage match: Hulk Hogan v. Vader (07.16.95)

Yup, now we’re at Bash at the Beach 95. With HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS in attendance on the beach.

Hogan slugs away in the corner to start and hits an axehandle out of the corner. They slug it out and try to run each other into the cage with no success, but then Vader beats him down in the corner until Hulk runs him into his own helmet. And then Hulk puts the helmet on and headbutts him with it, but Vader hits him with a corner splash to take over again. Man, given the stories about Vader’s smelly gear, I wouldn’t be sticking my face into his stuff. Vader Bomb gets two and Hogan gets run into the cage as Vader slowly beats on him. Vader goes up and misses a splash, which allows Hulk to come back with a corner clothesline, but a slam attempt backfires and Vader gets two. Vader with the chinlock and they slug it out again. “I haven’t seen one wrestling hold” notes Bobby Heenan. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. Hogan finally gets his slam, but he hurts his back in the process and Vader goes to work with a splash for two. So Hulk makes the comeback and no-sells a trip to the cage, then runs Vader into it a bunch of times and follows with the big boot. At this point Kevin Sullivan and Zodiac run in and get chased off by Dennis Rodman. So Hulk drops the leg on Vader and then stalls and poses and stalls and poses and then finally decides to just climb out of the cage instead of pinning the guy. So Vader follows him up, but Hulk fights him off and climbs out to win at 13:12. Not the worst, I guess. **

Hulk Hogan v. Sting (11.20.95)

From Nitro, apparently “not seen since its original airdate” according to the narrator. Yeah it was on WWE 24/7 so that’s bullshit. Even by 1995 standards this is a pretty huge match to give away on free TV. Dark Phoenix Hogan comes out of the crowd to show that he can attack from behind if he wants. Sting attacks and slugs away, but Hogan gets the corner clothesline and the crowd boos the ever-loving fuck out of him. Sting fights back with a pair of dropkicks to put Hulk on the floor, but Sting misses his splash and hits the railing. Hulk adds a suplex on the floor. Back in, Sting gets a bodypress for two, but Hulk takes him down and starts working on the arm. We get a laughable cross armbreaker and they trade headlocks on the mat before Hogan goes to a bearhug and the Axe Bomber for two. This crowd is not loving Hogan. Backdrop suplex gets two, but Sting comes back and now he goes to work on Hogan’s leg before going to the Scorpion Deathlock. Hogan makes the ropes and Hulks up, but misses the legdrop and Sting gets another Scorpion. And then the Dungeon hits the ring for the DQ at 9:34. Very interesting how easily Hogan slipped into the heel role here and how accepting the fans were of it. **1/2

WCW World title: Hulk Hogan v. The Giant (01.25.97)

Yeah, it’s from Souled Out. As it turns out, this was supposed to be Lex Luger in the challenging role, but Hogan wanted the Giant to turn for the spot. And then he immediately failed, which needlessly killed him as a top guy. Hogan of course cheats to gain the advantage and they fight to the floor, but Giant no-sells a bunch of stuff in the ring and slams Hogan. Hogan stalls for a while off that and throws the dreaded TALCUM POWDER OF DEATH in his face. Hogan chokes away while Bischoff talks about Hogan’s “23 and ¾ inch pythons”, which I’m assuming is the clever way to skirt the WWF legal team. Back in the ring, Giant gets a backbreaker and goes up, but misses a flying elbow and Hulk gets two. Hulk with the chinlock and the crowd actually gets behind Giant, so Hogan slams him and drops the leg. Giant no-sells it while Hogan does the comedy routine of not seeing Giant there waiting for him, and the chokeslam gets two because Patrick just pretends that Hogan kicked out. And then they repeat the joke three times just in case we didn’t get it. So Giant chokeslams the ref and everyone in the nWo runs in and gets beat up as well, but Hulk finally just lays him out with a guitar as there’s no finish. -** And Giant gets spraypainted to end the show as they just go with the laziest possible booking. It might have been like watching someone masturbate for 3 hours, but at least with that you get a payoff at the end. No such luck with this match.

