Smackdown – September 23, 2005

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2005
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

No Mercy is coming up pretty soon and that means the card needs to start being set up. We already have the World Title match set and you can probably guess a few more from here. That makes for some interesting moments, though the Palmer Cannon story is already wearing thin. Hopefully everything else can balance it out. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Booker takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean break because Booker is a nice guy. A hiptoss has Christian bailing to the ropes for a breather but a clothesline puts him down again. Booker slugs away in the corner but Christian powerbombs him off the ropes and grabs a chinlock. That gives us a rather amusing visual as Booker looks irritated at having to do this so Christian steps on his head for a change of pace. Back up and a double clothesline knocks both of them down.

It’s Booker up first with the side kick connecting for two and a spinebuster puts Christian down for two more. He’s back up with a clothesline and unhooks a turnbuckle pad, causing Sharmell to yell at the referee. That means there’s a delayed two off the Book End, allowing Christian to get in a poke to the eye. Sharmell gets up on the apron to yell this time so Christian sends Booker shoulder first into the post. Christian loads up the Unprettier so Sharmell pulls his leg, allowing Booker to grab a rollup pin.

Rating: C-. Egads this Sharmell stuff is getting annoying but it might lead to Booker turning heel, where he thrives a little bit better. The match was the usual decent one between these two, albeit with Sharmell getting involved so often that it got annoying in a hurry. Now can we get back to one of these two going after the US Title again?

Eddie Guerrero has a stomach ache but refuses to be taken out of the main event where he teams with Batista against MNM. Vomiting ensues.

Jillian Hall introduces JBL as Texas’ favorite son and richer than JR Ewing. JBL comes out in street clothes to say he’s managed to come home again. This place reminds him of how far he’s come because now he knows how great New York City is. Texas has its perks too, like JBL being born here. People are still chanting his name though, from Texas Tech to Madison Square Garden. He still doesn’t like people who come here in the dead of night and wear masks to hide from immigration. JBL will defend wrestling and America because he is a wrestling god.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Jared Steel/Anthony Galleti

Non-title and Galleti is pinned off a Doomsday Device in about a minute.

Sylvan (minus the Grenier) doesn’t think much of how Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler look. Hardcore Holly comes in to defend their honor.

Sylvan vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly has Christy and Stacy with him but gets jumped by Sylvan to start. That earns Sylvan some chops but he sends Holly over the top for a crash. A running knee in the corner drops Holly again but he’s right back with a dropkick for the breather. The spinebuster looks to set up the Alabama Slam but Sylvain slips out. Sylvan catches him with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Holly come back with a shot to the face. That’s enough for Sylvan, who leaves for the countout.

Rating: D. As has been the case for several weeks now, points for trying someone new but it’s still Sylvan vs. Holly. What are you expecting from these guys? The match was short and nothing all that interesting, but was it ever going to be anything else? Sylvan as a fashion expert is Sylvan with a gimmick. I need more than that.

Teddy Long tells Batista about Eddie’s issues but the best doctor in town is on the way.

Cowboy Bob Orton has a casket in the ring and is directing people to set up decorations for what looks like a funeral.

We recap last week’s main event, including Undertaker seeing himself in a casket.

Bob brings out Randy Orton for part of the Undertaker’s retirement ceremony. They open the casket to show the fake Undertaker and Randy talks about how he won last week with mind games. As he is talking, the mannequin opens its eyes and neither Randy nor Bob have any idea what is going on behind them. Randy leans over Randy and gets grabbed by the throat but Bob pulls him to safety. Short angle but to the point well enough.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Kennedy says Chimmel is getting the hang of this commentary thing. Kennedy gives him a hug and tells Chimmel to take a bow, but it’s a low blow to put Chimmel down instead. A mic drops from the ceiling and Kennedy handles his own entrance, even saying that he gained a pound because the Simon System works. The threat of an early 619 sends Kennedy to the floor but he picks Mysterio up and hits a backbreaker for two back inside.

Mysterio sends him into the corner and gets in a springboard crossbody, only to get planted hard again. Kennedy sends him to the apron so Mysterio springboards in with a seated senton. That earns him a DDT but Kennedy misses a charge and gets caught with a Fameasser over the middle rope. Cue JBL, on a horse, for a distraction though, allowing Kennedy to hit the super Regal Roll for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine enough but what matters here was some smart booking. They advanced Mysterio vs. JBL, which is all but guaranteed for No Mercy, but also keep Kennedy undefeated and strong. Just like in the previous match, they’re trying something new, but in this case they might have something with Kennedy.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long has an idea for Raw Homecoming but he and Cannon need to focus on tonight’s main event.

Sharmell has been talking to Kennedy and doesn’t know why Booker can’t get a US Title shot.

The doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong with Eddie and neither does the attractive nurse.

Simon Dean comes out and gets a debuting star.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley shoves him down to start so Simon needs a shake. Simon can’t do much so Lashley bounds him off the mat in a unique spot. For some reason Dean tries a half nelson so Lashley does pushups with Simon on his back. Lashley suplexes him down and finishes with a Dominator. Why wouldn’t you push this guy to the moon?

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Benoit is defending and takes his time here, finishing with the Crossface in about 50 seconds. I think we get the joke now.

Eddie seems to be feeling better after the nurse works on him but freaks out when Batista replaces her. Batista has his own doctor, who seems to violate Eddie in a rather personal way. The doctor’s name? Dr. Barnett.

Undertaker vs. the Ortons in a casket match is confirmed for No Mercy.

Batista/Eddie Guerrero vs. MNM

There’s no Eddie to start but he hobbles down the aisle, still holding his stomach. Mercury gets shoved into the corner to start and then gets shoved down for a bonus. For some reason Mercury tries shoving Batista, meaning it’s a chase around the ring. Back in and Mercury can’t whip Batista either so Batista easily chokes him. Nitro gets in a kick to the back and Mercury scores with a neckbreaker for two. Batista shrugs off a double suplex and spears Nitro down, meaning it’s time to clean house. A Melina distraction lets Batista hit the Batista Bomb on Mercury, only to have Eddie tag himself in and steal the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match as MNM loses again, this time in a glorified handicap match. At least it was to someone who is at the top of the food chain, though it is still annoying to see a team who could be so much lose over and over. They aren’t the champions at the moment though so it could be a lot worse. Just get them their titles back from Animal and Heidenreich as the story is over. Batista vs. Eddie is getting interesting though and I want to see where things go from here with the mind games.

Batista isn’t pleased with a smiling Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a rough show this week with the wrestling not being all that great and the stories only being so good. Eddie vs. Batista is an interesting take on things but Cowboy Bob isn’t quite enough to make me care about the (still good) Undertaker vs. Randy feud any more and JBL vs. Mysterio is just a feud that is taking place. The show wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t very good and No Mercy isn’t looking great so far.

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