Smackdown – August 25, 2005

Date: August 25, 2005
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and that means a lot of things have wrapped up for good. First and foremost, Batista defeated JBL to retain the Smackdown World Title, which means we need a new #1 contender. Other than that, Rey Mysterio defeated Eddie Guerrero (again) to gain custody of his son, but I wouldn’t bet on the feud being done just yet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Summerslam, or at least the Smackdown side of it.

Here’s Cowboy Bob Orton to talk about how Randy Orton did exactly what he promised to do at Summerslam. This brings out Randy….and he’s having a match.

Randy Orton vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly is now the Alabama Slamma. Feeling out process to start as they shove each other around a bit with the fans being all over Randy. Orton is smart enough to get away from the threat of a chop as we’re still waiting to get into first gear. The threat of an Alabama Slam (or Slamma according to Cole) freaks Orton out again so they can stare at each other even more.

Holly cranks things up with a headlock takeover but Orton reverses into one of his own. Back up and another Alabama Slam attempt is countered so Holly takes him down with an STF. A suplex gives Holly two but Orton runs him over and drops the knee for his own near fall. The neck crank keeps Holly in trouble but he breaks up the superplex attempt.

Holly’s middle rope elbow hits (kind of) a raised boot so he goes right right hands instead. A full nelson slam gives Holly two and a top rope clothesline connects for the same. The Alabama Slam is loaded up so Bob gets on the apron for a distraction. The RKO doesn’t work though and Holly hits the great dropkick for two more. Since it didn’t work the first time, Bob grabs Holly’s leg and now the RKO can finish him off.

Rating: D. This wasn’t good with a weird opening that felt like they were on different planets at times. Then there’s the ending, which could have been done just fine off the initial distraction and didn’t need the second. It also doesn’t say much when you need the same help to beat both the Undertaker and Bob Holly. Summerslam was one thing but you really don’t need the same help for both.

Theodore Long comes into his office and finds a man in a suit that he doesn’t recognize. That would be Palmer Cannon, who works for the network. Which network? Not important here. Anyway, he’s here to help Smackdown continue to be successful in his time slot and to make sure the network’s opinion is represented. In two weeks, the show is moving to Friday nights and Cannon has a huge main event for the debut show. That would be Batista vs. JBL for the World Title, which suggests that Cannon isn’t very good at his job.

Here’s Christian for the Peep Show. Before we get to the business, Christian is ready to face the Mexicools anytime because he just finally got the smell out of his carpet. As for tonight though, here are his guests: Booker T. and Sharmell. Christian welcomes Mr. and Mrs. T. and starts explaining that Booker is a five time, five time….but Booker cuts him off because that’s his stuff. Therefore, Christian asks his first hard question: are they still on speaking terms?

We see a clip of the mixed tag last week with Jillian Hall tripping Sharmell to give Melina the pin. Christian calls Booker out for the non-wrestler wife losing, which puts him in contention for the Ike Turner/Tommy Lee Husband of the Year Award. Sharmell has to hold Booker back as Christian talks about all of Booker’s accomplishments. Granted he can’t think of any at the moment….so what has Booker exactly done lately? Sharmell: “That’s a pretty good question.”

Booker talks about beating up Christian at the Great American Bash and then beating up Kurt Angle for what he did to Sharmell. That’s all true, but Sharmell tells Booker that it’s time to get back to being who he is. Booker remembers who he is…and we’ve got Mexicools. Christian goes after them on the floor and it’s Juvy knocking Sharmell down by mistake. That’s enough to get Booker in on things and the Mexicools are cleared out. Booker made a good fired up comeback but the Sharmell stuff is dragging him way down.

Johnny Nitro vs. Heidenreich

Jillian Hall introduces MNM and brags about the team being on the cover of Smackdown Magazine. Animal, Mercury, Melina and Hall are at ringside. Heidenreich goes with the power to start, including a running knee to rock Nitro. The threat of a shot to the face puts Nitro on the floor and he has to run from Animal for a bonus. Back in and Nitro gets in a kick of his own for two and we hit the chinlock. Heidenreich fights up and hits a few clotheslines, setting up a side slam for two. Everyone gets on the apron at the same time and Mercury chairs Heidenreich in the knee for the DQ.

Raw Rebound.

Chris Benoit is proud of making Orlando Jordan tap out in 25.5 seconds and wants to see what else he can do that fast. We get a clock n the screen and see the whole match as Benoit tries to make a cup of coffee faster than he made Jordan tap out. Benoit wins again. Ok that’s really funny.

JBL yells at Jordan for losing so badly but ignore that because JBL needs him tonight. And make it longer than 25.5 seconds!

