The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.30.19
(I figured I should just get Dynamite up before Crown Jewel this afternoon, so I un-stickied Dark. Here’s my review if you haven’t read it yet this morning: https://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2019/10/31/the-smark-rant-for-aew-dark-10-29-19/)
Live from Charleston, WV
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross & Excalibur
Cody Rhodes is at the airport, getting picked up by Tony for his contract signing TONIGHT.
Last week: Moxley and Pac go to a time limit draw and Mox doesn’t take it very well, beating on Pac with a chair and trying to break his neck. And you thought WWE fans hated the Hell in the Cell finish. So after the show, Moxley barges into Tony Khan’s office and learns that AEW won’t sanction his match with Omega because it’s going to be too violent. So Omega’s blood is on THEIR hands!
Hangman Page v. Sammy Guevara
Apparently they call Sammy “Ace Banished God” according to the ring announcer. Must be one of those things kids are saying these days. Kids these days with their Twitters and Instagrams and stuff. And indeed, Sammy is vlogging from inside the ring while Page makes his entrance. Yes, yes, I know it’s actually “A Spanish god” before anyone rolls their eyes in the comments. But then the question is, which one? I’ve heard Quetzalcoatl is a cool guy. Page throws the chops to start and boots Sammy down, and a suplex gets two. Sammy does some acrobatics and hits a dropkick to take over, and a snap suplex gets one. Hangman hits him with a lame corner clothesline and catches a bodypress attempt into a fallaway slam, then clotheslines Sammy to the floor. Back in, Sammy gets a superkick after more preening, but Hangman puts him down again with a lariat and follows with a corner clothesline. Big boot into a backdrop suplex and Sammy retreats to the apron, where Page hits him with a Bossman slam. THAT’S THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING! Back in, that gets two. Page tosses him and follows with a moonsault, but can’t set up for the buckshot lariat in the ring. They trade forearms and Page hits the lariat on a second try for the pin at 8:10. They never really got into a strong groove here, but it was fine. **1/2
Meanwhile, the Rock N Roll Express arrives, and Private Party is pretty excited about it.
Shana v. Hikaru Shida
Shana gets the wristlock to start and gets a flipping neckbreaker for two, then tosses her and tries a dive, but runs into a knee. Shida sets up a chair on the floor and jumps off it with a knee strike, and back in the ring for more knees from Shida. Backbreaker gets two. Shida beats on Shana with knees, but a small package gets two for Shana. Shana comes back with a forearm for two, and a double underhook pancake piledriver for two. Shana goes up and they fight over a superplex on top, which ends up with Shida hanging in the Tree of Woe and Shana hitting a double stomp for two. Shana tries another double underhook, but Shida counters into a reverse piledriver that sends Shana to the apron. Shida with a superplex for two, but Shana rolls her up for two. They do another rollup series and Shana gets two, but Shida puts her down with a high knee and a Falcon Arrow for two. Shining Wizard finishes at 10:45. This felt like something from AEW Dark but they had a good match despite the quiet crowd. ***
Meanwhile, Brandi Rhodes is mired in darkness and evil. Must be that time of the month.
The Rock N Roll Express are here with the AEW tag team title belts, but before they can even finish reminiscing, Santana and Ortiz mug them from behind and beat on Ricky with a loaded sock, then powerbomb him through a table until the Young Bucks finally make the save.
Alex Reynolds, John Silver & QT Marshall v. The Best Friends & Orange Cassidy
Finally, we get some freshly squeezed Orange Cassidy on Dynamite! But first, we cut back to the limo, as Tony escorts Cody and tells a story about walking in on a naked Dusty Rhodes, thus learning that you always make the other guy wait to prove who the bigger star is. The Best Friends are dressed as Rick & Morty for our synergy crossover as promised. The Friends double-team Silver and Trent loses his wig, so Silver boots him down and the jobbers clear the ring and then hit Trent with corner clotheslines. Trent no-sells that and hits Silver with a tornado DDT, and Chucky comes in with a sliced bread on QT. Thankfully, this allows Trent to retrieve his Morty wig, but QT breaks up the hug. Now that’s heel heat. Orange Cassidy batters QT with devastating superkicks to get rid of him, then hits the jobbers with the hands-in-pockets tope, and then they finish Silver with Strong Zero at 3:10. If you didn’t love this you’re a heartless monster, like worse than Evil Morty.
Contract signing! Le Champion is rocking the orange and purple pumpkin jacket, while Cody makes him wait, as promised. Jericho clarifies that the match is too big to “flip over a table” or powerbomb Cody through the table. So Cody’s gonna learn a lesson…a lesson of what it’s like to be a LOSER. Hey, he was Stardust, he’s learned that lesson many times over. Jericho: “Calm down, hillbillies.” This man is so great. Jericho offers the handshake and we get the staredown, but Cody is apparently needed elsewhere. So Jericho offers up a video in the parking lot, with Jake Hager and Sammy Guevara murdalizing Dustin Rhodes (denting the car with his head!) and slamming the limo door on his arm. I’m disappointed that Dustin didn’t yell MAKE IT GOOD beforehand but still A-plus stuff. And Jericho lighting up a victory cigar before leaving is a great heel touch. They’re just knocking it out of the park with the big angles every week.
