The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.12.20
Live from Austin, TX
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur
AEW World tag team title: Kenny Omega & Hangman Page v. SCU
The Dark Order does a promo on the screen beforehand, promising that they’re closer than we think and they’re prepping for the arrival of the Exalted One. I dunno man, the guy in the Scooby Doo costume in the front row seems pretty sketchy to me, I’d keep an eye on him. Or they could hire him to investigate the mysterious Exalted One, although chances are good that it would turn out to be the bitter old gardener who would have gotten away with it if not for those Young Bucks. Wait a minute…bitter gardener…could the Exalted One be Senor Benjamin?!? Omega takes Kazarian down with armdrags to start, but Scorpio gets a cheapshot from the apron and Kenny is AGHAST. He tries a dive and Kaz pulls him down and follows with a release german suplex for two. Sky comes in for a double-team into a Paydirt for two, but Page clears the ring and sets up the Buckshot lariat before SCU breaks it up. Everyone lands on the floor and Kenny tries the Terminator dive, but much like the movie he gets tripped up and lands flat on his face. However, unlike Dark Fate, he recovers and hits it on a second try instead of losing $100 million. Hasta la vista, franchise. Back in, missile drop and fisherman’s buster on Sky get two. Page & Omega double-team Kaz with the Krusher and Page slams Scorpio to set up Kenny’s You Can’t Escape, but Sky gets the knees up and Kaz shoves Page into the railing from the top rope. So SCU works on Kenny in the corner and Scorpio spears him into the railing and the apron, and Kaz gets a springboard legdrop for two. Crossbody gets two and Kaz goes to a bodyscissors on the mat. Omega escapes and makes the hot tag to Page and he runs wild and does some Cowboy Shit and moonsaults Scorpio for two. Scorpio backdrops Omega to the floor and Page tries the Buckshot, but Sky ducks it and Kaz hits own lariat for two. Swinging DDT for two. Backstabber into Scorpio’s Cutter and we get stereo dragon sleepers from SCU, but you can’t have both guys in the ring and thus the ref breaks it up. Page hammers on Kaz with forearms and Kenny comes in with a V-Trigger on Kaz and a snapdragon on Scorpio. Page misses another Buckshot on Kaz, but Kenny hits Kaz with a V-Trigger and the V-Trigger/Buckshot combo finishes at 13:14 to retain. See, now the Elite is getting back on the same page again! I really like these guys as champions and I will be sad when they implode for good. **** Aren’t you just sick of all the great tag team wrestling in AEW? It’s pretty tiresome.
So after the loss, SCU is bummed, but the Dark Order comes out for further discussion, and Best Friends join the babyface side as backup, and pretty soon all the tag teams hit the ring and we get a mini battle royale to preview next week’s #1 contender match. Of minor note, JR off-handedly calls the Young Bucks “The Bucks of Youth”, which is probably a little hint at something.
Meanwhile, JR sits down with Santana, who talks about how shitty his life has been and growing up with a father who lost his eyesight at age 14. However, everything that happened is still Moxley’s fault. Because reasons.
Meanwhile, Darby Allin is still upset about having his throat crushed with a skateboard and expresses it in video form with a challenge to Sammy Guevara on cardboard cards in a bit that draws “OOOOOOOH” from the crowd.
Sammy Guevara v. Dustin Rhodes
Sammy attacks and gets clobbered as a result, and Dustin gets a kneelift for two. Sammy goes to talk things over with Hager, so Dustin follows him out with a lariat off the stairs and gets in Jake’s face as well. We take a break and return with Dustin hitting Sammy with clotheslines and the snap powerslam for two. Dustin goes up but gets distracted by Hager, allowing Sammy brings him down with a GTS for two. Sammy goes up and gets crotched by Dustin and backdropped to the mat, but he recovers and pops right back up. So Dustin knocks him down again and hits a Canadian Destroyer into the Final Cut for the pin at 7:20. **1/2 Afterwards, Dustin gets cocky and calls out “Jericho’s bitch” Hager, wondering if he’s ever getting in the ring because he’s failing at MMA and failing at wrestling, and Dustin wants a shot at him at the PPV. OH SNAP! Funny to see them rehab Jack Swagger and Goldust into something people would want to pay to watch.
Tony Schiavone brings out Dr. Britt Baker DMD for her weekly heel promo. Apparently the tooth she knocked out last week was about to be abscessed, so she actually did Yuka a favor because she’s pretty sure that there was no health insurance. Unlike Tony, who gets insurance from Starbucks. Also, the fans all have “chubby Whattaburger faces”, which is a burn that I guess goes over my head as a Canadian but it sure riled up the crowd. This was a pretty awesome promo from Baker.
