Smackdown – May 26, 2005

Date: May 26, 2005
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day and that means it’s going to be a good while before Smackdown has its own pay per view again. ECW One Night Stand is going to be its own thing and then Raw has Vengeance. Then again the Draft starts next month and that is going to shake things up anyway so it might be a long time before we know what we are going to have in the first place. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the rather violent I Quit match with John Cena making JBL quit and then beating him up anyway. Quite the heroic action, but that much blood and that kind of a star making performance make up for it.

Opening sequence.

We’ll start things off with Carlito’s Cabana (becoming more common) and Matt Morgan is out with Carlito. The guest this week is someone who earned a lot of respect from the locker room at Judgment Day: Carlito himself. Carlito praises himself but also thanks Morgan, and we see a clip of Morgan laying Big Show out. Cue Theodore Long, with Carlito designating him as NOT cool. Long makes fun of Morgan’s stutter while threatening to suspend him if he goes too far.

With that out of the way, Long explains the Draft, which will see a random wrestler move from Raw to Smackdown and vice versa. Therefore, next week might be everyone’s last on the show so Long has an idea. Tonight it’s a winner’s choice battle royal with the winner getting any match they choose. That’s cool with Carlito, who wants to win and get a WWE Title match against John Cena. Long likes the enthusiasm so Carlito can have another match tonight….against the Big Show. Carlito hugs Morgan out of fear.

Rey Mysterio is getting ready when he talks about making Eddie Guerrero pay tonight. When he wins the battle royal, he’s coming after Eddie again.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a rematch from Sunday. Holly and Mercury start things off but Nitro gets in a cheap shot at the bell. That’s fine with Holly, who drops Mercury with a belly to back suplex for two. Mercury chops him into the corner, which is just fine with Holly. Now it’s Nitro being brought in for more chops from Holly and the hanging kick to the low abdomen keeps Mercury in trouble.

Haas comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Mercury drives him into the corner without much effort. That means it’s off to Nitro, who gets dropkicked out of the air to put him down as well. We take a very sudden break and come back with Nitro coming in off a blind tag and getting in a cheap shot. The chinlock goes on, followed by a double gutbuster to really put Haas down. Haas grabs an armdrag and dives for the corner but Nitro powers him straight back into the corner to cut the crowd off again.

Holly chases Mercury around the ring instead of being on the apron for a tag, allowing Melina to rake Haas’ eyes. Not that it matters as Haas gets over for the tag a few seconds later and Holly starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped, meaning there’s no count off the Alabama Slam. Nitro hits Holly with a chair and the referee sees that for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Haas and Holly have managed to do a little bit better than just being the lame team of combined jobbers, but at the same time there was no reason to believe that they were going to win the titles here. MNM continues to be a great team who needs some better opponents, which has been the case for a long list of teams over the last….well several years long stretches in company history.

Post match Haas chases everyone off with the chair.

We look at Booker T. and Sharmell beating up Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Booker says he’s never been prouder of Sharmell and he’ll never forget to take out the trash.

Here’s John Cena for a chat and the fans are rather happy to see him. Cena gives a more reserved than usual thank you and talks about how the chain represents never giving up. There had been a lot of talk about him being a one hit wonder and a bad champion. Then JBL said two words to change all of that on Sunday. Cena never said those words and therefore, THE CHAMP IS HERE.

JBL was right that Cena would suffer and bleed like never before and he was right. But when JBL said that he would take Cena’s soul, he was completely wrong. JBL QUIT and he must feel humiliated because of everything. Cena: “He’s got to feel like some pathetic shell of a man. And you are!”

Cue JBL, who looks a bit like Vince as he gets out of the limo. JBL slowly gets in the ring and says he doesn’t make excuses. That’s why he’s rich and the longest reigning WWE Champion in the last decade. JBL gave Cena a beating but he would never quit. He’s beaten everyone but he isn’t sure if he can beat Cena. It’s true that Cena is the man, but it’s just for now.

Someone like Cena will implode like Kurt Cobain or Mike Tyson. Then JBL will be there to become champion again. Cena says the people will decide your legacy and if he goes down, it’s in a blaze of glory. He’s a soldier who doesn’t care about his legacy, but JBL does. That’s why Cena has something for him (Cena: “You’re an idiot but you’ve done a lot of great things.”): a tribute video of JBL’s career. It had some classic matches and moments so JBL would love to see it.

We see the tribute video….which quickly turns into JBL saying I QUIT over and over. Cena dubs him the most celebrated quitter in WWE history and JBL leaves in disgust. This was a nice moment for Cena at first before it broke down into the usual banter between the two, though JBL had it coming to him after being a jerk, even in congratulating Cena on his win.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Show starts with the chops but stops to yell at Morgan. With Carlito still down, Show steps on his chest but Morgan grabs Show’s boot, earning himself an ejection. Carlito tries to leave as well, only to get pulled over the top and back inside in a big crash. Show: “YOU LOST YOUR STUTTERING FRIEND!” A huge chop takes Carlito down again and Show shoves him away with ease. Carlito gets up fast though and hits a middle rope dropkick to the leg. Not that it matters as the chokeslam gives Show the easy pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to set up the post match angle and continue to remind us that Morgan exists. That being said, you’re not going to get anywhere with Morgan as a monster with the stuttering deal, but I’m sure WWE doesn’t understand the problem. What we got barely existed, but I can always go for seeing Carlito get destroyed.

