Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #347 – 18/12/1999

Hello You!

Last week Super Crazy and Super Calo went at it in a fun bit of Extreme Lucha Libre, whilst Rob Van Dam and Tracy Smothers had an enjoyable old school style main event. The big angle was Raven seemingly having a breakdown and Tommy Dreamer trying to calm him.

Did he succeed? Let’s read on to find out!

This week’s matches were taped from Richmond, Virginia

Calling the action is Joey Styles

We open up with Tommy Dreamer trying to talk to Raven, but Raven isn’t interested and asks him to move so he can watch the TV. Dreamer storms out and the camera spins round to reveal that Raven was just watching static on the TV screen. That’s actually quite a cool a visual.

Show Intro: This week’s tagline is “Happy Chanukah, Merry F’N X-Mas, And An Extreme New Year!”

Joey Styles is in front of the ECW Banner, where he hypes up the next two TV tapings and the Guilty As Charged pay per view on the 9th of January 2000.

Opening Match
CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously Vs Mikey Whipwreck

Lou E tells the crowd he hates them, along with Paul E. Dangerously. The fans chant “Sign Guy” at Lou E to annoy him. CW had basically just been a generic guy on the under card without a gimmick or push, but this was the first step in the company actually trying to do something with him. Joey recaps the issue between Mikey Whipwreck and Lou E, which is that Lou E brought Mikey back to ECW but Mikey decided Lou E was taking him nowhere and clocked him with a punch to branch out on his own. His character would take a very sharp turn in 2000. Lou E causes a distraction right from the off and CW jumps Mikey from behind as we take a break.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the ads, Mikey gets a on the floor and puts CW back inside for a springboard move, but Lou E trips him up and then throws him inside so that CW can get the heat. CW targets Mikey’s hand in traditional Anderson Style, and it looks suitably painful. CW gets one heck of a super kick, but Mikey is able to kick out at two. Annoyed by this, CW puts Mikey on the apron and then shoves him off onto the guard rail in a nasty looking spot. Say what you want about Mikey, but the man was one heck of a bump machine!

CW eventually misses a charge in the corner, which allows Mikey to get a reverse DDT and a swinging neck  breaker, with both the moves netting a two count. Mikey heads up with a flying clothesline for two, but when he tries an Irish Whip CW counters it into a nice spine buster for two. CW’s spine buster genuinely rivalled Arn’s for quality of execution in my opinion. Heel miscommunication sees Lou E hit CW with his cellular phone by accident, which allows Mikey to get the Whippersnapper (Stunner) for the upset win.

WINNER: MIKEY WHIPWRECK
RATING: **

Standard TV fare with CW and Lou E being bumbling heels and Mikey being a good underdog babyface trying to fend off two men.

Joey is back in front of the ECW Banner. He hypes up a TV taping from White Plains New York on the 23rd of December 1999.

COMMERCIAL

We get a video recap of Chris Candido and Rhino coming down to the ring to fight with The Impact Players of Justin Credible and Lance Storm on an episode of ECW on TNN. This of course leads to Tammy Sytch and Dawn Marie having their contractually mandated catfight. I really do not remember this Candido and Rhino team at all. It can’t be too long now before they split them up as I don’t think Candido was even around by 2000.

Next we get clips of Candido and Rhino having a match with Storm and Credible from the ECW on TNN show, which features yet ANOTHER catfight between the women, and ends when Rhino accidentally GORES Candido, leading to a Justin Credible three count. Storm cuts a promo saying that The Impact Players cannot be denied and that they will defeat Tommy Dreamer and Raven for the ECW Tag Titles. That leads to The Sandman coming down to the ring for a fight, and he does indeed destroy Jason with a Singapore cane. However, this allows Credible to attack him with a Singapore cane of his own. Storm takes a shot from Credible by accident, so Credible bails and Sandman ends up eating a GORE through a table in the corner.

COMMERCIAL

Rhino cuts a promo on Sandman, saying he isn’t impressed and that Sandman will be the first of many to remember the name of Rhino.

Joey is in front of the ECW Banner again, where he puts Rhino over and hypes up the TV tapings again. Man, tickets must have been selling badly for them to have to desperately plug them as much as this.

Main Event
Simon Diamond without his Dick Vs Jazz

Simon laments that Dick Hertz is not with him tonight, this leaving him Dickless. However, before he can continue his promo he his interrupted by Jazz, who says that without his Dick Simon is just a pussy. Jazz slaps Daimond, so Simon says to wait in the corner until he’s ready to start their match. Diamond of course jumps Jazz from behind, because he’s a jerk, but Jazz quickly rallies and sends Diamond outside, where she Irish Whips him into the railings around ringside.