AEW World Women’s title: Riho v. Nyla Rose
Riho tries attacking Nyla while Excalibur works in an “I am the table” reference for some internet cred. Rose clotheslines Riho for two and stomps her down, but Riho escapes a suplex and takes her out of the ring with a headscissors and dropkick. She follows with a dive, but Nyla catches her with a backbreaker and pulls out a table. Riho dives off the table with a dropkick and we take a break. Back with Riho hitting dropkicks in the ring, but she tries a crucifix and Nyla drops down on her for the double down. Riho tries the 619 but Nyla blocks it, so Riho gets a seated dropkick for two instead. Nyla gets a samoan drop for two and hangs Riho on the top rope for a guillotine knee, and that gets two. They fight to the top and exchange forearms, but Nyla bites her and brings her down with a DVD for two. They slug it out and Nyla teases a One Winged Angel, but Riho escapes and hits her with a pair of snapdragon suplexes. Running knee misses and she hits the turnbuckles, but Riho escapes a submission attempt from Nyla and gets a northern lights for two. Riho to the top with the double stomp for one, so she goes up and does it again, and then a third time on Nyla’s face for two. Nyla blocks a running knee with a spear and powerbombs her to win the title at 12:10. Great match with a hot crowd, but I have serious questions about the decision to put the title on Nyla. They didn’t need to take it off Riho here and Rose is completely the wrong person. ***3/4
Meanwhile, The Inner Circle is still pretty upset about Moxley going after someone’s eye. I mean, who does that? Regardless, if Moxley survives tonight, next week he gets to face Jericho’s new hired gun, JEFF COBB. Man, the Lucha Underground connections continue hard and fast here.
MJF v. Jungle Boy
MJF gets cocky to start but they do a reversal sequence and JB ends up on top of that, so MJF bails to think it over. Back in, MJF offers a handshake, so Jungle takes it and then does the springboard armdrags with it. Nice. MJF hits him in the throat and beats him down in the corner to take over, then hauls him out of the ring and runs him into the railing. We take a break and return with Jungle Boy making a comeback, and hitting a pair of suicide dives and a tope con hilo. Back in, Jungle with a reverse rana for two. He tries a powerbomb, but the back gives out and MJF escapes and superkicks him in the corner. This sets up a Gory Special submission, but JB reverses to a rollup for two and then flies up to the top. MJF crotches him and offers some choice words for color commentator Brandi Rhodes, but this allows Jungle to hit a powerbomb for two. However, this brings out Wardlow, who arms MJF with the DIAMOND RING OF DOOM, and he knocks out Jungle Boy with it and finishes with the Double Cross at 11:48. MJF is such a fantastically slimy piece of crap. ***1/4
Meanwhile, Pac is still making threats to Kenny Omega and he’s ready for the Iron Man match in two weeks.
NEXT WEEK: Cody v. Wardlow in a cage match! Tag team battle royal! Hangman & Omega v. Lucha Bros!
EYE FOR AN EYE: Jon Moxley v. Santana
Someone needs to use a Red Rider BB Rifle for a weapon or WE RIOT. They brawl in the crowd before Moxley can even make his entrance, and Mox backdrops him over the railing and into ringside. Into the ring and Moxley slugs away in the corner and clotheslines him to the floor, then follows with a double axehandle. However, Santana tries to shove Moxley’s eye on the corner of stairs and we take a break. Back with Mox working for an armbar and he hits a german suplex while the Inner Circle watches from the skybox. Santana takes him into the turnbuckle to take over and rolls into a cutter for two. Piledriver gets two. Santana goes up and misses a splash, and collides with Ortiz by mistake to give Moxley a rollup for two. Moxley with the lariat to make the comeback, but he goes up and Ortiz spits booze in Jon’s eye behind the ref’s back. Santana cannonballs him and follows with a frog splash for two off that. Santana tries to finish, but Mox digs his thumb into Santana’s eye and they’re both blind, just like the saying goes, but Mox feels his way to a Paradigm Shift DDT for the pin at 10:38. *** And the Inner Circle beatdown commences, since Moxley has no friends and no one to save him. And then Jericho brings out Jeff Cobb for good measure, and he hits the Tour of the Islands and we’re out.
Goddamn what a hot crowd this was! And as a result, everyone stepped it up and we got another all-timer from AEW with a GREAT episode. This show just makes me happy and makes me want to buy PPV to see the payoffs.
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