Christian/Booker T. vs. Mexicools

Juvy is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with Booker and Christian taking over until we settle down to Christian faceplanting Crazy for an early two. Booker comes in to kick Psicosis in the chest but it’s back to Christian, who goes shoulder first into the post. Crazy’s middle rope missile dropkick gets two so Booker has to be held back from interfering.

Christian can’t fight away from everyone at once and walks into a spinwheel kick from Psicosis. The moonsault misses for Crazy though and it’s back to Booker for the house cleaning. Juvy offers a distraction so the double teaming can ensue. Sharmell tells Christian to get in there but he walks out instead, leaving Booker to take a double belly to back suplex to give Psicosis the pin.

Rating: D+. The Mexicools still aren’t interesting but at least they’re not beating big names clean. Booker vs. Christian is something we’ve done before and I’m not wild on seeing it again, but the Sharmell factor would suggest that a heel turn is coming for Booker. If nothing else, I could go for a Booker vs. Batista in a one off title match.

Post match, Sharmell yells at Booker some more. That’s kind of all she does isn’t it?

The Ortons brag about destroying the Undertaker and have even signed an Undertaker DVD. It’s going to be auctioned off on and the proceeds will go towards Undertaker’s retirement, because he’s dead.

Cannon praises/recaps tonight’s show and wants more Orton on Smackdown. Long doesn’t think that’s the best idea because he has an announcement to make. Cannon stops him, because he wants to know first. That’s not happening because Cannon can find out when everyone else does….right now. Oh yeah Cannon is going to get old in a hurry.

Here’s Long in the ring to announce a lingerie pillow match. He has two women who he knows “can shake that Laffy Taffy” so here are the two newest Smackdown Divas: Stacy Keibler and Christy Hemme. They’re about to disrobe but here’s Cannon to say the network doesn’t want to see this. So yeah, he’s your new heel boss, because this show needed two authority figures.

Ken Kennedy vs. Funaki

Kennedy has been on Velocity before and now he’s making his Smackdown debut. He does his own ring announcing, insisting that Funaki speaks no English but is somehow the #1 announcer. Oh and he says his name twice, which is apparently brilliant. Funaki armdrags him down to start and works on a wristlock but gets sent outside. Kennedy tells everyone to clear out of the way….as he throws Funaki back inside. A splash hits raised knees though and Funaki scores with an enziguri. Kennedy crotches him on top though and finishes with the Green Bay Plunge. Not a blow away debut but you can feel his charisma to start.

Kennedy declares himself the winner. And that’s Mr. Kennedy.

Chris Benoit/Rey Mysterio/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan/Eddie Guerrero

Triple Summerslam rematch and the entrances take their sweet time. JBL, Eddie and Rey are very banged up (with Eddie’s arm and JBL’s ribs heavily taped) after Sunday. Benoit and Jordan start because that’s a great idea for the team. Jordan is quickly German suplexed into the corner and Benoit beats him to the floor for an early break. Back with Eddie hammering on Rey because he can’t let anything go.

A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Rey but he’s right back with the wheelbarrow bulldog. JBL comes in to stare at Rey before demanding Batista. That’s what he gets and the slugout is on, even though the interest was gone after their first match. Batista drives him into the corner for shoulders to the ribs and Benoit comes in to stomp away at them as well. A suplex gets two but Benoit is sent outside for a right hand from Jordan. That actually works for a change and Eddie takes over on Benoit inside.

The abdominal stretch stretches Benoit’s abdominals until Jordan comes in to grab the same hold. Benoit hiptosses his way out because Jordan is worthless and it’s back to JBL to hammer away. Jordan comes back in for two off a swinging neckbreaker and JBL comes in again before Jordan can screw anything up. Benoit avoids a charge though and hits an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Batista. House is cleaned but Eddie breaks up the Batista Bomb to Jordan. Everything breaks down and a 619 into a German suplex into the Batista Bomb finishes Jordan.

Rating: C-. This felt like a post show dark match that got to appear on TV. That’s not a bad thing either as it’s something they can play safe without hurting anyone in the process. Jordan is there to take falls and that’s all he should be doing. Batista continues to look dominant as champion, but another match with JBL sounds as uninteresting as I can imagine at the moment.

Overall Rating: D-. Anything good that Smackdown had going for it before Summerslam has been wiped out now as this was a wreck of a show. There was almost nothing good in any sense and the idea of a heel authority figure, even if it seems to be there to mock UPN, makes my head hurt. It’s a stupid idea that has been played out for years and now we get to do it again as Smackdown channels ECW on TNN. Awful show here, with one bad match after another and a lot of uninteresting people getting television time. Hopefully it back to normal next week, because this was dreadful.

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