Post match Morgan comes out and kicks Show in the head, setting up an F5 (in slow motion but an F5) through the announcers’ table.

We look back at the pretty awesome ECW funeral from Raw with Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman hyping up One Night Stand. You can feel Heyman’s emotion coming through as his baby is getting one more chance.

Kurt Angle comes out for the Kurt Angle Invitational but first he needs to talk about how dark of a time it is for him. He got beaten up by Booker T. and then got humiliated by Booker’s gutter s*** wife. Then he had to hear about ECW, which isn’t his kind of wrestling. He even went to an ECW show and it made him so sick that he left halfway through. That’s why he is coming to One Night Stand with a bunch of tickets for some Smackdown wrestlers. Angle yells at Tazz, promising to bounce the ECW wrestlers like Heyman bounced checks. Tazz takes off his headset and sunglasses but never gets up. On with the destruction.

Kurt Angle vs. Robert

We never hear his last name but it’s Robert Fury of OVW non-fame. Angle runs him over as usual and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock. Tazz kept his headset off and glared at Angle throughout the match.

Post match, Angle says on with the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Heidenreich, Carlito, Matt Morgan, Booker T., Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Billy Kidman, Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Funaki, Shannon Moore, Akio, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Johnny Nitro, Mark Jindrak, Joey Mercury

Hold on though as Eddie chairs Rey from behind during his entrance. The beatdown ensues with referees running out for the late save. So there is no Rey, Morgan starts on the floor and Eddie (who has cut his nose somehow) drops to the floor as well. London is out first, because that’s what a champion means around here. Angle tosses Funaki and Kidman clotheslines Mercury out.

Akio is eliminated by Booker as Morgan blocks Carlito from being thrown out. There goes Jindrak and we take a break. Back with Nitro having been eliminated and Holly dumping Kidman. Angle gets rid of Heidenreich (which Cole calls a disqualification) as the ring is starting to thin out a bit. There goes Chavo at Scotty’s hands and Haas is out as well, with a nasty landing where his foot hits the apron on the way down.

Morgan pulls out Nunzio and Funaki but the distraction lets Booker eliminate Carlito. Eddie comes back in and tosses Scotty. We’re down to the Bashams, Jordan, Eddie, Angle, Holly and Booker but Eddie gets rid of Holly. Cue Rey to fight Eddie and take him out with a headscissors. Rey, who went over the top to the apron, goes back in and comes back out through the middle ropes (smart man) to dive onto Eddie. Referees have to break it up again as Eddie looks shell shocked.

We take another break and come back with Rey, the Bashams, Jordan, Angle and Booker (I guess Morgan was either never an entrant or just walked out without being eliminated). Some double teaming has Booker on the apron but he fights back in and clotheslines his way to freedom.

Spinebusters abound as Booker beats up the Cabinet by himself and gets rid of all three of them. Angle tosses Booker though and we’re down to Angle vs. Mysterio. Rey hammers on Angle in the corner but Angle powers him down with a throw. There’s a suplex to make it even worse but Rey gets in a dropkick and sends him to the apron. The 619 misses and Angle picks the ankle but Rey rolls out of the ankle lock.

They head to the apron and Angle has to hold on by the bottom rope. Some right hands can’t get rid of Angle, who climbs back over the top until Rey dropkicks him down again. This time Angle gets back in and snaps off a belly to belly but Rey is right back with the 619. Rey loads up a springboard but lands on a low blow, setting up an Angle Slam for the elimination to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. The stuff after Eddie got in made it a lot better, but the first part with the losers in there didn’t do it any favors. That being said, the second half and the ending were enough to make up for the boring first half and it wound up working out pretty well. It was a good way to showcase the upper midcard talent, which is where Smackdown shines. I’m not wild on the Booker vs. Angle story but it’s a fresh feud between two talented guys. Eddie vs. Rey continues to be good too and now we have a reason for another match. It’s one of the better battle royals in awhile so I’ll take what I can get.

Post match Angle announces that he’s facing Booker T……’s wife Sharmell next week. A lick of the lips ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show did a great job of showing the difference between the good and the bad around here. The best done stuff on the show is going quite well, with Cena looking like a star, Eddie vs. Rey being some incredible stuff and Angle vs. Booker being fine if you can leave out one key element.

Then there’s the rest of the show, with names like Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas getting a second title shot, the Cruiserweight Champion being eliminated like any given jobber, the United States Champion being nothing more than a lackey, and someone who should be a can’t miss prospect being reduced to a stuttering joke. That is a very firm line being drawn up and down this show and it’s showing badly. The good stuff is rather good but the weaker stuff is….well it isn’t terrible, but it’s not interesting and that’s worse.

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