Hulk Hogan v. Bret Hart (09.28.98)

Well at least this is a match I haven’t seen before. This is from Nitro and of course we will not be served any spicy Voodoo Chili on this DVD release. Bret was apparently the US champion at this point. I have no idea who was supposed to be the babyface here or what the issue was. Hogan grabs a headlock but Bret takes him down with a hammerlock. Hulk escapes and drops elbows, then tosses Bret to the floor and drops the knee onto the railing twice to injure it. Hulk continues working the knee by wrapping it around the post and then stomping on it in the corner. Hulk with a spinning toehold, which almost fooled me into thinking it was Dory Funk Jr. because they both have about the same amount of hair. So then Lobster Sting runs in for some reason and pulls Hogan off to prevent any more vicious spinning toeholds while Lex Luger and Konnan try to force Bret onto a stretcher and now we randomly get Hogan v. Sting instead for some reason. I don’t understand anything that I’m watching here on any level. So Bret was with the Wolfpac at this point? So Hogan gets a suplex on Sting for two while Bret is loaded into an ambulance on split screen, but then Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell attack the Wolfpac guys and Bret Hart limps back to the ring again while this is going on. I feel like I need a flow chart to explain what’s happening and why. So Sting makes the comeback on Hulk and Bret comes back in, and turns on Sting for the DQ to reveal that he’s apparently with the nWo all along? And they WONDERED why the WWF started beating their ass in the ratings every week? This whole thing was complete nonsensical garbage. Like, why didn’t Bret just turn on Sting and kick him in the knee in the first place? Why go through the façade of getting carried back on a stretcher and all that?

OK, so now we skip ahead to 2002. Sure, why not.

RAW (03.18.02)

In a famous interview segment in Montreal, Hogan comes out to a monster ovation from the Canadian crowd the night after Wrestlemania and he’s suddenly the biggest babyface in the world again. Look, watching this segment and how Hogan was suddenly the biggest star on the show again, I can 100% see why they put the title on him. It didn’t work, but you had to try. And Hogan to his credit understand what’s going on and just stands there and lets the reaction get bigger and bigger organically.

WWE World title: Hulk Hogan v. Ric Flair (05.13.02)

So this is from RAW and it’s already apparent that the Hogan train is nearly out of steam. They have “Real American” dubbed in here but I feel like it was “Voodoo Child” he was using in 2002. Flair was “Co-Owner” of RAW at this point and the announcers are all over him for booking himself into a World title match. Hulk no-sells the chops and slugs away with his own in the corner to set up the Flair Flop as the Toronto crowd is VERY forgiving of Hogan’s act at this point. Flair goes low to take over and they fight to the floor, but Hogan sends him into the stairs and back in for a backdrop. Flair goes to the knee as Hogan’s knees are so clearly shot and he’s moving like late stage Undertaker. Hulk beats Flair to the figure-four attempt, but Flair makes the ropes. So now Hulk randomly makes the comeback after taking most of the match already, and he drops the leg for two. At which point nWo X-Pac runs in, and then nWo Big Show, and then Bradshaw to make the save, and then finally Steve Austin, who hits Flair with a stunner to give Hogan the win with another legdrop at 8:43. I mean…he already had Flair beat with the legdrop already, why did we need all the other run-ins? *

Guys, I’m thinking I may spoken too soon with that recommendation previously.

Hulk Hogan v. HHH (06.06.02)

So Hulk has lost the title to Undertaker, but this is a #1 contender’s match. They tussle for the lockup in the corner to start and HHH slugs away on Hogan’s bald spot, but Hulk fights back with various punches of his own. They fight on the floor and do some lethargic brawling out there, and back in for more punches and kicks from the Game. And choking of course. He drops an elbow for two and goes to the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER, but Hulk reverses to his own and HHH suplexes out for two. Hulk makes the comeback and hits the big boot and legdrop for two. Why am I not shocked that HHH kicked out of that. And then KICK WHAM PEDIGREE finishes clean at 6:44. SHOCKING that HHH was booked to kick out of the legdrop and then win clean with his finish over HULK HOGAN. And then of course Hulk has to call HHH back into the ring to put him over as the greatest of all time and toughest son of a bitch he ever faced. BARF. DUD

WWF World tag team titles: Hulk Hogan & Edge v. Billy & Chuck (07.11.02)

