The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 11.19.19

The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 11.19.19

So yeah, this is the famous episode where I was reviewing it a few minutes delayed from the YouTube premiere, and the video was suddenly deleted in the middle of typing a sentence because Jim Cornette made a very ill-timed joke.  Hey, you know what, given that the world is descending into chaos as we speak, I think it’s time to just go back and review the three episodes I’m missing because it’s suddenly a very disproportionately small thing by comparison.  Especially on a show that makes me so happy to watch, which we all need right now.

Episode 7 – “The Phoenix Rises”

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Joe Galli & Jim Cornette

We get a recap of what’s going on at that point, namely James Storm losing the National title to Colt Cabana and then challenging Nick Aldis for the World title.

OH MAN I’ve missed Dokken!  It’s just not the same with Pantera as the theme song.

Nick Aldis joins Dave at the desk, and even Dave Marquez gets on his case about Kamille.  Nick:  “Oh, if the INTERNET is talking about it, it’s definitely gonna be at the top of my list of priorities!”  Well, the internet would certainly be talking about this episode by the end of it.  But in the meantime, Aldis is going to offer Trevor Murdoch a non-title exhibition match because he’s a magnanimous gentleman.  But Trevor is not exactly at the head of the contendership line.

Non-title Exhibition match:  Nick Aldis v. Trevor Murdoch

Murdoch works the arm to start with a hammerlock, but Aldis makes the ropes, so Murdoch kicks them and “accidentally” crotches him.  Murdoch gets clotheslines and a series of slams, setting up a full nelson slam and the flying bulldog for two.  Murdoch goes up again and Aldis cuts him off and hits the leg to send Murdoch crashing down with the grace of a dying gazelle, then finishes with the cloverleaf at 3:25.   Aldis calls him a “crafty bastard”, but he still respects him and offers the handshake.  Well that’s nice.  **

The Rock N Roll Express joins us at the desk, and they’ve got a shot at the NWA World tag team titles coming up.  Wild Card offers their rebuttal:  They’re two machines in the ring and the Rock N Roll Express can kiss their ass.  But then Dave wants to know what Thom’s relationship with Kamille is, and he sputters out that they’re just friends.

Ricky Starks v. The Question Mark

The Question Mark gets an insane babyface pop from the crowd in only his second match, which actually shocked Corgan and Lagana because they intended him to be a heel and the crowd completely turned him right away.  Question Mark misses his chance at KA-RAH-TAY and Starks slugs away on him and tosses him to giant boos.  Starks gets a sloppy tope and they fight on the floor, but Aron Stevens returns from retirement last week and attacks Starks for the DQ at 1:40.  And then Question Mark uses two vicious KA-RAH-TAY thrusts to the throat until color commentator Colt Cabana makes the save.  ½*  This of course begins the best running joke of the show.

So later tonight, the main event is Aron Stevens & Question Mark v. Colt Cabana & Ricky Starks to make up for the schmoz finish.

Eli Drake joins us at the desk and calls the crowd a bunch of dummies for cheering Question Mark, and he’s ready to ship Ken Anderson back to Minnesota because he’s past the sell-by-date.  This brings out Mr. Anderson, who is sick of Drake “running his jibs” and he demands satisfaction TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING.  So Drake waits for Anderson to move towards the ring and then lays him out from behind with a turnbuckle wrench.  “Someone get Question Mark!” yells some guy in the crowd.

Allysin Kay & Ashley Vox v. Marti Belle & Thunder Rosa

Vox gets a senton on Belle for two, but Marti boots her down and stomps away to take over again.  Rosa comes in with chops in the corner and gets two, then beats on Vox while throwing SHADE at Kay on the apron.  Belle comes in with a running elbow in the corner for two, but Kay gets the hot tag and slugs it out with Rosa.  She tries the package piledriver, but Rosa flips out of it and boots Kay down again before going to the top.  Kay follows and they slug it out up there before Kay gets a superplex.  At this point, Melina comes out to drag the division down, distracting Kay long enough for Rosa to roll her up for the pin at 5:34.  Apparently Melina is a “legend of women’s wrestling”.  Uh, no.  They were having a pretty good match before the crappy finish.  **3/4

Meanwhile, Austin Idol shills the Kayfabe Cocktail and encourages everyone to get it on with their neighbors.  Well not now, obviously.  SOCIAL DISTANCING.

Colt Cabana & Ricky Starks v. The Question Mark & Aron Stevens

Stevens runs away from Starks immediately and brings in the Question Mark, and Starks dropkicks him into the corner as Cornette describes Question as “wrestling like a cow on ice”.  Apparently he’s not a fan.  At this point we learn that Question Mark is in fact from Outer Mongrovia, which is a new country working on their independence.  Wonder if they’re suffering through COVID19 as well?  Stevens continues tagging out as soon as someone makes an aggressive stance towards him, so Mark comes in and beats on Starks in the corner as we get more valuable information about the Question Mark:  His finish is the MONGROVIAN SPIKE.  Stevens comes in with a karate chop in the corner to a tepid reaction, so Question Mark demonstrates the proper technique on Starks as the crowd goes nuts.  Back to Stevens (“Boo!”) who is wrestling in jeans and a scarf, by the way, and he stops to moon the crowd, allowing Starks to fight back with the sling blade and make the hot tag to Colt.  Colt drags Stevens around by the scarf and Starks comes in with a flatliner for two.  They double-team Stevens with hip attacks and Question Mark comes in to save, but Starks goes for the mask like a COWARD.  Stevens breaks it up and Question Mark hits the MONGROVIAN SPIKE, at which point Stevens demands to be tagged in and gets the pin at 6:49.  This was lots of fun.  ***

And Question Mark speaks up for the power of KA-RAH-TAY and we seem to be out, but James Storm interrupts and goes on a rant about the “bullshit” of watching the National champion taking part in stupid matches like the one we just watched.  This brings out Kamille, who whispers something in Storm’s ear, and that silences him as we end the show for real.