The SmarK Rant for NWA Powerrr – 01.21.20
Episode 15 – “Generation Clash”
OK, seriously, why is this show now up to NINETY MINUTES? One of the appealing things was that it was a breezy 45 minute watch and it’s been getting steadily longer as it goes. LESS IS MORE.
Tonight: Ricky Morton gets his shot at the Ten Pounds of Gold!
Taped from Atlanta, GA
Your hosts are Joe Galli & Stu Bennett
Robert Gibson joins us to start, and he really wants to see Ricky achieve his dream tonight.
Tasha Steelz v. Thunder Rosa
I guess Rosa is still supposed to be a heel but the crowd is rabidly behind her. Steelz grabs a headlock and gets a rollup for two, but Rosa kicks her down and follows with a running knee and chinlock. Rosa gets a series of neckbreakers, but misses a charge and Steelz fights back out of the corner. But then she goes up and gets dropkicked out of the air, and Rosa destroys her with the package piledriver at 2:50. Not quite a squash but definitely a strong win for Rosa. **
Meanwhile, Nick Aldis isn’t impressed by Marty Scurll deciding to show up at Hard Times, so he’s going to show up at the ROH Free Enterprise show and he wants all the NWA fans to show up with him and hijack the show.
Royce Isaacs joins Joe at the desk with Mae Valentine, who is clad in pink. Joe points out that his tie matches her dress and some guy in the audience yells “SETTLE DOWN, JOE!” Joe points out that Isaacs is on a bit of a losing streak, but Royce doesn’t keep track of numbers and stats like a math geek. Joe says that the losing streak started once Isaacs started hanging around with Valentine, and Royce replies “Are you implying that I started losing because Mae and I haven’t slept together yet?” Joe: “Wait, WHAT?!?” OK, Isaacs volunteering way too much information was timed great, and this was pretty hilarious.
Austin Idol will teach you to get heat like you’ve got LEPROSY! Do you WANT that kind of heat?
TV title tournament: Trevor Murdoch v. Thomas Latimer
Latimer jumps him in the corner and chases him out of the ring, then follows with BACK RAKES and other such brutal punishments. Back in, Murdoch gets sent into the corner and Latimer follows with a pop-up powerbomb for two. But then Latimer makes one more charge, misses, and Murdoch rolls him up for the pin at 2:33 to advance to the PPV. Not sure why Murdoch got so completely destroyed before the banana peel win, but I can see why they’d want to protect Latimer. *1/2
Meanwhile, Melina talks about her issues with Allysin Kay. They really should just put that Women’s title on Thunder Rosa.
So Melina and Kay join Joe at the desk for their face-to-face, and they actually have to bleep Melina out when she gets too bitchy for YouTube. And speaking of Rosa, Melina gives Kay her match with Thunder Rosa at the PPV for the title (the title that KAY holds, mind you!), but first she has to beat Marti Belle NEXT. That’s pretty backwards.
No DQ: Allysin Kay v. Marti Belle
So as noted by Stu, this is bizarre because Kay has to earn a title match against her challenger, which shows that Melina is obviously messing with Kay’s head at this point. They fight on the floor and Belle sends her into the stairs to take over and then sets up a chair and bends Kay’s neck around the back of it. Belle charges and runs into the chair herself as Stu wonders how two former best friends could treat each other this way. Has he MET a woman before? Speaking from experience here, it’s 100% believable. They fight up into the crowd and Kay does the Sheamus forearms on the stairs, and back into the ring as the chair gets involved again, but Belle begs off. So Kay gives her the faceplant on the chair and pins her at 4:50 anyway. Not much to this one beyond the smoke and mirrors. *
Eddie Kingston joins us, and The Pope is still with him after last week’s loss. Dave: “Well, last week was a tough loss.” Pope: “Don’t talk to the Pope about loss, the Pope didn’t lose!” SAVAGE. Pope clarifies that he’s still searching for his Superpowers and/or Horsemen, and once he finds them, he’ll take Eddie right to the top. So yeah, Eddie agrees that they shouldn’t have done the match last week, but the Pope might have pushed them to take it. But he’s not blaming nobody, he’s a grown man. Also, he doesn’t really want to be in the TV title tournament, so he’s not taking Homicide’s place in it.
Aron Stevens joins us for a self-defense seminar and/or demonstration, brought to you by Mongrovian karate. So Question Mark comes out to the usual uproarious reaction from the fans (Stevens: “DON’T CALL HIM A MARK!”) and does some kata for us. Next up, Question Mark demonstrates self-defense techniques on his students, which could SAVE OUR LIVES. Of course, they all amount to Question Mark using his finger strikes. OH NO, IT’S A SPATULA! And we can learn these techniques direct from Mongrovia for only $99 a week! Amazingly, even the guy with the imaginary pepper spray gets it back in his own face. But will this stuff work in a real combat situation? The piece of Mongrovian oak, 20 times stronger than a human bone, says that it will. But Stevens calls him off, because he’s ready for the FOURTH DEGREE and wants to do it himself. “No you’re not!” yells some guy in the crowd. So Stevens summons his chi like Iron Fist (“Use your head!” prompts the crowd), but before he can break the board, the student turns on him and smashes the Mongrovian oak board, 10 times harder than any oak known to man, onto Stevens. And then reveals himself as Ricky Starks for a great payoff. This wins the whole damn week and might be one of my favorite things in wrestling right now. This was actually a great lesson in building the joke and then delivering the payoff.
