The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.27.19
Live from Chicago, IL
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Excalibur.
Soul Train Jones kicks off the show, leading the celebration party for LE CHAMPION, who brings a little bit of the bubbly with him. The ring is filled with presents and people dressed as various animal mascots, so there’s plenty of opportunity for pro wrestling shenanigans. In fact, some lucky people in the audience even get coupons for FIFTY CENTS off a Jericho t-shirt! That comes out of his own pocket. Also, he’s got his own drink now, at http://littlebitofthebubbly.com So the Inner Circle joins the party, as Sammy Guevara presents him with a life-sized carboard standee of their loving hug. Meanwhile, Proud & Powerful have a gift basket filled with Vicks Vapo-Rub (for flu season), flip-flops, “a little bit of the forty”, and an official Boriqua doo rag! And Jake Hager has the greatest gift of all: Chris Jeri-Goat! The big box contains an even greater surprise, in the form of New York Rangers great Ted Irvine, who sadly thinks he’s still in New York, but reminisces about beating the Blackhawks all the time because they were and always will be WIMPS. And he gives all the Inner Circle members their own custom Rangers jerseys (“Ruffian” and “Thug” are of course on P&P’s jerseys), which is amazing. So Jericho finally gets to his official “thank you” from TNT, and he calls Justin Roberts into the ring to read it (“You announce stuff, you read this for me.”) but then harasses him for not reading it right and slaps him around. However, the marching band turns out to be SCU in disguise and makes the save, beating up poor Soul Train for a bit. A hilarious segment that sadly lacked a true payoff like it was seemingly building towards.
Best Friends v. The Lucha Bros
The Luchas attack in the aisle before the match starts, but Orange Cassidy saves while wearing a turkey costume. In the ring, Trent runs wild on the Luchas for a bit, but they hit him with a double superkick and Pentagon slams Fenix onto him for two. We take a break and return with the Luchas doing a Wazzup onto Trent for two. Trent escapes and makes the hot tag to Chuck, but he rolls Pentagon into a half crab and gets kicked in the face by Fenix as a result. The Luchas bail and Chuck hits them with a dive, but Trent tries his own and gets superkicked, and Pentagon follows with a Canadian Destroyer for two. Orange Cassidy provides some distraction with his turkey outfit (“What a life he must lead” notes JR) and Chuck hits Pentagon with a somersault senton off the stairs, while Trent finishes Fenix with the crunching piledriver at 9:35 in a rather large upset. **1/2
And now, the AEW Top Five!
Important Safety Information
Do not use THE AEW TOP FIVE if you are allergic to one of its ingredients. If you use/used prescription products for eye pressure problems, use THE AEW TOP FIVE under doctor care. May cause brown darkening of the colored part of the eye which is likely permanent. THE AEW TOP FIVE may cause eyelid skin darkening which may be reversible. Only apply at base of upper lashes. DO NOT APPLY to lower lid. Hair may grow outside the treatment area. If you have eye problems/surgery, consult your doctor. Common side effects include itchy and red eyes. If discontinued, lashes gradually return to previous appearance.
These are not all the possible side effects of THE AEW TOP FIVE. For more information, please talk to Orange Cassidy.
- Nyla Rose
- Emi Sakura
- Britt Baker
- Hikaru Shida
Bea Priestly & Emi Sakura v. Hikaru Shida & Kris Statlander
Statlander goes to the apron and hits Priestly with a moonsault to the floor right away, and Shida brings out her chair, only for Sakura to steal her seat as we take a break. Back in the ring for PIP and Sakura goofs around with the ref and goes to work on Shida with the bow-and-arrow. Sakura tries to bring her microphone stand in and does some karaoke while holding an abdominal stretch. Priestley chokes away in the corner, but Shida suplexes Sakura into her and gets a high knee before making the hot tag to Statlander. She runs wild with kicks and does an Oklahoma roll on Sakura for two, but Emi rolls the dice on her and Bea comes in with a flying double stomp to the back. Sakura with a backbreaker for two and she goes up and misses a moonsault. Statlander hits an electric chair and ax kick for two, and a Michinoku Driver for two, but Priestley uses the mic stand and Sakura rolls her up for the pin at 9:40. This was pretty rough most of the way through, almost as rough as JR talking about “orientals”. **
Meanwhile, Jon Moxley declares himself to be napalm death, coming for Kenny Omega or anyone else who wants to be a hero.
