Smackdown – July 14, 2005

Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2005
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things got a lot more interesting/controversial last week with the whole Muhammad Hassan/Undertaker situation. I’m not sure how they can follow up on that given all of the fallout that comes from it but it should be interesting. We are also ten days away from the Great American Bash, which doesn’t have much of a card yet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Batista vs. JBL, which doesn’t exactly make me think the title is in jeopardy. This also means another look at the Blue Meanie beating JBL, which somehow wasn’t the most interesting thing that happened last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to get things going. After taking a few minutes to soak in some hatred, Eddie says Rey Mysterio isn’t here tonight. See, Rey thought that he was going to be able to avoid being humiliated tonight by not being here, but that’s not how it works. All that matters is that Eddie knows something Rey wants to keep from everyone from knowing. We see a clip of Eddie making Rey beg him for mercy last week. Eddie: “You should have seen what I planned out for this week!” Eddie isn’t done yet though because he wants to talk to Rey’s son Dominick.

After ordering Tony Chimmel to give up his chair, Eddie has a seat and talks about a boy named Dominick who lived a long time ago and far away. Then one day, Dominick went out into the woods to play….but here are Eddie’s wife Vickie and their kids. Eddie goes to the floor and introduces his family to the crowd before screaming at them to go to the back. Vickie says this is getting out of hand and this secret, whatever it is, needs to be kept quiet because it could hurt a lot of people, including Rey. Eddie grabs her by the neck and forces her to the back in an uncomfortable moment.

Post break, Eddie yells about how this is what he does and Vickie needs to worry about the girls like she is supposed to. Hardcore Holly of all people tries to intervene and gets shoved away. Vickie is put into the card and, despite protesting the whole time, drives away with the kids.

Mexicools vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Paul London/Funaki

Super Crazy stars with London and gets chopped up against the ropes, only to have Juvy get in a knee to the back from the apron to take over. Juvy comes in to work on the armbar and it’s Super Crazy coming in as well for a double basement dropkick to Scotty’s head. Scotty tries to fight out of the corner as Cole freaks out over not knowing what THE JUICE means.

Juvy gets knocked down and the diving tag brings London back in. Some dropkicks take the Mexicools down and it’s a belly to back suplex to drop Juvy again. Psicosis and Crazy break up the 450 though, allowing Crazy to hit his own moonsault. Juvy’s 450 is enough to put London away.

Rating: C-. So the Mexicools have finally debuted and….yeah it’s three good luchadors in a trios match. I’m not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than getting their foot in the door because they weren’t all that impressive. At the same time though, how far has London fallen since winning the title? I know it doesn’t mean anything but good grief. Drop the title if that’s how worthless they see it being.

Christian hits on Candice Michelle by offering any help she may need but Booker T. and Sharmell interrupt. Booker isn’t impressed so Christian tells him to back off. A match is set for later.

Batista talks about watching Smackdown while he was on Raw, where he saw JBL as a loudmouthed bully. At the Great American Bash, the bully is getting beaten up and getting an attitude adjustment.

Melina tells MNM that she’ll catch up with them in the ring. She goes over to Torrie Wilson and isn’t happy with a fan asking Torrie for an autograph. Whatever Torrie can do, Melina can do it better. They’ll fight at the Bash and let’s make it a bra and panties match.

Heidenreich comes out for a match but gets jumped by MNM. Heidenreich gets posted so Melina asks where his friends are now. Cue Road Warrior Animal of all people for the save, because the Legion of Doom has a new DVD out and we need to promote it somehow. To be fair though, the fans do go nuts for him.

MNM bails so Animal grabs the mic and plugs the DVD before saying he doesn’t like MNM declaring themselves the best team of all time. Mercury calls Animal old and gives the Road Warriors a title shot at the Bash. Nitro: “We can’t do that. His partner is dead!” Animal is ready to snap but Heidenreich calms him down and offers to team with him at the pay per view. The match is made.

We look back at the opening segment with Eddie getting creepier than usual.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hardcore Holly

They start with the shoving again until Eddie chops him in the corner. More chops against the ropes have Holly in trouble but another corner version misses. Holly knocks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie chopping away some more until Holly armdrags him into an armbar.