Last Chance TV title tournament gauntlet:
So with Zane Dawson removed from the tournament due to injury, the winner of this Royal Rumble style match replaces him at the PPV. Pinfall, submission, or over the top. We start with Kaleb Conley and CW Anderson, and Conley grabs a headlock on CW and they trade some stuff on the mat. Next in, Jocephus, who is immediately thrown over the top at 2:23 and he’s out again. Maybe he should learn Mongrovian self-defense. Colt Cabana is #4 and he gets thrown out, but lands on the apron and comes back in with a bodypress on both guys. Colt with the bionic elbow on Conley for two and a legsweep for two. Dave Dawson is #5 and he splashes Conley for two. Conley makes a comeback and slugs away, but Dawson tosses him into the other guys and everyone is out. Shooter Stevens is #6 and he decides to hide under the ring, which is less effective when everyone can see you do it. Then Zicky Dice comes out, amazed at the magic technology of WIRELESS MICROPHONES and reminds everyone that he’s already in the tournament and will not be participating tonight. Sal Rinauro is #7 and he tries to get Kaleb out, but can’t get him over the top. So he runs wild for a bit and gets a backflip kick on Colt, but Dawson slugs him down for two. Everyone then gangs up on Dawson and dogpiles him for the pin at 9:35. Ken Anderson is #8 and immediately kills Rinauro with the Mic Check at 10:32. Conley misses his moonsault and Anderson ends him at 10:51. Colt and Ken double-team CW, but CW gets a spinebuster on Ken, before Colt dives in with the superman pin at 11:33. But then Question Mark runs interference and Shooter Stevens re-emerges, but Question Mark accidentally hits him with the PARALYZING MONGROVIAN SPIKE and Stevens does a hilarious statue sell and gets thrown out at 12:28, before Anderson rolls up Colt to finish at 12:31 and advance to the PPV. Ken has no hard feelings and then turns on his partner anyway because he’s an asshole. Well so much for that team. This was lots of fun and short enough not to overstay its welcome. *** And then Ken gives Colt a Mic Check into the post to really make his point, whatever that might be. Crowd chants “Go away”, but it’s been more than a decade and he still hasn’t.
Eli Drake and James Storm join Dave at the desk, and they’re pretty confident in Ricky Morton’s chances tonight. Storm points out that Morton was all hopped up on Mountain Dew backstage, so Aldis is in some real trouble. James Storm leads the audience in prayer for Ricky to kick the crap out of Aldis in sweet baby Jesus’ name, Amen. You can’t say they’re not building this one up.
BREAKING NEWS: The open slots in the TV title tournament have been filled, by Matt Cross and Dan Maff (representing ROH). Flip Gordon cuts his tough guy promo on Aldis, but I find it hard to take a guy named FLIP seriously as a bigtime heel. Also, Aron Stevens defends the National Title against Scott Steiner. That could be ugly. Regardless, this’ll probably be a hell of a PPV for $20. https://www.fite.tv/watch/nwa-it-returns/2p57c/
NWA World title: Nick Aldis v. Ricky Morton
This is so big that Billy Corgan himself joins us on commentary. But before the match can start, Stu Bennett has some…breaking news. Billy has decided to ban all the seconds from ringside. Ricky grabs a headlock after a long stall to start and hangs on tenaciously, but Aldis chops out of it. So Ricky slugs him down and Aldis tries to beat him down in the corner, but Ricky fires back and Aldis backs off. Nick wants the test of strength and then tries a hammerlock, but Ricky thumbs him in the eye and slugs away in the corner. Aldis takes a breather on the floor and suckers Ricky out there for an eye rake, then runs him into the post to take over. Back in, Aldis sends him into the corner and goes to the top, but Ricky catches him with a shot on the way down. Aldis goes up again and Ricky slams him down this time and follows with a rana, for two. Ricky takes him down with a figure-four, but Nick makes the ropes. Ricky takes him down with a small package for two, but Aldis rolls it over with a handful of tights for the pin to retain at 11:00. They kept it simple, simple, simple and didn’t do anything Morton couldn’t do, and told a good story of Aldis getting frustrated and finally just stealing a win in the end, and that was the best way to do it. ***1/4
HELL of a show this week, probably one of the best they’ve done. This is well worth your 90 minutes.