The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark – 01.21.20
Hey, this is only 30 minutes this week, so I can bang this one out right after Powerrr and you get a bonus rant today.
Taped from Miami, FL
Your hosts are Excalibur & Taz
Diamante v. Big Swole
Hopefully Swole is more impressive here than she was on Dynamite. Swole turns a hammerlock into a rollup for two, but Diamante rolls her up for two and gets a crucifix for two. Swole works a headlock and Diamante reverses to her own, but Swole powers out and puts her down with a pump kick. They fight on the apron and Diamante chokes her out on the ropes and follows with a rolling vertical suplex. But then she stops and breaks up the third one because she’s BAD. She beats on Swole in the corner and gets a german suplex and shotgun dropkick for two. This allows Diamante to retrieve a sandal from under the ring for her big weapon spot, but Swole steals it and delivers a paddling with it. Swole with the powerbomb off that vicious beatdown and she follows with a lariat. They exchange kicks and Swole gets the rainmaker forearm for the pin at 7:25. This was messy and all over the place stylistically. Just a match, basically. ½*
#Stronghearts v. The Jurassic Express
T-Hawk throws chops on Jungle Boy to start, but JB dropkicks him and throws his own chops. Marko tags himself in and he wants the chops as well, but Lindaman comes in and Marko wants a shoulderblock contest. Lindaman tries a monkey flip and Marko cradles him for two, and a sunset flip gets two. Jungle Boy comes in and fights off T-Hawk and Cima with chops and an armdrag to put them on the floor. Luchasaurus tosses Marko onto them, and Marko gets two on Cima in the ring. T-Hawk comes in for the triple team dropkick and chops the shit out of Marko before going to an STF. Marko fights back with forearms, but T-Hawk hits him with a knee and a short powerbomb for two. More triple teaming with a cool pendulum powerbomb for two, and Lindaman tries a suplex but Luchasaurus gets the hot tag. He throws his kicks, but I think they missed the moment with him and the leg injury derailed him. The reaction just isn’t there anymore. Luchasaurus with a standing moonsault on Lindaman for two. Everyone winds up on the floor and CIMA hits a tope while Lindaman gets a german suplex on Jungle Boy for two. JB comes back with the RANA OF DOOM, but Luchasaurus breaks it up and kicks everyone before flipping Lindaman into a Jungle Boy powerbomb for the pin at 10:50. Another one that was just kind of a match. **1/2 I’m not a Marko Stunt hater or anything, but putting him in the ring with super-pros like the Stronghearts really exposes him and it’s not a great idea.
Totally skippable throwaway show this week, which is probably why it’s only half an hour.