The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 06.01.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 06.01.85

Time for some Saturday morning Watts!

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joel Watts

Last week:  Skandor Akbar tries to introduce “The Brute” as his newest charge, but he proves to be “The McGuffin” instead as Jim Duggan returns from having his face burned and beats him back to wherever he came from, never to be seen again.

Kamala v. Mike Somaini

Akbar lights up a cigar before the match and promises to do the same to Duggan’s face if he sticks his nose into Akbar’s business again.  So to prove his point, Kamala destroys the jobber and finishes with the big splash at 0:43, not even doing the gag where he can’t figure out how to pin him.

North American title:  Terry Taylor v. The Nightmare

It kind of blows my mind watching WWF’s TNT show in 1985 with the Moondogs doing nothing squash matches and goofy comedy, and then a month later Randy Colley is here under a mask and CLEARLY the same guy, and he’s supposed to be this serious heel threat.  So Ric Flair steps in after the ring introductions, and he offers $10,000 to both Nightmare and Eddie Gilbert if they can get the title away from Taylor here.  Taylor fights for a slam to start and can’t get him up, but a second try works and he dropkicks Nightmare into the corner.  Taylor grabs an armbar, but Nightmare beats on him in the corner.  Terry comes back with his own forearms, but Nightmare drops an elbow on him.  Taylor fights back again, but walks into a clothesline that gets two.  Nightmare drops a knee for two and goes to a neck vice.  Taylor escapes that predicament and gets a small package for two (with Nightmare barely able to go down for the move), but Nightmare drops him on the top rope and chokes him out on the ropes.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Nightmare gets a splash and drops an elbow for two, but Taylor comes back with a dropkick and a Saito suplex for two.  Nightmare boots him in the face and goes up to the middle rope, but Taylor catches him coming down and slugs away in the corner.  And then Nightmare cuts him off AGAIN and boots him down, then chokes him out in the corner.  Nightmare goes up again and this time Taylor gets the knees up.  They slug it out and Taylor wins that one and drops a knee on Nightmare, which sets up the flying forearm.  But then Terry gets a figure-four to really honk off Flair, so Ric takes the ref and Gilbert pulls Nightmare into the ropes.  Terry takes the knee out again, but this time Eddie takes the ref and Flair trips Taylor, and Nightmare tries the piledriver.  Taylor escapes and Gilbert gets involved AGAIN, so Taylor beats on him, and Flair puts something in Nightmare’s mask and the HEADBUTT OF DEATH finishes at 11:15 and yes, big fat Moondog Rex is the new North American champion.  It’s a victory for terrible workers in generic black trunks and masks everywhere!  Well, you can’t say Bill Watts didn’t have a type.  Taylor was something else as a worker because this wasn’t bad at all and it was all thanks to him.  ***1/2  I know the finish was supposed to be deliberately aggravating to watch with all the interference and idiot ref, but this was not exactly a successful championship run from the Nightmare and he’s not over at this point.

Ric Flair v. Private Terry Daniels

Hacksaw Duggan joins us before the match and he doesn’t appreciate Flair pulling that crap in the previous match and disappointing all the kids out there.  Flair sheds no tears for the kids because Taylor was a LOSER and he couldn’t hang with the Nightmare.  OK, that horrible finish to the title match was almost worth it for Flair’s arrogant dismissal of Taylor here.  Also, if Duggan gets in his face again he’ll have TWO bad eyes because he’s a low class redneck.  So then Duggan KICKS HIS ASS and Flair is bumping all over the ring, but Kamala saves and it’s a two on one beating on a one-eyed man.  So then a fan hands Duggan a chair and he cleans house with it and chases them off.  This was FANTASTIC and makes me want to see this version of Duggan against Flair.

Brad Armstrong & Brickhouse Brown v. Vern Deaton & The Bruiser

See, now here’s another generic bad guy in a black bodysuit and mask, why not make HIM champion while you’re at it?  Also, he’s not to be confused with the much more famous Bruiser.  Maybe I’m just bitter, but I can’t live in a world with both Nightmare and Snowman as singles champions in the same promotion.  And we’ve still got Lord Humungous yet to come!  Brad and Brown double-team the Bruiser and Deaton comes in, but Brickhouse quickly puts him away with the flying headbutt at 1:34.

The Snowman v. Jim Jeffers

Oh great, now we get a Snowman match, too.  Goodie.  Snowman pounds on Jeffers and gets an awkward slam and then finishes with a powerslam at 0:45.

Dutch Mantell & Tom Pritchard v. Mark Ragin & Frank Lane

Dutch and Tom double-team Ragin and work the back, and Dutch slams him and drops an elbow.  Pritchard with a back elbow and they double-team him some more, as Pritchard drops a knee for two.  Dutch goes to a facelock, but Ragin makes a comeback and brings in Frankie Lane, but they immediately cut him off and Dutch gets a lariat and gourdbuster to finish at 3:29.  And that’s not enough, so Dutch grabs Shoo Baby the whip and beats on Lane like he’s Cody Rhodes.  But the Snowman makes the save and steals the whip.  Dutch should probably check the local pawn shops if he wants it back.

The Snowman gets promo time and he trips all over his words, saying it’s not “1828 or 1829 or 1957” because you don’t hit a brother with a whip.  What the fuck is he talking about?  Frankie Lane is WHITE.  Mark Ragin is black but he didn’t get whipped.  So if Dutch was whipping a white jobber it’s OK but if he whips a black jobber it’s racist?  Why not just object to him being an asshole instead of bringing that other crap into it?

Ted Dibiase & Dr. Death Steve Williams v. Wendell Cooley & Superstar Dundee

We’re pretty short of time, but Jake Roberts & Nord the Barbarian hit the ring before the match, and Jake tells Dibiase that the business is about money.  Um, I think that Dibiase knows that better than anyone.  Anyway, they’re making a challenge and Dibiase isn’t having any of it, telling them to get to the back of the line, so a brawl erupts between the heels and we’re out of time.  I’m assuming this was Jake’s babyface turn.

Well this one was ALL over the place, to say the least.  Ric Flair elevates anything he touches, but the Snowman can fuck right off.