The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 07.17.95
Nothing terribly interesting in the Observer for this week, aside from Meltzer’s incredulous note that he never would have believed that a UFC PPV could actually beat a WWF one, but that actually happened with King of the Ring. Now of course it’s a disaster if UFC doesn’t double or triple the WWE shows. King of the Ring, by the way, did 130,000 buys, which at the time was a “Wall Street stockbrokers jumping off the Empire State building” type of buyrate, but now would be a decent B-show number. How times have changed. He does get one zinger in with “Killer Kowalski is disavowing any knowledge of having ever trained the Renegade.” Ha!
(We’re getting closer to the point when I go from skimming the Observers for tidbits to actually recapping the Observers themselves!)
Taped from Danville, PA, the place my soul will go to die. Thank GOD next week starts a new taping cycle. (Wait, isn’t Danville the home of Phineas & Ferb? So that’s pretty awesome at least.)
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler
Owen Hart & Yokozuna v. Jim Dimitri & Gus Kantarrakis
How the hell am I supposed to be able to spell those kind of jobber names on the fly? At least they got an on-screen graphic. The jobbers have matching blue wrestling singlets for some reason, not that it helps. They double-team Owen for a bit, but Owen dropkicks Kantarrakis to take over and Yoko beats on them at will. Owen finishes one of them with the Sharpshooter at 3:00.
In Your House 2 Report with Todd. I may have to watch this one again to clarify my thoughts on it, I dunno.
Jean Pierre Lafitte v. David Thornberg
Thornberg tries some clotheslines, but can’t blow, blow, blow the man down, and Lafitte tosses him and follows with a dive. Back in, Lafitte ties him in the ropes and beats on him, then finishes with the cannonball at 2:30.
Meanwhile, Fatu is MAKIN’ A DIFFERENCE. Someone should have told Umaga that drugs are wack.
Jeff Jarrett is still really anxious to have some cuddle time with his significant other, and expresses that desire in musical form.
Shawn Michaels v. IRS
Meltzer noted a couple of weeks before this match that IRS was retiring to become a road agent, but clearly he’s still around. He would actually “retire” after In Your House next week, though, and then show up on the debut of Nitro again. Stalling to start, and Shawn runs him around the ring by the tie and necksnaps him for two, then goes to work on a headlock. Irwin dumps him and Shawn comes back in with a sunset flip for two, but IRS pounds him in the corner and goes to the abdominal stretch. We take a break and return with a chinlock, but Irwin goes up and lands on Shawn’s foot. Vince goes right for the kill on Lawler with that one, so kudos to him. Shawn comes back with the double axehandle for two, but misses the superkick and Irwin hits the lariat. Another superkick hits for the pin at 10:35. Shawn was definitely a miracle worker if he could get a good match out of IRS. ***
Meanwhile, Isaac Yankem pulls out some kid’s tooth.
Kama v. Billy Mack
Kama takes the jobber down a few times, so the guy goes up with a missile dropkick and slugs away, only to run into a spinkick. Kama punches him in the face a few times for the pin at 2:00.
Diesel joins us, and he thinks Sid is a CHICKEN. So if you beat a chicken, what does that say about you then? The goal should be to play up how big and scary Sid is so that going over him is a big deal. Diesel introduces his lumberjacks, including such luminaries as the wrestling garbageman, Erik Watts, the other guy who isn’t Erik Watts, the guitar player, and the race car driver. In fact, I’m pretty sure Tekno Team got canned before they even made it to the PPV, but then this WAS taped a month before that show. Diesel pretty much laughs Sid off, but then Sid comes out and we take a break. Back with Sid’s lumberjacks out now too, and OH MAN THEY’RE TOTALLY GONNA HAVE THEIR MATCH NOW, but no, they don’t. Sorry, the prospect of Sid v. Diesel is just too exciting.
Next week: Bret Hart v. Hakushi, plus another “new look” for RAW. Only three episodes left on the Network to go!