Diamond cuts Jazz off back inside with some stomps and a sit-out spine buster and then delivers The Simoniser (Fireman’s Carry into a reverse DDT) for the three count. Wow, that was pretty abrupt actually. I kind of thought they might put Jazz over seeing as Dick wasn’t there and they’ve been booking Diamond as a bit of a wimp recently, but no he picked up the clean win. To be honest, that’s probably the best thing to do as Diamond has a genuine upside and could be a star if they pushed him.

WINNER: SIMON DIAMOND
RATING: N/A

This was too short to rate, but it wasn’t bad or anything.

COMMERCIAL

Joey is STILL hyping up the TV tapings and mentions that Masato Tanaka will be facing Mike Awesome at the White Plains show on the 23rd of December. We then get clips from the Masato Tanaka Vs Mike Awesome match from November to Remember 1999. I’ll just post my review of that below.

ECW Title
Champ: Mike Awesome w/ Judge Jeff Jones Vs Masato Tanaka

This is one of the many battles the two have had over the years, with Tanaka getting a one on one shot at Awesome for the Title after losing to him in a Three Way Dance back at Anarchy Rulz. It’s a quick start, as Tanaka sends Awesome outside and then follows with a dive as both men are clearly starting as they mean to go on. Awesome doesn’t allow himself to be outdone, getting his crazy Undertaker WrestleMania dive, and then takes the fight into the crowd before following with another dive out there as these two heavyweights are working like the guys in the Tajiri/Crazy/Lynn match from earlier.

In some ways that’s not the best thing as, impressive though this sort of thing is, it kind of takes away from the uniqueness of the smaller guys when the near 300 pound World Champion is flying around like that. I get the appeal of course, but I also can’t help but think that Awesome rationing his dives a bit more would not only be better for his own personal health but would also not overshadow the smaller guys on the roster whose forte is to do those kind of moves. Anyway, Awesome puts Tanaka back inside and comes off the top rope with a sickening unprotected chair shot to the head before following with another. Serious question how is Masato Tanaka even alive these days after taking that sort of punishment?

Tanaka hits Awesome with a chair shot of his own and then lays a chair over Awesome’s face before dropping a chair assisted elbow from the top for two. Tornado DDT onto the pair of chairs gets another two count for Tanaka, as the crowd chants for him to do it again. Tanaka tries to oblige, but Awesome manages to counter it mid move into a spine buster on the chairs for a double down. Awesome turns Tanaka inside out with a clothesline and follows with an Alabama Slam before heading out to grab a table. Awesome tries to powerbomb Tanaka out of the ring through the table, but Tanaka fights him off with a German Suplex and drags Awesome out onto the apron. Awesome fights back as well however and then gets a sit out powerbomb off the apron through the table.

Amazingly Tanaka kicks out at two back in the ring following that, so Jones slides in another table for his monstrous client to use. Awesome sets that up and then lays Tanaka upon it before heading up top. Tanaka gets off the table however and goes to superplex Awesome through the table. Awesome tries to block it but Tanaka won’t be denied and finally gets the move for two, as the crowd is going nuts. Tanaka goes for the Diamond Dust next (Natural Selection out of the corner) and gets it before going for the Rolling Elbow. Awesome counters that with a German Suplex followed by a clothesline and then heads up top for a big frogsplash for two. Fans were totally buying that as the finish and erupt into applause when Tanaka kicks out. Awesome gets a powerbomb from the top rope next however, and that’s enough to finally finish things.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: MIKE AWESOME
RATING: ***3/4

It’s Mike Awesome Vs Masato Tanaka, so you know it’s going to be good. It perhaps wasn’t quite as good as Anarchy Rulz or their famous bout at Heat Wave 98, but it was still a fantastic match that featured some crazy bumps and consistent good heat from the crowd. It was a bit of a sprint compared to other matches they’ve had, which hurt it a little for me, but it was still an exhilarating bout with some amazing moments.

Joey is back in front of the ECW Banner, where he says that Mike Awesome has seemed indestructible since he won the ECW Title but then sends to footage of Little Spike Dudley laying Awesome out with the Acid Drop on TNN to set up Awesome’s next program. That might be one giant that not even Spike can topple. Joey confirms that if Awesome gets past Tanaka in White Plains then it’s Spike Dudley next at Guilty As Charged on the 9th of January.

COMMERCIAL

Simon Diamond is sitting backstage, sad that his Dick is no longer around. Danny Doring comes over to console him, which leads to cameos from Dawn Marie, Roadkill and Elektra. Elektra threatens to rip out both Danny and Dawn’s eyes if he ever looks at Dawn again, sowing the seeds that she’s going to be way more high maintenance than Miss Congeniality was. Diamond spots ring announcer Mitch hanging around backstage and it looks like the two might form an alliance.

COMMERCIAL

The Impact Players of Justin Credible and Lance Storm cut a promo backstage, where they say they will defeat Dreamer and Raven at Guilty As Charged to become the new ECW Tag Team Champions.

In Conclusion

Not much to this week’s show, as it was mostly recaps of stuff we’ve already seen. Guilty As Charged is taking shape at least.