The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark – 01.07.20
Taped from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Excalibur & Chuck Taylor
So I don’t know what’s going on with this one, but it’s only 30 minutes long and the Austin Gunn tryout match didn’t make the show.
We get a recap of the Jericho offer to Jon Moxley in a cold open, and then we get a new opening for Dark. Almost like a real TV show!
Skyler Moore v. Awesome Kong
Skyler Moore appears to be another in the endless line of attractive blonds breaking into the sport lately. She reminds me of Toni Storm, but less Australian. Kong charges in with an avalanche on Moore and casually beats on her and steps on the hair. Moore escapes to the apron but Kong brings her in with a torture rack, bends her around a bit, and slams her. Kong tries the powerbomb and Moore tries to counter with a rollup, but Kong sits on her for one and then hits an Angel’s Wings for the pin at 3:09. Yeah, Skyler is definitely no Toni Storm. Just a really basic squash. ½*
Meanwhile, Christopher Daniels admits that he botched things last time he wrestled, but tonight is his redemption and he’ll get the job done.
Kip Sabian & The Hybrid 2 v. SCU
Excalibur has a low key funny bit where he’s amazed that Daniels actually has a live mic on his gimmick stand, but then gets all sad that he doesn’t actually cut the promo and they just keep playing the music out waiting for it. Kaz works a headlock on Sabin while Chucky notes that Kaz has “tan dysmorphia”, not content to merely be tan but needing to achieve skin colors normally not seen by man. Kazarian gets the combo into the lariat, but Angelico and Evans storm the ring and get tossed out by SCU. The champs triple-team Sabin in the corner, but Scorpio gets caught in the heel corner and they work on his arm. Kazarian comes in and gets a springboard legdrop on Angelico for two, and they hit a double-team neckbreaker for two. Daniels with an exploder for two. He sets up for the Arabian moonsault, but he’s all shook from the previous botch and takes too long allowing the heels to jump him to take over. Evans comes in with a flying double stomp for two and puts his feet on the ropes while Chucky laughs about how the position he’s in doesn’t actually add any leverage. Sabian comes in with a running knee for two and they toss Daniels, allowing Penelope to give him a DDT on the floor. Back in, Sabian with a neckbreaker for two. Evans with a standing sky twister for two. That’s quite a move to just use as a nothing near-fall. Daniels comes back with a neckbreaker and Kaz gets the hot tag and slams the TH2 all over the place before hitting a cutter on Sabian. TH2 comes back and double-teams Kaz into a 450 from Evans for two, and he goes up and misses a Phoenix splash. Kaz rolls him up for two off that. It’s BONZO GONZO and everyone fires off their highspots and they finish Evans with SCU Later at 11:35. This felt like a house show match more than anything. **1/4
Well shit, this is like 2 paragraphs long. I gotta find something else to review tonight.