A drop toehold sends Holly face first into the buckle so it’s time to step on Holly’s face. Eddie’s figure four necklock is powered up into an electric chair and they’re both down. Holly hits a backdrop and dropkick for two, followed by a full nelson slam for the same. A top rope clothesline gets the third two in a row but the Alabama Slam out of the corner is blocked.

That’s fine with Holly, who hits his kick to the very low ribs. They head outside with Holly going shoulder first into the post and back first into the apron. The referee gets poked in the eye, probably not by mistake, and Eddie hits Holly in the knee with a pipe. A Texas Cloverleaf makes Holly tap.

Rating: C. I know Holly gets some eye rolls at times but he can wrestle a fine match like he did here. Granted it’s against Eddie Guerrero so it’s almost guaranteed to be at least decent, but Holly held up his end as well. It’s also a nice sign to have Eddie’s jealous madness getting to other people as well, which it really should at this point.

Post match Eddie apologizes to Vickie and says she knows he would never hurt her or the kids. Now, he’s going to prove how much he loves Vickie by giving Rey a chance. They can fight again at the Bash (they’re booking this show in a hurry tonight) and if Rey beats him, the secret will never be told. If Eddie wins though, the secret is coming out.

Muhammad Hassan is not here tonight, but we will have a prepared statement from Hassan’s attorney.

Post break here is the attorney for the statement. You can tell he’s an attorney because he wears a suit, has a briefcase, and the announcer tells us that he is an attorney. Oh and he stops to put on reading glasses before clearing his throat. His name is Thomas Whitney Esq. and the statement talks about Hassan taking a break from Smackdown due to everything that has happened in the last week.

Hassan has American rights and it is a sad day when he has to retain an attorney to protect those rights. Hassan will not be back until after he defeats the Undertaker at the Great American Bash….and there’s the gong. One long entrance and a beating later and we’re done. Whitney wouldn’t be done in wrestling, though it helped a lot when he shaved his head and changed his name to Tommaso Ciampa.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Hold on though as Christian jumps him from behind in the aisle. Booker is sent into various steel objects (steps, post) but the referee lets the match start anyway. Therefore, the Unprettier finishes Booker in about fifteen seconds.

The Boogeyman is coming.

Great American Bash rundown, with Christian vs. Booker T. as the fourth match added during this show.

Here’s Orlando Jordan with JBL for the main event, but first JBL needs to rant about last week. That was a humiliating night for him as he was beaten up by someone who should have bought a ticket to see him. The Great American Bash is his pay per view and we will see what the Wrestlemania main event should have been. There are all time greats, but there is only one wrestling god.

Batista vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Batista starts with the shoulders in the corner before hitting another one in the middle of the ring. Jordan gets back in but JBL offers a quick trip to pull Batista outside. That means a whip into the steps (popular weapon tonight) so Jordan can start working on the knee to take over. An argument with the referee lets JBL wrap the leg around the post to keep Batista down.

Jordan lays on the leg but Batista pops up for the shoulders in the corner. A powerslam plants Jordan but JBL has to be knocked off the apron. With JBL dispatched and the referee bumped, the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb….is broken up by a JBL chair shot. That gets a close two so JBL tries the Clothesline, only to get knocked away without much effort. Now the Batista Bomb can finish Jordan.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a very good match but it also set up some things for the future. This was about setting up Batista vs. JBL at the Great American Bash, which may not be sounding like the most thrilling match but it is something that gives Batista his first win as Smackdown Champion. There wasn’t much of a sweat over Jordan, but was there really supposed to be one?

Post match JBL kicks Batista in the bad knee and hits the Clothesline. Posing with the title ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a show that illustrated how weak things could be. Other than Eddie/Rey, there isn’t much on here that I really want to see. There did set up a lot of stuff for the Bash, but it includes what will be a nacho break match and Animal getting a title shot (the LOD was great but Animal and Heidenreich…..not exactly). The top half of Smackdown is going to be very good but outside of that, I’m really not sure how the rest of the show is going to go. One or two strong angles can carry a show, but if one of those doesn’t work, they’re in big trouble. Not a terrible show, but the lack of depth is showing.

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