Cody Rhodes v. Matt Knicks
Knicks goes for the injured ribs to start, but Cody springboards into a cutter and then finishes with a figure-four at 1:23. Cody calls out MJF, but two guys come out from under the ring and destroy him, led by Allie in black leather, and their names are apparently “the Butcher” and “The Blade”. No idea who those guys are. Surprises are nice but sometimes it’s better to actually build up a character first, because that came off totally flat, especially after they were already trying to get Wardlow over at Cody’s expense last week.
Pac v. Kenny Omega
Kenny quickly hits the snapdragon and follows with a buckle bomb and spinebuster for two, then hits a retreating Pac with the Terminator dive. Pac sends him in the railing, but Kenny gets another snapdragon to put Pac on the floor and follows with a moonsault. We take the PIP break and Pac takes over in the ring, whipping him into the corner and going to a chinlock on the mat. They slug it out and Kenny is shaky, but boots Pac into the corner. He gets a pair of Polish hammers and follows with a fisherman’s buster for two, but Pac escapes You Can’t Escape and throws his own big boot and follows with a lariat. They fight to the top and Pac brings him down with a top rope falcon arrow, but that only gets two. Back to the top, but the Black Arrow misses and Kenny hits him with the V Trigger. Pac escapes the Angel and Kenny rolls him up for the pin at 12:09. Nice to see Kenny finally get a big win for once. ***1/2
Dynamite Diamond finals: MJF v. Hangman Page
Page attacks to start and chases MJF out of the ring, but Wardlow prevents any diving on his part. MJF runs into the crowd and Page hauls him back in as we take a break. Back with Page clotheslining him to the floor and following with the dive he wanted, and then a moonsault for good measure. Back in, MJF hide behind the ref to prevent the lariat and then pokes him in the eyes. Page shakes it off with a lariat for two and follows with the Buckshot lariat for two, but Wardlow puts the foot on the ropes to save. Wardlow hits Page with a punch from the floor, and MJF finishes with a Doublecross-roads at 8:03. Not much to this one. **
DDP is here to present the diamond ring to MJF and congratulate him like a man, but MJF acts like a punk as usual and then hides behind Wardlow. And DDP never actually gives him the $45,000 ring!
Dustin Rhodes is here and he’s out for Jake Hager’s blood, but the Inner Circle jumps him for the beatdown and the Bucks make the save.
Meanwhile, a bunch of losers join the Dark Order, as they’ve apparently got people everywhere in society and could be anywhere and anyone. Hopefully they infiltrate someone more over.
AEW World title: Chris Jericho v. Scorpio Sky
Jericho works a headlock to start, but Sky clotheslines him to the floor and tries a dive, but Jericho moves out of the way and Sky compensates with a dropkick instead. Back in the ring, Sky gets a sunset flip for two and runs Jericho into the turnbuckles, but Jericho dropkicks him off the apron and we take a break. Back with Jericho getting a suplex and he throws chops in the corner, but Scorpio comes back with a neckbreaker and a dropkick. Springboard cutter gets two. He tries a missile dropkick and Jericho counters him with the Walls of Jericho, but Sky makes the ropes. Jericho stops to yell at Aubrey Edwards, and walks into another cutter as a result, which sets up the dragon sleeper. Jake Hager shows up and Sky releases the move to go after him, and both guys are down after a clothesline. SCU goes after Hager to get him out of there, but Jericho grabs the belt, only to walk into the TKO from Sky for two. Scorpio freaks out and can’t follow up, however, allowing Jericho to fight him off and go to the top. Sky brings him down with a rana and follows with an enzuigiri for two, but Jericho hits him with the codebreaker for two. Sky reverses the Judas elbow with a backslide for two, but Jericho catches a kick and takes him down with the Walls again and Sky taps at 12:45. This was exactly what it needed to be, a hell of an effort from Sky where he gets himself over ultimately loses. **** And then Jericho continues the beating, but Jon Moxley appears in the stands to set up the next big program.
I’d call this one of the weaker editions of the show, especially after the PPV-like buildup to it, although there were still two great matches and that’s nothing to sneeze at.