Jack Evans, Angelico & Kip Sabian v. Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks
Kenny goes for full nerd points with an Undertale video wall and costume. Now would he go for the pacifist run or the genocide run, I wonder? Not to be outdone, the Bucks are Ken and Ryu. The Hybrids attack during the Elite pose and Sabian hits the Bucks with a dive while TH2 double-team Omega. Omega recovers with the bulldog on both, and the Bucks double-team Sabian and catapult him into the corner, with Matt hitting a springboard double-stomp off that. Evans tosses Omega and hits him with the Sasuke Special, and the heels do to work on Matt in the ring. Angelico sets up a suplex and Evans comes off the top with a double stomp on Matt from there, which gets two as we take a break. The TSN archive has the full version, so we continue on with Matt hitting a stunner on Angelico out of the corner and making the hot tag to Kenny. Kenny misses a knee in the corner, however, Angelico hits him with kicks and reverses the dragon suplex into a figure-four. The Bucks storm in and try to break it up, but he won’t release, so Matt moonsaults Angelico to stop the move. Over to Nick, who hits everyone with kicks, and we get a double moonsault on Sabian for two. Sabian comes back with a reverse rana on Matt and we get tags on both sides, and now Omega gets the dragon suplexes on the heels. He misses the V-Trigger on Evans and Evans puts him down with a high kick, but the Bucks double-team him and it’s a SUPERKICK PARTY. Evans takes out Matt with a moonsault on the floor, but Angelico walks into a V-Trigger from Omega in the ring. Sabian cuts off the Terminator dive and threatens his own version, but the Bucks catch him and powerbomb him on the apron. Well that went wrong for him. Back in the ring, it’s TRIPLE SUPERKICKS for Evans, then the V-Trigger, and One Winged Angel to finish at 11:30. Hell of a TV match. **** But then The Bucks go to high-five a couple of Rick & Morty fans at ringside, and they unmask as Santana & Ortiz and lay them out. Ha, nice.
The Librarian comes out for some cheap heat, but Jon Moxley immediately interrupts and kills him. THANK GOD. Moxley cuts a paranoid promo against the company for declaring him “unsanctionable” and promises glorious violent wrestling like we haven’t seen in decades at the PPV. So everyone can kiss his ass and stay the hell out of his way. Okey dokey, thanks for the heads up.
AEW Tag team title tournament finals: Pentagon & Fenix v. Kazarian & Scorpio Sky
Penta slugs it out with Kaz to start and it’s BONZO GONZO and a DONNYBROOK right away. Kaz walks into a double superkick and the Luchas double-team Sky with a backstabber, and Penta hits Kazarian with a pumphandle driver for two. Sky saves and gets taken out again, and Fenix walks the ropes into a head kick on Kazarian for two. The Luchas work on Sky in the corner, but he escapes and monkey-flips Kazarian into a double clothesline on the Luchas in a slick move. Springboard legdrop on Fenix gets two and they toss Pentagon and double-team Fenix for two. Fenix does an incredible gymnastic reversal of a wristlock and sends Kazarian to the floor as a result, and Penta hits him with kicks out there after sending Sky into the stairs. And then Pentagon holds Kazarian in catapult position and Fenix slingshots to the floor with a legdrop. Back in, Fenix gets two on Kaz off that. Fenix sends Sky into the railing to keep him occupied and beat on Kazarian in the corner. Fenix with a dropkick for two. Kaz tries to fight his way out with an Angel’s Wings on Fenix and manages to make the hot tag to Sky, and he gets a flying headscissors on Pentagon and follows with a dive. Fenix cuts him off with a baseball slide, but Kazarian tries to give him a top rope rana to the floor and wipes out on the apron in a scary spot. Back in, Sky gets a swinging DDT on Fenix for two while Kaz recovers, but Pentagon brings Kaz in with a Destroyer and Fenix gets a cutter on Sky for two. Fenix and Sky collide on a crossbody, while Pentagon powerbombs Kazarian through a table at ringside. “Luckily the concrete broke his fall” notes Excalibur. The Luchas double-team Sky as things look bad for SCU, and Fenix springboards off Penta’s shoulders for two, but Scorpio gets a surprise cradle on Pentagon for the pin and the titles at 12:40. That was a weird finish. Everything seemed to be leading to Christopher Daniels making his return and getting revenge in the big finish, but they just kind of ended the match. Not a fan of that ending. Also the Lucha Brothers clearly should have been the first champions because they’re the biggest stars and best team, so this kind of ended the episode on a down note for me. ***1/2
This was a good show, but ended up being one of the weaker ones when all was said and done. The tag title tournament kind of fizzled for me and it really feels like the belts should be involved in the Bucks-LAX feud. The contract signing was great though.