Hogan and Edge won the tag titles in an awesome match on July 4, and this is the rematch. Edge hits Chuck with the heel kick and tosses Billy, but walks into a tilt a whirl slam in the heel corner. They go to work on Edge and Chuck gets a clothesline for two, before Rico adds a kick on the floor and Chuck gets two off that. The announcers are more concerned with the main event later tonight, which will see Undertaker teaming up with rookie John Cena. Now there’s a name you don’t hear much about anymore. Chuck with a chinlock on Edge and he slugs away, but Edge comes back with a neckbreaker and makes the hot tag to Hulk. Hulk coming in as the pre-loaded ultimate hot tag guy was genius and sadly didn’t last long. Hulk cleans house, but Billy hits him with the fameasser for two. But Hulk makes the comeback with the usual while Edge spears Chuck, and the legdrop ends it at 6:14. Like, so simple, so easy. They could have been tag champions for MONTHS with this formula. Who did they even lose it to? **1/2

Hulk Hogan v. Kurt Angle (08.01.02)

From Smackdown and I don’t even remember them having a rematch after King of the Ring. Angle takes him down and works a facelock and then slugs away on the ropes, but Hulk comes back with clotheslines and blocks a hiptoss before hitting one of his own. Clothesline puts Angle on the floor and they brawl out there. Back in, Hogan runs Angle into the turnbuckles and winds up the Popeye Punch, but Angle beats him down in the corner to take over again. Hulk comes back with a suplex but Angle clotheslines him for two. Angle beats Hogan down in the corner again, but Hulk slugs back until Angle gets a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock as Angle slows it down for Hulk again, and then follows with another suplex. But Hulk pops up and makes a comeback with elbows for two. But then Angle reverses the big boot with an ankle pick and turns him over into the anklelock in a slick move, only to have Hogan kick him off immediately. Hogan with another big boot, but Angle comes back with the Angle Slam for two. So Angle pulls down the straps and locks in the anklelock, but this time Hulk fights out of it and the ref is bumped. Angle grabs a chair and Hulk boots it back in his face and drops the leg, but there’s no ref. This brings Brock Lesnar out to interfere, and Angle hits Hulk with a chair to draw the DQ at 10:31. Angle was trying but it’s just so sad to watch broken down Hogan plodding his way through WWE Style in 2002 and looking like a complete dinosaur. **

But hey, there’s also some special features on the disc to fill up the remaining space…

– First up, Hulk Hogan is interviewed by Gorilla Monsoon in Nassau Coliseum in September 84, as he talks about how Hulkamania is all over the world.

– From TNT in March 1986, Hogan cuts a promo with Mr. T about how he’ll come back from broken ribs and beat King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania 2. T just stands there yelling UH HUH and TELL ‘EM HULK in the background.

– From MSG, February 1992, Alfred Hayes interviews Hulk about entering a battle royale against Sid Justice. Apparently Sid has the same look that Charles Manson and Jeffrey Daumer did. That’s…harsh.

– From Wrestling Challenge, March 1993, Hulk cuts a promo about Money Inc. Apparently Jimmy Hart’s job is to dig a hole in the desert and bury their bodies. This disc has taken a decidedly dark turn. Oh, and Brutus Beefcake has an indestructible mask now that is resistant to any briefcase. Good god this was horrible.

– From Bash at the Beach 95, Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman and Hulk says BROTHER about a million times, brother. Again, stuff like the Huckster skits weren’t necessarily wrong.

– From Nitro, November 1995, Hulk cuts a promo from the Dungeon of Doom while wearing a black mask and wielding a sword. OK then.

– From Nitro, September 1996, we get an nWo paid announcement spot from Hogan building up WarGames. This was a really good and different promo from him.

– From RAW, April 2005, Coach interviews Shawn Michaels about his upcoming tag team with Hogan and says they both have big egos and will self-destruct. Of course, he was completely right. But Shawn brings out Hogan and Mean Gene and does his promo, pretending to be on his side before turning on him down the road.

Like, come on, we get a SINGLE match from the AWA but multiple ones from Hogan’s disaster of a run in 2002? Not to mention that the entire third disc is comprised of matches that were already very much released, either on PPV or aired on NATIONAL TELEVISION. This one isn’t quite bad enough to drop my recommendation or anything, but there’s literally hundreds of hours of lost Hogan matches we could have gotten instead of the crap on the third disc that no one is nostalgic for. The first two discs in the set barely even scratch the surface of the 80s alone.

Oh well, I had a lot of fun reviewing this most of the way and I’d still say it’s worth picking up if you see it at a reasonable price.